I not understand you...i no speak engliz

[Kuchinawa212]

Sometimes when I get a telemarketer
Si? Oh, No Hablo English. Adios
I've gotten pretty good at it

 

[Quick Ben]

I usually just say "not interested," or something like that, but I did pull a "no comprendo" when I was on a class trip in Berlin earlier this year. It was in a street full of these really insisting people, and when the fifth one tried I was so sick of "sorry" and "not interested" etc. that I just said the first thing that came to my mind. Worked pretty well...

 

[saxist01]

I had a telemarketer call to offer me a visa once. So I threw on an Indian accent and started asking him what was wrong with my work visa, and not to report me to the authorities for deportation. Then I started rambling in an accent about how I came from poverty in New Dehli, and escaped here to America in order to send money back to my 12 kids still living back home. I then hung up after swearing to him that I would go get my green card as soon as got off the phone. At no point during this was he able to say anything beyond, "No, that's not what I mean."

 

[CptPanda29]

Avoid eye contact walk past (generally walk fast anyway) and pretend I'm in a rush.

 

[0z0wen]

I just either blank them or say 'Parlez vous francais?' which roughly translates into 'Do you speak french?' that usually shuts them up.