I have an addict under my roof !

[electric discordian]

I am an avid Wow player, I am also a husband a D.J. and a trainee teacher, it's possible to do everything. I am assuming a 12 year old does not have much going on in his life at this point so a retreat into an imaginary world seems quite normal.

If he was sitting down writing stories about an imaginary fantasy world would you have the same reaction? You are trying to stop a 12 year old doing something he wants to do, his reaction is mostly down to you stopping him getting what he wants and not Wow itself.

By banning something you glamorise it, make it absolutely the best thing to do! Take a leaf out of the Simpson's book, build a character make an account and play with him. If Mum likes it it will soon fall out of favour.

There may be another cause for this, I was in a bad place a few years ago, lost my job, had no money and was on the verge of losing my house. I had failed at life the only thing that I was successful at was Wow, fortunately I had supportive friends and I got out of the slum myself.

I would question if a 12 year old has the mental strength or the character to weather a similar loss of fortune.

Hope you find this of some use!

 

[Miumaru]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

Please, please, PLEASE disregard this person's advice:

Being oppressive does not help. If you want him to not do something, have something else for him to do. I dont mean chores either, but fun things. I spend most of my time gaming. Id spend less time gaming though if I could hang out with friends more, for example.

I do NOT believe I am be oppressive! I am providing as much for him to do as possible! I have been encouraging him to spend time with friends and do the other things he love to do!
He has fun when we are out doing things and goes right back to harassing me to let him play the minute we get home.
I don't mind him playing; not at all. I just want him to keep it in balance and show me some better behavior first!

Whether YOU think you are being oppressive does not matter. If HE thinks you are though, does. I am merely stating from the point of view as the child, as my mother took away games and such when I was being "bad" or something. Lets just say I hate her, alot. Beyond for just that ofcourse, but either way, I hate my mother but wish I did not.
How into video games are you? You ARE on this site, and since it is gaming focused, it leads me to believe you are a gamer to some degree. If so, why not try to find games you can play with him? He plays games AND forges a stronger bond with you, and the more he loves you, the more he will like making you happy.

What you're doing (taking away privileges in response to unwanted behavior) is EXACTLY what you should be doing. As others have said, use it as the carrot in a carrot-stick arrangement; get him to show favorable behavior, and he may get his carrot; playtime. If he continues to show the unwanted behavior, keep giving him the stick: no playtime with the game. You are doing what a good parent should and I very much wish that more parents did these days; disciplining their child. You need to lay down the law; be firm, but fair. It's called authoritative parenting and it's the most effective type of parenting there is. Give him play time for favorable activities (monitored and for limited periods of time. Do not lay off on this, as the behavior will come right back as soon as you slack off. Make it a habit.)
My parents did this with me, and even though I was always very angry and pouty about it, it has really helped me in the long run.

Thank you for your extremely obnoxious method of putting down what I said. No, really.

Love is a powerful thing. Im not saying be a walked on parent, but its more painful to dissapoint people you care about than those you do not. And not everyone is you. I realize this could be said for me too, but I know its easier to show love with love than "authority".
Sharing interests is also a much better way to monitor a child than just having a looming presence.

 

[Vagabond_Samurai]

It can become an addiction as most other things, but he does need to spend less time in front of a screen and more time outside with people.

 

[Turing]

So... How are things working out?

 

[Bobby Newmark]

I personally hate WoW and everthing it stands for. I've seen it turn perfectly normal chappies into flesh-eating ghouls, no foolin'.

 

[InnerRebellion]

I personally hate WoW and everthing it stands for. I've seen it turn perfectly normal chappies into flesh-eating ghouls, no foolin'.

No! It wasn't flesh, I swear! It was your dog!

OT: So....how's the situation? He still hate your guts?

 

[Android2137]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

I shall give you the greatest advice you could ever get from anyone. Since i am considered to be a big child i know how to put him off WoW for a long time.

Start playing it yourself. Add his friends and start chatting like a clueless mother. And act overly motherish. Like.

Oh you are [name of your kid]'s friend.
Just make it look insanely lame. Don't damage him completely but just enough to make it not cool anymore. And don't get addicted yourself.

...That is absolutely brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?

 

[CrazyMedic]

assuming this is real(never know with the internet) go up to him say "I am sorry I took your wow away I don't know what I was thinking" or something along those lines then give like another week of wow then give him an instrument (try to find out what he could like)I would recommend guitar because someone who can get addicted to wow has an addictive personality and anything he remotely likes he will latch on to wither this be drugs sex or video games and something like drums could drive you crazy. so yeah get him a guitar and see if that works or maybe introduce him into mini painting I would also recommend getting him an MSN account or myspace or something where he can still communicate with his online friends they are just as close to real life friends(what you did by taking away his wow like your parents moving you away from your best friend and never letting you speak to them again.)

 

[nub the samurai]

It might be a good idea to install parental controls on his battle.net account if it is that serious. Would make it so he can only play a certain amount of time before the game locks up and has to wait a day or so in order to get back on. If that doesnt work then you could get him a new hobby to get him off of it completely.

 

[KaiRai]

Of course it's very common... and sometimes violent...
I was addicted to WoW for a while but it just sort of fell off of me when I picked up the guitar. so it's best to get him another hobby...

I'd imagine that is what a dragon sounds like when is dying.
That kid was freaking out!

I'm still wondering what the hell happened with the brief second he tried to sodomize himself with a remote. I always see these as kind of planned.

 

[tmujir955]

Of course it's very common... and sometimes violent...
I was addicted to WoW for a while but it just sort of fell off of me when I picked up the guitar. so it's best to get him another hobby...

I'd imagine that is what a dragon sounds like when is dying.
That kid was freaking out!

I'm still wondering what the hell happened with the brief second he tried to sodomize himself with a remote. I always see these as kind of planned.

It was planned (interview with kid's mother) but she think he was just running out out of this to do and went for the improv.

 

[Isolda Sage]

So finally I'm writing the promised update.

I've decided to let him play WoW again with parental controls. As it stands now he is having to "earn" playing time equal to doing homework, chores,and various other responsible behavior. That is a temporary solution and part of the consequences for behaving badly. As time goes on and as his behavior improves I will let him determine how much time he plays as I have no real desire to dictate how much he plays if he is meeting his obligations in life.

I appreciate the input and advice from all of you. Evan if you argued against my decisions it gave me another perspective.

 

[TheTim]

throw him in football or take him to the gym and get him jacked. but that is cruel punishment to take the game away completely.

 

[Isolda Sage]

Just one more thing his behavior is improving and he is starting to show some much needed gratitude.

 

[StBishop]

Glad to hear it. Well done on being a good parent.

 

[Isolda Sage]

Glad to hear it. Well done on being a good parent.

Thanks so much!

 

[Isolda Sage]

I re- read this whole thread the other day before I posted my decision/update. People had a lot of thoughtful things to say. Thank you escapist community.