I just can't better my situation at all.

[Free Thinker]

Lately, I have been through a medical issue that has kept me out of school for quite a bit. I was already a somewhat obscure person. Very few people even talked to me during my medical leave. So I've been basically running around playing salvage and repair for school work and friends. I've always been somewhat cynical and slightly bitter because of my past experiences, but I've never let it surface to be seen my anyone. With this stress, I've gone to a councilor to possibly fix a few problems. It's helped a few issues, but my impatience has gotten the best of me.

As an attempt to get whatever social life I have left back to normal standards, I've tried to build some bridges and get some things planned. Anything to get my isolation to end. Sadly with exams around the corner, my friends have gone to study. I don't blame them. So I have made a few plans for summer. Normally that'd make me feel a hell of a lot better as it's been who knows how long since I've done something with friends. I would feel better, but all my friends are in a relationship. I would essentially be somewhat by myself. They've mentioned this and I've already dwelled on it.

As from above, I've probably made it very clear I am self-conscious. Before all this, there was a girl I liked. We talked whenever we could and I always enjoyed her company. But since the medical emergency, I haven't talked to her. I sent her a message over facebook to see if we could start talking more and maybe get her cell phone number so we could text. Sadly, it's been days, and I know she's been on facebook. This isn't the first time I've had issues with women, but I know it won't be the last. At least I have a close friend who just helps me through it. She says since I'm such a nice, hopeless romantic guy, that I'll eventually find someone.

Here I am with a cavalcade of issues that may as well have an easy fix, and I'm asking for help, which I've never done before. I'm damn mess now.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Lately, I have been through a medical issue that has kept me out of school for quite a bit. I was already a somewhat obscure person. Very few people even talked to me during my medical leave. So I've been basically running around playing salvage and repair for school work and friends. I've always been somewhat cynical and slightly bitter because of my past experiences, but I've never let it surface to be seen my anyone. With this stress, I've gone to a councilor to possibly fix a few problems. It's helped a few issues, but my impatience has gotten the best of me.

As an attempt to get whatever social life I have left back to normal standards, I've tried to build some bridges and get some things planned. Anything to get my isolation to end. Sadly with exams around the corner, my friends have gone to study. I don't blame them. So I have made a few plans for summer. Normally that'd make me feel a hell of a lot better as it's been who knows how long since I've done something with friends. I would feel better, but all my friends are in a relationship. I would essentially be somewhat by myself. They've mentioned this and I've already dwelled on it.

As from above, I've probably made it very clear I am self-conscious. Before all this, there was a girl I liked. We talked whenever we could and I always enjoyed her company. But since the medical emergency, I haven't talked to her. I sent her a message over facebook to see if we could start talking more and maybe get her cell phone number so we could text. Sadly, it's been days, and I know she's been on facebook. This isn't the first time I've had issues with women, but I know it won't be the last. At least I have a close friend who just helps me through it. She says since I'm such a nice, hopeless romantic guy, that I'll eventually find someone.

Here I am with a cavalcade of issues that may as well have an easy fix, and I'm asking for help, which I've never done before. I'm damn mess now.

Well if life was like a movie at all, you would ended up with the friend who helps you though things. But more on a serious note, are you in high school? or college?

 

[zombiesinc]

I would feel better, but all my friends are in a relationship. I would essentially be somewhat by myself. They've mentioned this and I've already dwelled on it.

It's natural for people who are in relationships to spend a lot of time with one another, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to spend at least some time with them throughout the summer. It may be less than if they were single, but there's nothing you can do about it. There's also the possibility that you'll end up hanging out with the couple, and feel like a third wheel. This can get awkward, if you let it, but it doesn't mean it'll automatically become awkward. Just make some plans, go out, have fun, and don't focus too much on being a 'third wheel'. If you find that most of your friends are busy more often than not, you'll just have to do other things to occupy your time. Having just spent so much time doing just that while going through your medical issue, I'm sure that may become very frustrating very quickly, but don't let it get you down. If you try to reach out to friends, and they simply can't make the time for you, at least you've tried. But it's also important to keep in mind that your friends being in relationships doesn't necessarily mean you won't be able to hang out with them, at all. It may be a bit more difficult to make plans, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to.

As from above, I've probably made it very clear I am self-conscious. Before all this, there was a girl I liked. We talked whenever we could and I always enjoyed her company. But since the medical emergency, I haven't talked to her. I sent her a message over facebook to see if we could start talking more and maybe get her cell phone number so we could text. Sadly, it's been days, and I know she's been on facebook. This isn't the first time I've had issues with women, but I know it won't be the last. At least I have a close friend who just helps me through it. She says since I'm such a nice, hopeless romantic guy, that I'll eventually find someone.

More often than not a person not replying to a message isn't them ignoring you, but rather them getting distracted immediately after reading it, and forgetting to reply. This may not be what's happened here, but her ignoring you isn't something you should automatically decide is the case. Is there no way you can talk to her in person? At least then you'll have a better idea of where you stand with her, and you'll get a much more straight forward answer to hanging out together in the future. If this doesn't happen, or doesn't work out, don't stress over it. It happens, a lot, with everyone.

As for your issues with women, don't focus on this. More often than not these things happen between two people because one person simply isn't interested. That person not being interested, or feeling attracted to the other person isn't under their control. As your friend said, you'll find someone eventually. It'll happen when it happens. The sooner you accept that the sooner you'll be able to stop focusing on it, and just get out there and enjoy yourself. The quicker you're able to simply enjoy and be yourself, the more likely it is that you'll attract the right person for you. Until then, you just have to keep your chin up. It's not the sort of thing where if you keep trying, really hard, it'll eventually happen. It will simply happen when it happens. And sometimes, a lot more than we'd like, it happens, then simply doesn't work. It's life.

Here I am with a cavalcade of issues that may as well have an easy fix, and I'm asking for help, which I've never done before. I'm damn mess now.

After having spent so much time alone, I can understand your frustration with trying to get together with friends this summer, but it's important to avoid focusing on it too much. The more you focus on it, the more frustrated you'll feel about the situation. And as frustrating as I'm sure it is, know that this doesn't mean you're a mess. It simply means that you're eager to get back to where you were prior to your medical issues. Hopefully your friends will make an effort to spend some time with you, but if they don't even try, they weren't much of friends in the first place. Regardless, best of luck.

 

[Serenityrade]

How do you give advice on things like this without knowing the person?

I suggest figuring out what is so bad in you. In the recesses of the night you may make arguments that you have tried, but if you do nothing, you only acquire what others have given.

This must defeat you in time if no one wants you.

You have said you are many negative qualities. If you know you are cynical and filled with bitterness, have you no desire strong enough to eliminate this cynicism? Your lack of fame comes from lack of exposure, you tell me? Then expose yourself, and fear not pain so much as the failure of your wish.

You state you are broken by being so alone, that you wish for many friends.

I see an error in this.

If you have friends now, and they are merely pre-occupied, your only trouble is patience. If you think they are poor friends for the most, that they lacked loyal feeling, surely your lack of attractiveness and your neglect is a part of the cause.

Mend your inconfident nature, your impatience and your fear. These lead to the problems you have revealed. I cannot reply with respect to your situation itself, knowing you little, but wish you well in your sorrow, self-named 'free' thinker. ;o;

 

[ChuQue37]

You feel alone. Friends = not being alone. Therefore, to fix your problem, you need friends, right?

As I see it, confidence comes from two places. One is knowing you're the best.

The other is not giving a fuck.

One day, I decided to stop giving a fuck.

All of a sudden, I could talk to girls, meet new people, get out of trouble, and I was that sexy young beast who could accomplish anything.

And as it turns out, I made a bunch of friends. But I still feel alone.

Why?

Because I don't give a fuck.

You're always alone, brother.