No, seriously. I am sitting here, at 4:22AM, awake. I wake up at 6:00AM every weekday.
I like the night, and rarely sleep, because it's the only time I have to myself.
Tomorrow I will be pre-disposed all morning, and come home just in time to eat, then I'm off to work until 11PM. My weekends, I spend at work, nine or more hours of the day.
I can't stop thinking of my ex fiance who left me, either. She left without a word about a year and a half ago, assuring me up to the day she left that she loved me and she'd be back. It was originally supposed to be a temporary thing, but she never did come back. I'm still, in the deepest parts of my mind, "Waiting" for her. It's not healthy. It's not right. It makes me depressed just thinking about it. At work I almost broke down because I couldn't get her out of my head.
Now tomorrow, and for the next week, I'll be going through the same cycle. Wake up. "School". Home. Work. Stay up all night because the idea that you have to do the same thing tomorrow terrifies you. Sleep, eventually, for 2-4 hours. Wake up. Rinse and repeat...
I hate it. I've lived like this for far too long. My fiance made it bearable, but since then... I don't have any more friends, aside from ones I talk to about games we play. Exclusively ABOUT the games we play.
I need something to distract myself. If I'm left to myself, I'm not sure what might happen.
Anything good to occupy my mind?
I like the night, and rarely sleep, because it's the only time I have to myself.
Tomorrow I will be pre-disposed all morning, and come home just in time to eat, then I'm off to work until 11PM. My weekends, I spend at work, nine or more hours of the day.
I can't stop thinking of my ex fiance who left me, either. She left without a word about a year and a half ago, assuring me up to the day she left that she loved me and she'd be back. It was originally supposed to be a temporary thing, but she never did come back. I'm still, in the deepest parts of my mind, "Waiting" for her. It's not healthy. It's not right. It makes me depressed just thinking about it. At work I almost broke down because I couldn't get her out of my head.
Now tomorrow, and for the next week, I'll be going through the same cycle. Wake up. "School". Home. Work. Stay up all night because the idea that you have to do the same thing tomorrow terrifies you. Sleep, eventually, for 2-4 hours. Wake up. Rinse and repeat...
I hate it. I've lived like this for far too long. My fiance made it bearable, but since then... I don't have any more friends, aside from ones I talk to about games we play. Exclusively ABOUT the games we play.
I need something to distract myself. If I'm left to myself, I'm not sure what might happen.
Anything good to occupy my mind?