I need some opinions, do I have a serious problem? My parents are getting a little worried.

[sabotstarr]

If you want to change, go to a psychologist. If you are open with your parents, as you said than they should understand and be supportive.
Because if they are worried and you show you need help, they will do whatever they can to help.

link removed - nilcypher

One of the better sources of advice on the internet, I've found.

IGNORE THIS
it is a bad, bad place

Listen to this man.

I went there once...
Lets just say what has been seen cannot be unseen...

*shudders*

so, so true

 

[Solo Wing Pixy]

@demented teddy

There were so many reasons.....well I'm originally from California but moved to Texas when I was around 3rd grade. People from Texas apparently have a grudge against people from California so I was bullied for that. Also I'm not very good at sports like basketball or football and since I wasn't naturally gifted I was teased about that too. When I was in middle school (when things really got bad) a lot of boys and girls asked me how come I didn't have a girlfriend and I thought I was a bit young to do that I was 13-14 and they called me gay and pussy(please excuse my language but that's what they said). They would snatch away my game boy when I played it, snatch away the Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield books I read and would toss it around to each other forcing to be the monkey in the middle. Came high school I was made fun of mainly for being good at history (odd I know) and again the lack of dating experience I have and me always being quiet. I never went around telling people about myself they would sort of gang up on me and ask all kinds of embarrassing questions, I also stuttered a tiny bit too. That's to name a few things...(we moved back to California for the last of my senior year so really I just keep to myself now)

Those bastards!
I was picked on a bit too but not really as bad and as long as that.
Some people are just so mindless they get joy out of picking on people who are on their own and the fact they did it in a group just proves they are cowards!
Texas (I've heard) is full of intolorant and cruel people, I don't know why your family decided to move there but at least they moved back to California in the end but why did they take so long to move back if you were having such a horrible time there?

Well we moved initially because my dad found a better paying position in his job which was in Texas but around middle school he was laid off so he had to look for a new one. He eventually was hired by a translator firm that sent him all over the country before he was finally able to land a permanent office back in Los Angeles. It took a long time for it to pick up sadly. Mom and Dad did hope that eventually I'd fit in but really it started to be hopeless.

 

[DSEZ]

this is my advice to you:
the way i got over my shyness i found something i was good at in my case fighting and i started listening to heavy metal so i think thats what got me outta shyness

and confidence will come in time when you get away from shyness

for the video game problem keep yourself busy and youll find its easy to stay away from video games

for getting a girl
keep trying until you get one

 

[Gilhelmi]

Good morning/afternoon/evening everyone. I'm a new to this forum and I was wondering if you all could give me some feedback.

Um, well I'm a boy who just recently turned 23 and will soon graduate from my university in the spring. Up until this point I have no friends whatsoever at my university or do I even know anyone. The same applies to my at home life save one friend who I rarely see anymore. From elementary to high school I was teased and bullied by the other students (boys and girls, sometimes the girls were even worse)so I really have no friends from that time of life either. Because of all that (I mean you all no offense and I'm sure each of you have your numerous redeeming qualities) I'm very shy around people and pretty reclusive. I can open to my family just fine, especially my parents because I'm the youngest of four but as soon as someone I don't recognize comes to our house I'll retreat to my room.

I've never been involved with anyone ever, I've never even received so much as a kiss on the cheek from a girl outside my family. I admit I do get terribly lonely from time to time and yearn for female affection but I'm so apprehensive around them I can't muster the courage to court one it really does kind of scare me. My video games which are my greatest joy in life have helped me quite a great deal and I would never give them up, I play at least ten hours a day the only time I break is for when I exercise for an hour or to eat or go to school. I mention that in case some wonder what I do in all my spare time to give better clarification.

Well I don't want to wear your eyes down with anymore text but honestly I don't want to worry my parents anymore because they're scared of how I'm going to go on when the two of them pass away (which is still aways off it looks like thankfully). But I honestly feel as if I've given people too many chances (elementary to high school) and all they done is hurt me so........

Well what do you all think of all this? I'm sorry if you find this very depressing, I'm not trying to upset anyone. Any feedback is appreciated and if there is some confusion about somethings you are welcome to ask since there might have been some details I left out.

I am the same way I have to force myself into socializing with people. Ive taken up Texas-holdem. My only close friends are in the US Army. If all else fails join the military but remember that you still need to talk to people around you this is particularly hard sometimes. I do not know what else to tell ya I am 26 and never been on a date I just recently started getting real friends that I can count on. Also try a dating website like E-harmony or match.com I heard they work sometimes. Good luck

 

[DarkRyter]

It's not too serious, but go get some help, just in case.

 

[True Nero]

this really isn't something you should be asking random people about online.

 

[Qujibo]

Wow. I see myself in your shoes at 23. =C What to do? Well, I have a plan. Quit gaming, and just force yourself to learn to talk to people, whether or not you want to, because it is important. Now I can see myself in your shoes, but I think I'm a little better off. The key is to find someone outgoing (but not too outgoing) but someone to supplement your shyness, and I think you'll go far. Now, maybe you don't need to quit gaming entirely, but I always have noticed that gaming sort of turns you into 'that guy who stays in his room', so maybe you should try and at least game less. Hope that helps!

But on a lighter note, I myself don't think you have a problem, because it's normal for someone to be shy..

 

[xXErasmusXx]

I would recommend finding a job.

Most jobs involve interacting with at least several people, which should help ease you into society. Since you will also be sharing common experiences with your co-workers, you should be able to easily make small talk about the job, even if it's mostly complaining about the work itself. As long as you are generally nice, and don't talk about others behind their back, you should get on quite well.

Plus, you'll be earning money. May even meet a girl, but I wouldn't recommend dating a co-worker.

 

[chronobreak]

Welcome to the Escapist. It is safer here. Is there something "wrong" with you? Are you autistic, or having a hard time with social situations, or would you maybe say there is something deeper? If so, feel free to PM me, as you made a nice first impression around here and semm like a good dude. I've dealt with crap before, maybe I could help.

 

[Sub_par]

sounds like classic schizoid (might be thinking of schizotypal, i get the two confused frequently) personality disorder, didn't spend too much time covering it in any of my psych classes in hs or college but it has several of the hallmarks I remember from it.

different from schizophrenia before anyone asks, it isn't psychotic its a personality disorder thats main attribute is no desire for any form of personal or emotional attachment save ones nuclear family.

 

[Frankydee]

man that sucks dude. I was sort of in the same boat for the majority of my life. For me though, it wasn't so much that I didn't open up to people over shyness but rather I just didn't care. I get along with people just fine it just takes awhile to get much of a conversation out of me.

The psychologist suggestion is probably your best bet here. Knowing me though, I'm a bit of a hardass and would've dragged your ass to the nearest bar and bought you a few drinks until you've lost all sense of reclusiveness.

But my advice is just get out more, walk around, nod and smile at people you pass by. You may just meet some interesting individuals.

 

[Solo Wing Pixy]

youve allowed video games to control your view upon the world, allowing them to become your escape from your fear of intimacy.
the world is a hard place to live in, people who are different will be quickly rideculed in order for another to gain social status
it will be hard to overcome your fear, it will be an easier soloution to just recline into a world where everything is laid out for you; simple and perfect.
you must try to talk to someone though, try to ween yourself off of the video games(you can play the once in a while, but they should never be a distraction from life, merely a way to pass time and bordom.)
try something simple, such as talking to your neibor or something, "whats new" is usually the best conversation starter.

I would like to help you more, but unfortunatly I cannot.
I used to be like you, but I was able to make friends in high school.
it doesnt matter if you have alot of friends, provided youve got at least one or two good friends.
and if people ask what you do in your spare time, for the love of the COSMOS dont say "I play video games all day"
also you cant just be confident you have to look the part too,

its complicated but youll figure it out through trial/error.
and when your asking a girl for a date, make sure of a few things first(not by asking her of course)
make sure she,
isnt already dating somone,
isnt WAY out of yor legue(1 or 2 steps at most)
is at least somwat interested in dating you(be careful not to mistake "date" with "friend", everyones done that)

im not a psychologist, far from it(im only 16...) but ill try to help if i can, ive been through a similar situation.
ask if you want my help.
also, these should be guidlines, not actual rules.

ill help if you answer me one question.
how did you create your account a day after youve posted a thread?
thats kinda wierd, but cool.

I did??? I just registered my account and then started my thread here. It might have to do with the time zones, isn't the escapist an Australian site? Me being in California and the site (I think) being Australian based is why. Sorry....it isn't that cool after all, huh?

 

[Mechanix]

First off, make yourself look nice, shave, brush your teeth, whatever.

At your new job, appear nice and happy. If you look scary people won't talk to you. To be honest you really just need confidence to talk to people. No matter how much I or anyone else sugar coats it, it comes down to "you need to talk to someone, whether you like it or not". That's it.

Go do it.

 

[zenoaugustus]

I too was shy for a good portion of my younger life. But I think something that really helped was just making one close friend. Someone who had common interests. Eventually he introduced me to others and they introduce me to others and the chain continued.

My best advice for you is to try to find one person whom you can relate to and vice versa. I know it is very hard. And you seem like a nice enough guy, show it. I started looking friendly and approachable, and people tend to be drawn to me now just because of my openness and friendliness. So yeah, just smile at others you may walk by. Give a little "Hi, how's your day?" or just a friendly nod. That might help too.

You can get through this, believe in yourself.

 

[Skootle13]

@ internet kraken, miki91, paradoxBG

mom and dad actually have put the idea of seeing an on campus counselor (at the psychology department) the actual psychologist I'm afraid is out of our price range we had a thrifty christmas.

Use the campus counselor, if you have one. I don't think it can hurt any, and it might even help ;3