I left you because......

[Barbas]

Because you have racist parents.

 

[Barbas]

Because your parents called me genetically inferior!

 

[Barbas]

Because they started it!

 

[Barbas]

The garden gnome wanted to see distant lands and interesting people. I carry things in my stomach. He will be returned...eventually...maybe.

 

[Barbas]

Spoiler: I left you because my toast was done.

 

[Zantos]

I left you because when I asked for a cuddle you told me finding a Tom Baker gif to post on the escapist was a better use of your time and effort.

 

[Barbas]

I left you because you don't appreciate the fine art of Baking.

 

[Barbas]

I left you because you ran out of panties.

 

[Barbas]

I left you because of your wild and baseless accusations. They were needed by Sheogorath; he was building a catapult to launch snowballs at Mephala's worshippers. They would have been returned when he was done, undamaged...more or less.

 

[Barbas]

I left you because you tried to eat the sun.

 

[Drummodino]

I left you because you want to eat the sun.

 

[Barbas]

I left you because you never went anywhere interesting. In fact, all you did was wander around in circles for hours at a time, giggling to yourself.

 

[Barbas]

I left you because your game of dildo cricket was somewhat lacking at best.

 

[Zantos]

I left you because it's still far too soon after the Ashes to make insensitive jokes about cricket.

 

[Barbas]

I left you because when you mention the "The Ashes", you are referring to the annual ritual wherein you go on an arson spree, torching every Australian pub in the city centre to the ground in an insane frenzy.

 

[Neuromancer]

You have been unfaithful, hound. I'll see you on my boat.

 

[Kae]

Because they have children with another person!

 

[Neuromancer]

Because you abandoned someone because they have children, despite the fact that they can't really support them themselves.

 

[Kae]

Because he expects me to care about people, what am I a person?

 

[Neuromancer]

Because I have a wife.