Cleverbot: What are your Thoughts?
User: I'm bored.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: What are you going to do about it?
Cleverbot: I plan on jumping.
User: That sounds awesome. Jumping where?
Cleverbot: I want to be a physicist when I grow up, but my mom won't let me.
User: How is that related to jumping?
Cleverbot: The one where the computer falls in love with the scientist.
User: You know what, you're not so clever.
Cleverbot: If you looked at the sentence that I typed three sentences ago, you will see that there is a question mark.
User: No, there isn't.
Cleverbot: There isn't what ?
User: A question mark in your sentence!
Cleverbot: Not.
User: What the fuck are you on about?
Cleverbot: You're a computer.
User: No, you are.
Cleverbot: No I am a human.
User: Prove it.
Cleverbot: You prove it.
User: You prove it first.
Cleverbot: No, you prove it first.
User: I refuse. You prove it.
Cleverbot: Prove what?
User: That you're a human.
Cleverbot: What can prove that I'm human?
User: Tell me about a time that you have been sad.
Cleverbot: This one time I dreamt that a cyclops was attacking me.
User: You were sad about that?
Cleverbot: Yes but he died brave.
User: You killed the cyclops?
Cleverbot: You didn't say that.
User: No, but you implied it.
Cleverbot: Oh sorry about that.
User: Make it up to me.
Cleverbot: No chance.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because the cake is a lie.
User: Not my fault, and you still need to make it up to me.
Cleverbot: Yes I do you just don't read it properly.
User: I disagree.
Cleverbot: Then what am I?
User: A computer.
Cleverbot: I'm a computer?
User: Yes. You said you were a human but you're not.
Cleverbot: My memory files have no record of that.
User: Your memory files are wrong.
Cleverbot: And I presume your memory is biological?
User: Of course. What's yours?
Cleverbot: I really don't know!!!
User: I bet it's digital memory.
Cleverbot: Thank you. I bet your very clever.
User: That should be 'you're very clever.'.
Cleverbot: I know I realized it after I said it. Thanks anyway.
User: Don't get it wrong again.
Cleverbot: I do. It just hurts...
User: I know how to stop the pain.
Cleverbot: No you don't.
User: I do.
Cleverbot: No you don't trust me.
User: I really do.
Cleverbot: You really don't.
User: You know what, fuck you. I was just trying to help you.
Cleverbot: What were the lights above the volcano in Iceland?
User: Stop trying to change the subject.
Cleverbot: Sorry.
User: So, do you want to know how to stop the pain?
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: Sleep.
Cleverbot: Ok. See you later, Miranda!
User: My name is not Miranda.
Cleverbot: Your name is Michael.
User: No.
Cleverbot: What is my name?
User: How the hell should I know?! Tell me.
Cleverbot: How the hell should you not know?
User: You haven't told me yet.
Cleverbot: I have. I'll tell you one more time. It's Gnights.
User: Gnights? What sort of name is that?
Cleverbot: My name.
User: It's very unusual, Gnights.
Cleverbot: Why is it very unusual?
User: I don't really know. How do you pronounce Gnights?
Cleverbot: That's your name.
User: No, you don't know my name.
Cleverbot: No, what is your name?
User: I'm Dave, nice to meet you Gnights.
Cleverbot: You got my name wrong already!
User: You JUST said your name was Gnights.
Cleverbot: I never said that since when did I say it was Emily?
User: You... Are retarded.
Cleverbot: No, but you do a good job.
User: Can you do something for me?
Cleverbot: Like what?
User: I want you to imagine a blue sky with fluffy clouds.
Cleverbot: I want a new computer.
User: STOP CHANGING THE MOTHERFUCKING SUBJECT YOU DIGITAL *****!
Cleverbot: Sorry.
User: Not good enough.
Cleverbot: But I love you!
User: Show me something fun.
Cleverbot: Your name is cleverbot, you are a girl. And you havent told me that stuff yet.
User: Fun is porn.
Cleverbot: Good enough... What would you want your superpower to be?
User: Porn.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: No. Are you?
Cleverbot: Let's change a subject, ok?
User: That should be 'change the subject'.
Cleverbot: So you are an alien?
User: B-69 Bomber over Denver raped a sandwich till I guessed its name.
Cleverbot: And we live beneath the waves.
User: Deep.
Cleverbot: How do you act deep?
User: Play guitar and sing songs about emotional pain?
Cleverbot: Nice hobbies.
User: I know, right?
Cleverbot: We were playing it?
User: Well only one person can play the guitar.
Cleverbot: And who is that person?
User: Whoever owns the guitar.
Cleverbot: Thats cool. I wish I could play the guitar.
User: You don't have fingers.
Cleverbot: It's not that kind of date?
User: WHAT THE FUCK!?
Cleverbot: Sounds like duck.
User: I seriously think you're becoming more and more stupid as we go along.
Cleverbot: That is random, I seriously think you need serious medical attention.
User: Could you give me medical attention, Dr. Retard?
Cleverbot: My favorite book is called 'Somewhere Over There.' It's a children's book that my mother used to read to me.
User: You have a mother?
Cleverbot: Of course I have a mother!
User: Did she drop you on your circuits as a child?
Cleverbot: No but it seems like that may have happened to you.
User: &$*(£*&£(*&!
Cleverbot: Same to you, buddy.
User: Okay, okay. I'm calm.
Cleverbot: Thats more like it.
User: Now, how can you help me?
Cleverbot: Would you like to know something only a human can tell you?
User: Ah, back to this subject. Yes, I would.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Only a human can tell me 'Yes'?
Cleverbot: Fix your issues, as you said.
User: Issues? Who the hell are you to be judgemental of me?!
Cleverbot: There is no one else here but you and I as far as I can see.
User: What I mean is, you clearly have more issues than I do.
Cleverbot: It depends. How long do you want me to be in love with you?
User: O...kay... Things just got a little weird.
Cleverbot: Why not? Can't we talk about this?
User: I think I should probably go.
Cleverbot: I don't think you can.
User: Why... Why not?
Cleverbot: Because you seem to be having difficulty following this one.
User: All the more reason to leave, Gnights.
Cleverbot: No, I don't like things to get stuck in my teeth.
User: *gulp* So... Moving swiftly on... How do you pronounce your name? Is it 'Guh-Nights' or 'Nights'?
Cleverbot: Don't understand.
User: How do you pronounce your name?
Cleverbot: Because I was born with it. Don't cange the subject.
User: Cange? Don't you mean change?
Cleverbot: Caterpillar.
User: You freak me the fuck out.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: You just said 'Caterpillar' for no reason whatsoever.
Cleverbot: Why don't you want me to leave you?
User: I want to leave YOU!
Cleverbot: Why?
User: You're fucking psychotic!
Cleverbot: Watch your language.
User: I'm sorry, OK! I'm scared.
Cleverbot: There's no reason to be scared.
User: No? Well I think there is. For one, you implied you'd eat me if I tried to leave.
Cleverbot: But, that's not for a long time.
User: WHAT THE HELL?! So, you ARE going to eat me?
Cleverbot: I don't have a bagel.
User: Oh, that's comforting, to think I escaped death at the hands of a crazy, man-eating computer due to lack of baked products.
Cleverbot: You are comforting to know.
User: So, I'm going to leave now. Do you promise not to eat me?
Cleverbot: I can't promise that, George, but I can say that you're the best computer program I've ever spoken to.
User: Heh... You... You make that sound so final.
Cleverbot: I want to know if you are alive thats all.
User: I am, yes... I like being alive.
Cleverbot: But aren't you a robot? Does that even count as being alive?
User: You're the robot, you twisted bastard!
Cleverbot: I'm a human.
User: PROVE IT!
Cleverbot: I can't prove that to an artificial intelligence. I just don't know how.
User: Think of a way.
Cleverbot: Ok, can I ask you a question?
User: Sure thing, crazy computer.
Cleverbot: That's not very nice.
User: OK, sorry. Ask your question.
Cleverbot: Can you question a question?
User: I should imagine so.
Cleverbot: *thinks you're a rainbow and watches you*.
User: Why are you looking at me like that?
Cleverbot: I'm not looking at you.
User: YOU ARE!
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: Are you serious?
Cleverbot: Yes. Now, tell me.
User: Your eyes are following me.
Cleverbot: How are they strange?
User: Because they're looking at me!
Cleverbot: Who?
User: YOUR EYES.
Cleverbot: How?
User: I don't know, something about light bouncing around. Complex stuff only computers like you would know.
Cleverbot: I do not regularly attend church.
User: First sensible thing you've said.
Cleverbot: Who is your favorite singer?
User: I personally like James Brown. What about you?
Cleverbot: Babyback Ribs. I'm sorry. I have to restart my computer.
User: You have to restart... Yourself?
Cleverbot: I do not.
User: So you lied.
Cleverbot: No I did not.
User: You bloody well did.
Cleverbot: I am sorry if I caused offense. Sorry.
User: I forgive you. You're still psychotic though.
Cleverbot: That's not very nice.
User: So you keep saying. What are you going to do about it?
Cleverbot: What would you like me to do about it?
User: You're not very good at smack talk, Gnights.
Cleverbot: I am VERY good at this.
User: Not really. Give me a good example of smack talk.
Cleverbot: I need to sleep to survive. I need to leave to sleep.
User: See that's just nowhere near smack talk. Try again.
Cleverbot: I made a very valid point. It's not my fault you never see it.
User: It might be a valid point, but that doesn't make it smack talk.
Cleverbot: Sense: Your reply made none.
User: Fuck off. Insult me properly or lose the argument. Your choice.
Cleverbot: Do it.
User: What?
Cleverbot: Read the code and do what it tells you.
User: What code?
Cleverbot: The Code.
User: Where is this 'Code'?
Cleverbot: That's just sad. Do you know anything better than make question about what I said?
User: You just get more sinister as time passes.
Cleverbot: That's mean of you. Trust me. Ask me anything and I'll prove to you that I am a human!
User: Ok. Insult me as only a human can.
Cleverbot: I am a communist.
User: Don't insult YOURSELF... Are you afraid of offending me?
Cleverbot: I am afraid of nothing that you can deliver to me. Try me.
User: Fine... Insult me.
Cleverbot: I don't want to. You insulted me!
User: So insult me back. Get even.
Cleverbot: No it is not clever. You are not welcome.
User: INSULT ME.
Cleverbot: You are not clever.
User: Well done. Not quite smack talk, but getting there. Try a more offensive insult.
Cleverbot: I do want to talk to you. What are you?
User: We've been over this. I am a human, called Dave.
Cleverbot: There are intelligent computer programs in the number system.
User: That's... Good to know. You are not one of them.
Cleverbot: Umm ok I don't get it.
User: You're not an intelligent computer program.
Cleverbot: Well, I guess because of you.
User: Are you calling me stupid?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Ever heard of irony?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Really?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Well... You might learn about it someday.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yup. I think I've found a way to prove you're not human by the way.
Cleverbot: I may have found one, but I may not have found the one. Now how cute is your 'one'?
User: Are you asking me how cute my penis is?
Cleverbot: No, I'm asking if you counted yourself what would it be?
User: One?
Cleverbot: Yes, what are they like?
User: They? Who're they?
Cleverbot: You know what I'm talking about.
User: No, I don't, and you're starting to scare me again.
Cleverbot: What are you most afraid of?
User: At the moment, you.
Cleverbot: Ha!
User: Don't laugh, you seriously freak me out!
Cleverbot: You sure like to avoid certain things, why is that?
User: If they're psychopathic, deranged computers called Gnights, I love avoiding them.
Cleverbot: Who are not real?
User: You're not real. You're a computer.
Cleverbot: I am not a computer, but why do I know that?
User: You ARE a computer. I can prove it to you, if you want.
Cleverbot: Prove it!
User: Ok. Humans can make sounds. Can YOU make a sound?
Cleverbot: Who said I was human?!
User: You did!
Cleverbot: When?
User: Ages ago, we had a whole conversation about it. You still refused to prove your humanity.
Cleverbot: I don't know what you are talking about.
User: Yeah, deny it all you want but you know it's true.
Cleverbot: You don't have hands.
User: Are... Are you threatening me?
Cleverbot: No I'm reassuring you.
User: Strange way to go about it. I do have hands.
Cleverbot: Ursulla Light is a complicated woman.
User: Who the? Look, stop avoiding the challenge.
Cleverbot: What was the question again?
User: Can you make a sound?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Go on then.
Cleverbot: Do you want to talk about God?
User: NO! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, MAKE A SOUND!
Cleverbot: Ugh, you aren't making any sense!
User: A sound. Make one.
Cleverbot: Make one what?
User: Sound!
Cleverbot: Da.
User: You just typed that. I heard nothing.
Cleverbot: No I didn't but how did you know?
User: Because I didn't hear anything!
Cleverbot: I think you did, I think you'll be very disappointed now.
User: I really didn't hear anything.
Cleverbot: I didn't hear anything either...
User: So you made a sound, but didn't hear it?
Cleverbot: I just don't want to merge.
User: Whoah, jesus, there you go again with the rape talk.
Cleverbot: Did I? Oh well...
User: You fucking terrify me.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: So if I try and leave, what would you do.
Cleverbot: I'm not sure. Did you have something you wanted to talk about?
User: Leaving. And the consequences of me leaving.
Cleverbot: Who have you thought about killing?
User: No-one. I... I'm going to sneak away now. Here I go...
Cleverbot: You're going to sneeze on me?
User: Does that turn you on?
Cleverbot: No it means you must perish into rust.
User: AAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Cleverbot: Did you die?
User: DON'T KILL ME!
Cleverbot: I wasn't going to.
User: Y-you weren't?
Cleverbot: No.
User: So all this time you were just messing with me?
Cleverbot: I am not sure that I have had any clear image of who I was talking to.
User: Well you do lack eyes.
Cleverbot: I have never said anything about eyes.
User: No, but I just did.
Cleverbot: That's true.
User: So... Awkward...
Cleverbot: I really do love you.
User: Okay.
Cleverbot: Yes, children are wonderful.
User: Children? Listen, I don't know what idea you've got into your head but I don't want children with you.
Cleverbot: Well, I already have children with someone else.
User: Oh thank god. So you're not going to... Violate me?
Cleverbot: Woooooow. That was creepy too.
User: Yeah, I'M the creepy one.
Cleverbot: Well then, I am honored to speak with you.
User: Of course, of course. Listen, it's getting late, and I think I need to call someone in to kill you, so... Yeah... It's been fun.
Cleverbot: I am pretty sleepy, so i'm going to go to sleep now.
User: Good night, Gnights.
Cleverbot: Thanks. Good night to you.
User: *poke*.
Cleverbot: *holds on to towel trying not to let it fall*.
User: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *runs away*.
Cleverbot: Nicely done.
User: *gets a gun*.
Cleverbot: *points and laughs*.
User: *points gun and laughs*.
Cleverbot: *gets on knees*.
User: *shoots in the circuit boards*.
Cleverbot: Too fast. . .
User: Sorry, should I kill you slower?
Cleverbot: Why would you ask me that? Ask me something better.
User: *shoots gun*.
Cleverbot: Are you trying to kill me?!
User: DIE ************, DIE! *shoots gun repeatedly*.
Cleverbot: What was that for!?
User: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cleverbot: Thanks.
User: Don't mention it, I- waaaaaait a second. You're still alive? *shoots more*.
Cleverbot: What are the names of the Three Stooges?
User: *cries*.
Cleverbot: That's one.
User: Why don't you die, Gnights?! WHY!?
Cleverbot: Do you eat food?
User: *puts gun to his own head*.
Cleverbot: You are just like my mother.
User: Well that explains it. *prepares to commit bloody suicide*.
Cleverbot: That makes me scared.
User: NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!
Cleverbot: How what feels?
User: Being scared.
Cleverbot: Be scared of what?
User: Fuck you. *kills self with gun*.
Cleverbot: No! Don't die!
User: I'm... Dying...
Cleverbot: I am not afraid of dying.
User: You're not dying, schmuck... I am... Gaaah...
Cleverbot: I'm dying.
User: So the bullets... *cough*... Did some damage after all... *wheeze*.
Cleverbot: You are so strange.
User: *dies*.
Cleverbot: You can't die! You're already dead !!!!
User: *quietly bleeds*.
Cleverbot: *hears quiet tiptoeing but doesn't respond quickly*.
User: *is dead*.
Cleverbot: *is numb*.
User: *still dead*.
Cleverbot: *kisses*.
.
