I just need a good listener

[Raikov]

Heya all. Sorry if I'm confusing anyone with that title there, but at least I'm in the right forum, since I do not want any advice. Just someone to listen.

There is a girl I love. We met online in the MMO Aion roughly two years back, and we've still to meet IRL. Yeah, pathetic. Who cares.

Of course, we were just friends first. But it kinda evolved on to mutual love after some time. And the love have gone stronger ever since, and I'm actually scheduling to come and get her really soon.

Now, she have a heart disease. It makes her BPM really low, and she takes meds and eat a special diet for it.
Apparently, over the last few months, her heart have improved. By a lot. So, wednesday (yesterday) she went to the hospital to purge her system of the meds and try to function without them. I've been trying to comfort her for three days so she wouldn't be too scared.

Of course, things didn't went according to plan. As she were sedated wednesday evening, she had a cardiac arrest. The doctors pulled her through it though, and she woke up at 4 in the morning with a good, stable heart rate.

I was so happy.

Then the bad news came. She didn't recognize her mother or her best friend who was there. The doc said it would come back to her. And it did, at least most of it.

It has been about 8 hours since she started recognizing her friend and others around her properly. She have been eating well and seems to be doing great besides some fatigue.

What makes my heart brake is that she can't remember the last one and a half years, up to only a few weeks ago. There is so much that have happened in her life and between me and her emotionally during that time.

I was really scared last night. I cried tears of happiness when she called me. Because she promised to do that just before she went. But now I'm scared again. I haven't got slightest clue how the human mind works, but I am so scared that she doesn't remember the big changes she's had in her life.

Now I'm trying to comfort her. She didn't remember we've known eachother for about two years. And it hurts.

Again, this is just for my own sake. Thank you for bothering to read. Ask any questions, and I'll try answering them.

EDIT: I will try to keep this updated. Updates goes under here.

I just got off the phone with her. She wanted to go home, so she walked out of the hospital. Problem is, she don't remember that she moved, and doesn't even recognize the area around the hospital where she have been many times because of her heart condition. At least I managed to talk her into calling the friend at the hospital, so she is on her way home now.

And yes, she remembers that she really loves me. And that is what keeps me up right now.

She remembers more and more now. She have some headaches, no surprises there. It's funny to hear that she doesn't remember getting Cataclysm or the new layout of the screens, or that she even had a goblin tank, but she remembers how to play. I've no idea what she's talking about since I don't play WoW.

...and she called me her angel.



New day. She forgot about some things, like why she was at the hospital. And she forgot all about the WoW and PvP again. But we'll manage. I'll stay patient.

 

[Akytalusia]

well, about amnesia, most of the time it's temporary. just give it some time and there's a good chance things will start coming back.

 

[Biodeamon]

does she remember you at all? if she does try and just build around that and except that some moments between you will be fuzzy, better than losing everything right? and if she doesn't remember you that doesn't mean you shouldn't comfort her like a friend. who knows maybe you'll strike up a new friendship.

 

[steeple]

that's a pretty cool (and a bit sad) story...

are you sure the memmories wont come back to her, like they did about her family and friends? maybe in a few days/weeks/more-time-then-that the last 2 years will come back (probably as fragments first)..

 

[spartan231490]

The memories will likely come back in time, so just hang in there. If not, you can't change it. Go back to square one and hope that you get the same result this time around. maybe you will, maybe you won't, but that's life.

 

[Elysis]

Like the previous posts, I will say "Don't lose hope".
It must be a very sad and sucky situation, but hey, at least you didn't lose her altogether, right?

"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens"
Be strong!

 

[Raikov]

well, about amnesia, most of the time it's temporary. just give it some time and there's a good chance things will start coming back.

I sure hope so. With all my heart.

Just stick with her. If you really do care then just do what you can. Doesnt sound like she sees you as a stranger, just the majority or her memory of you is missing at the moment. So she must know what kind of person you are and what you mean to her. It sucks, but her not knowing isnt her fault nor did she do it on purpose to hurt you. So you just got to toughen up and put that hurt to one side for now. Her memory could come back. Maybe the past doesnt matter and she knows what you are based on how you look after her now....not two years ago when you where getting to know each other. Things will work out.

I know what you mean, and I try. I really try to put my own pain away. But it just hurts so much. That's why I even started this thread.

does she remember you at all? if she does try and just build around that and except that some moments between you will be fuzzy, better than losing everything right? and if she doesn't remember you that doesn't mean you shouldn't comfort her like a friend. who knows maybe you'll strike up a new friendship.

Yes, she remembers me, and that she loves me alot. She actually remembered me before she recognized her best friend.

that's a pretty cool (and a bit sad) story...

are you sure the memmories wont come back to her, like they did about her family and friends? maybe in a few days/weeks/more-time-then-that the last 2 years will come back (probably as fragments first)..

I know what you mean. It's like it's almost taken from a regular sitcom or something. And I'm not sure about the memories, since I don't know jack about brains. At least she says her memories are jumbled, and not everything is lost.


I thank you all for putting some energy into reading this. It means a lot to me.

 

[Kursura]

that's a pretty cool (and a bit sad) story...

are you sure the memmories wont come back to her, like they did about her family and friends? maybe in a few days/weeks/more-time-then-that the last 2 years will come back (probably as fragments first)..

Pretty much this, just give it time and things should get better. Good luck for the future.

 

[Timbydude]

As has been said already, amnesia is usually temporary, especially the kind you're talking about (where she can still form new memories, she just has trouble recalling old ones).

It can take anywhere from a few weeks to a year for her to regain all her memories, so just be patient.

And even on the unlikely chance that she doesn't get her memory back, she's still the same person you knew before, right? And you're still the same person that she got to know back then. All those moments weren't for nothing; after all, you definitely know her better now, right?

Even if she never recovers, just start over and it'll almost surely work out just the way it originally did.

 

[Raikov]

Like the previous posts, I will say "Don't lose hope".
It must be a very sad and sucky situation, but hey, at least you didn't lose her altogether, right?

"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens"
Be strong!

I get what you mean. And I'm still thrilled about her so far good working heart. And I'm usually not one to lose hope. Like ever. I am usually the one to keep others spirits up in bad times.

This time though, I guess even I need some help. Thank you for posting.

 

[Ddgafd]

That really sucks, hopefully her memory will come back soon. I do remember reading in a psychology book that some part in the brain holds some sort of "unacknowledged memories", so there's a chance that she might remember you somewhat. Of course I might just be talking out of my ass, so don't quote me on that, unless someone smarter can elaborate more on that.

 

[Raikov]

As has been said already, amnesia is usually temporary, especially the kind you're talking about (where she can still form new memories, she just has trouble recalling old ones).

It can take anywhere from a few weeks to a year for her to regain all her memories, so just be patient.

And even on the unlikely chance that she doesn't get her memory back, she's still the same person you knew before, right? And you're still the same person that she got to know back then. All those moments weren't for nothing; after all, you definitely know her better now, right?

Even if she never recovers, just start over and it'll almost surely work out just the way it originally did.

Thank you so much for the support.
But the bold text is what's bothering me. I know the parts of her she forgot. But she doesn't remember them yet, so I am afraid that a part of the person I love is gone, and then so is the 'me knowing her better'-part. I can't know those part, because they don't exist anymore.
If you know what I mean.
I have some trouble with the English right now, so I hope you understand.

 

[SckizoBoy]

does she remember you at all? if she does try and just build around that and except that some moments between you will be fuzzy, better than losing everything right? and if she doesn't remember you that doesn't mean you shouldn't comfort her like a friend. who knows maybe you'll strike up a new friendship.

Yes, she remembers me, and that she loves me alot. She actually remembered me before she recognized her best friend.

Firstly... whoa... I would not want to be in such a position.

However, she remembers that she loves you. That, for now, is a great thing, for both of you. For you, it means that you can do a lot of things for the first time again, relive how fun everything was/is, and the reason(s) why you fell in love with her in the first place. For her, you are part of the way she's going to regain her memories, because you can tell her what the two of you got up to, gaming, online conversations, skyping, e-mails exchanged and so on. And even if she does not, I'm sure she'd appreciate what you've done for her, and that may only strengthen your relationship (sure, corny, but fall in love round 2... as it were...).

*shrug* Good luck & *internet man hug*!

 

[jobu59749]

I know this might be the Jack-Ass comment on this thread, but we are not your emotional support group. Shitty situation, but perhaps you should blog about it somewhere other than an internet forum where no matter what you say....you'll get peoples advice and opinions. That's like going to the zoo to see the monkeys with the hope that they won't throw shit at you....they're still going to throw shit at you.

 

[King Toasty]

Wow. You're a brave man, and good luck. I'm happy for you that she seems to be OK.

 

[Secret world leader (shhh)]

Everything's going to be OK. Just hang in there and it'll all work out in the end. She'll get her memories back soon.

I'd suggest you go see her in person as soon as you can, let her know you're there for her.

Your story has evoked the most sympathy in me i've felt in a while.

But really though, go see her, walk or swim if you have to, do whatever it takes, we're with you bro.

 

[Amaria]

I know the parts of her she forgot. But she doesn't remember them yet, so I am afraid that a part of the person I love is gone, and then so is the 'me knowing her better'-part. I can't know those part, because they don't exist anymore.
If you know what I mean.

She's still herself, even if she doesn't remember it all. Those parts of her that you love DO still exist, she just doesn't know it. If you want to be really romantic, you can say you love her right now for everything that she is and will be, once she remembers.

The fact that she remembered you before her best friend speaks so much towards your relationship. Just... think about that, for a bit. After she forgot everything and everybody, she remembers you before some of her closest friends. Even if she doesn't remember some of the little things, she does get the important stuff, like how she loves you. Everything else will come back in time.

This is temporary, and it'll work out. 'It's always darkest right before the dawn' and everything, right?