I swear I could have just died!

[The Funslinger]

I always suck at remembering things like this! DX

Here's a decent one:

When I kissed my current girlfriend for the first time I panicked and said, "Uh... sorry."

She asked me why I was sorry and I said, "I don't know... Can I do it again?"

FML

D'AAAAAAWWWWWWWW

That's adorable.

I have one in a similar vein about my ex girlfriend.

When she first came over to my house, she was wearing a fairly cleavage revealing tank top.

Now, I'm the gentlemanly sort, but for some reason I was a bit nervous in that relationship. This tended to be a combination that led to me being completely retarded. So we're putting on our shoes to go and see my labrador, and I'm sat on the porch step. She stands in front of me and bends down to tie her shoes, thus giving me a fairly awesome view of 'the ladies'. My immediate reaction is to put a hand up and say something to the effect of 'got a bit of an accidental shot there'.

Realized as I said it how dumb I was being. Attempted to save it with a somewhat successful 'nice, though'.

 

[Quaxar]

I actually can't remember a single instance I was really embarrassed... weird.

snips

Didn't know there was a Daystar button now but I must have slipped and clicked it.

 

[Macgyvercas]

Well, when I first asked my girlfriend out (after about 2 months of just hanging out every Friday), I was so nervous and didn't know what she would say, despite everyone telling me just go for it.

Me: So, I was wondering. Would...Would you like to go out with me?
Her: Yes.
Me: Wait, really?

 

[Alex909]

This was in front of my friends so it wasn't nearly as bad. In a resteraunt I needed the bathroom so I asked a waiter behind me who was putting a coat on the coat hangar:
"Excuse me, can you tell me where the toilets are?"
"Sorry mate, I don't know. I don't work here"
Turns out said waiter... was not a waiter. My friend opposite me was laughing solidly for about 5 minutes.

 

[savandicus]

Walking down the street trying to read the pricing and opening times of the all you can eat chinese buffet on the other side of the road and BAM walked straight into a pole. Not my finest moment...

 

[Blunderboy]

EDIT: OH SHIT! The bellow post reminded me of a really embarrassing one! D:

I was supposed to give a presentation about satirical news coverage for a journalism class a few years ago when I clicked on the wrong file on my flashdrive. Instead of bringing up a power point it brought up a crude MS paint picture of my friend Jack (real picture) being jizzed on by an enormous, smiling draenei penis. There was a caption at the bottom that said "SHAM-WOW"!

The whole class burst into laughter and I played it off the best I could by closing the file saying, "And that was the wrong file."

Took me until halfway through the presentation to shake off the shock of it. Oh god. This memory is awful D:

Should've made some sort of pun about it being a representation of Fox News or something.

I hate to be picky, but that's not a pun. There's no word play there.

 

[shrekfan246]

EDIT: OH SHIT! The bellow post reminded me of a really embarrassing one! D:

I was supposed to give a presentation about satirical news coverage for a journalism class a few years ago when I clicked on the wrong file on my flashdrive. Instead of bringing up a power point it brought up a crude MS paint picture of my friend Jack (real picture) being jizzed on by an enormous, smiling draenei penis. There was a caption at the bottom that said "SHAM-WOW"!

The whole class burst into laughter and I played it off the best I could by closing the file saying, "And that was the wrong file."

Took me until halfway through the presentation to shake off the shock of it. Oh god. This memory is awful D:

Should've made some sort of pun about it being a representation of Fox News or something.

I hate to be picky, but that's not a pun. There's no word play there.

Well, not yet. I didn't say I was going to make a pun, I was saying he should've made a pun at the expense of Fox News.

 

[beyondbrainmatter]

"Blushing is the color of virtue."

- Diogenes of Sinope

 

[Blunderboy]

EDIT: OH SHIT! The bellow post reminded me of a really embarrassing one! D:

I was supposed to give a presentation about satirical news coverage for a journalism class a few years ago when I clicked on the wrong file on my flashdrive. Instead of bringing up a power point it brought up a crude MS paint picture of my friend Jack (real picture) being jizzed on by an enormous, smiling draenei penis. There was a caption at the bottom that said "SHAM-WOW"!

The whole class burst into laughter and I played it off the best I could by closing the file saying, "And that was the wrong file."

Took me until halfway through the presentation to shake off the shock of it. Oh god. This memory is awful D:

Should've made some sort of pun about it being a representation of Fox News or something.

I hate to be picky, but that's not a pun. There's no word play there.

Well, not yet. I didn't say I was going to make a pun, I was saying he should've made a pun at the expense of Fox News.

D'oh!
I misread that. I blame being off my face on Man-Flu.
But still that was punforgivable of me.

 

[Phasmal]

Hmm, I spend most of my time paranoid about embarrassing myself so I kind of obsess over every way I possibly could and so I tend not to.

Though a few months ago I fell over in public and cut my hand. That wasn't great but there weren't really many people around. I fall over a lot.

 

[shrekfan246]

EDIT: OH SHIT! The bellow post reminded me of a really embarrassing one! D:

I was supposed to give a presentation about satirical news coverage for a journalism class a few years ago when I clicked on the wrong file on my flashdrive. Instead of bringing up a power point it brought up a crude MS paint picture of my friend Jack (real picture) being jizzed on by an enormous, smiling draenei penis. There was a caption at the bottom that said "SHAM-WOW"!

The whole class burst into laughter and I played it off the best I could by closing the file saying, "And that was the wrong file."

Took me until halfway through the presentation to shake off the shock of it. Oh god. This memory is awful D:

Should've made some sort of pun about it being a representation of Fox News or something.

I hate to be picky, but that's not a pun. There's no word play there.

Well, not yet. I didn't say I was going to make a pun, I was saying he should've made a pun at the expense of Fox News.

D'oh!
I misread that. I blame being off my face on Man-Flu.
But still that was punforgivable of me.

It's okay. We know why you're called Blunderboy.



[sub]Let me just get my coat...[/sub]

 

[ECasThat]

In the last 2 years of my high school I was working in a store call "sexshop" which if you couldn't guess sells "funny" toys. Funny when a classmate buys something. Not so funny when family members do.

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

I'm not one to feel this kind of petty embarrassment you mortals do but I did cause it a couple of times, one such memorable instance was me running up to an older friend with the phrase "The Digimon movie was pretty amazing, huh?" as he was talking to a few girls who I didn't notice being there. I was apparently loud with it too and I think I may have said his name too, in any case he didn't seem too pleased.


He was a senior and I a junior in HS.

 

[Beat14]

You guys are making me feel boring... Hopefully something will pop up.(almost made a bad joke about something popping up and embarrassment)

 

[twistedmic]

Once when I was playing little league baseball (I was eight or nine at the time) I got tagged or thrown out trying to make it to third. As soon as I was called out I heard my grandma call out nice and loud, so that everyone on the field could hear it, "That's okay, Sweetie."
I was incredibly embarrassed as I went back into the dugout and was very thankful that my team had at one more out left so I didn't have to go right back out onto the field.

 

[Nantucket_v1legacy]

Just thought of another...

I sat in the wrong seat during a Snooker match. It was unoccupied for about four frames. The woman came back and when I got up and tried to climb into my seat in front I farted.

The woman made a big deal and I died inside.

 

[saoirse13]

This slightly disguisting but when i was 4th year in high school (15 years old) i think i felt really sick sitting in my english class, suddenly i thought i was going to throw up so asked the teach of i could be excused to go to the toilet, he refused and told me to sit down and stop complaining... all of a sudden my friend turned to me and said that i had turned green and looked terrible before i could even reply i vomited everywhere, all over the books and desk and over my friends shoes. everyoe just jumped up and started screaming and ran out of the class leaving me in mid spew... i swear i nealy died after i stopped as my teacher turn and said to me that i had clean everything before i could go to the toilet to clean myself up. i wanted the ground to swollow me up. didnt live it down for quite a few months.

 

[DanielBrown]

Got a both embarassing and real close to death thing! Not the most embarassing, probably, but it's the best I can remember while being so damn tired.
Anyways, we were doing some lab experiments in school and worked with highly flammable liquids. The teachers warned us not to go near the plastic containers with the matches we were using. Two guys in class, who were fucking retards, decided to play with fire(get it?!) because they were so cool and accidently lit the opening on the container on fire. I was standing nearby(we might've been in the same group) and saw this.

My heroic instincts caused me to flee out of the room as fast as I could. The teacher threw herself over some tables with a wet cloth to put the fire out. Didn't feel so good when I poked my head back in the room to see what happened, though I'm pretty sure I would've killed us all if I had attempted to put out the fire. Bet I would've blown on it.

Everyone stared at me. If my memory serves the idiots who put it on fire tried to blame it on me.

 

[Generic4me]

When I was about 14 years old, me and a couple other kids were sitting around the school's bonfire. For some incredibly stupid reason, we decided it would be cool to get dizzy and try to jump over the campfire. As I was getting dizzy, I accidentally got too close to everybody and decked a girl in the face. She passed out for a second, and I freaked because I noticed my hand had blood on it, but she got up and said she was fine.

It turned out the blood was from my hand. I didn't even break her skin. She laughed it off and said she didn't hate me, and was really cool about it. But I still 360 punched a girl in the face.