I think my boyfriend is developing a WoW addiction?

[oplinger]

4 to 5 hours a day is boarderline problem by its self thats 28-35 hours a week and if thats all thats on his mind thats a problem.

...4-5 hours a day is not a problem. that'd still give me 5 hours of absolute free time a day.

..If all he thinks about is playing WoW, then yeah that's a problem. Not the time spent playing, he could literally...not have anything better to do.

Also i'd like to point out video games are not a physical addiction, you don't have to wane him off of them, you can quit cold turkey and it won't be like trying to stop smoking, or kicking a heroin addiction.

What you will have to do, is occupy the time that you've just freed up. Or he'll go right back to what he always does to entertain himself. SO fill the void with something else...that...he ...could find fun. >.> I don't know him, so I can't suggest anything, I got into animation, and video editing. (Mostly because of, and involving games)

You'll find something, but don't treat him like a drug addict.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

It sounds like there is something else going on here. As someone who once had something of an addiction to WoW, I can tell you that the game itself is not so much the addictive quality as it is a place where a person who has emptiness in their life can fill a void. In other words, he is missing something in his life that he is not getting in another way. The game itself, or any other game for that matter, is not the real problem here. There is something deeper within him that leads him to find solace and comfort within an online gaming world.

Quoted for truth. I had the same issue myself after a rather nasty break up.

(Sort of unrelated.)
And I strongly dislike it when people call it an addiction, I have a caffeine addiction because caffeine is an addictive chemical, WoW is niether.

 

[Imp Poster]

If you have your boobs out and he says "wait a minute let me finish this quest" then you have a problem.

Nice...

It doesn't hurt to try does it? Make sure to do it while he's doing an instance or raiding though

Even though there was a suspension related to this joke, I would point out that this exact method was used to demonstrate the presence of MMO addiction in Mac Hall (the character refused sex in order to finish a quest), and as the solution to MMO addiction in Ctrl-Alt-Del (Ethan is hypnotized by his girlfriend's breasts and she uses that to break the addiction). So, while the comment was inappropriate, it does have foundations within two (and probably more) relatively popular comics that appeal to a similar demographic as The Escapist.

No, it doesn't. Mostly likely guys will think that they can "have it" later just like if she did that if he was watching his favorite sports team playing on the telly. Plus if she does that more than once, but not do it when he wants to later, it becomes an arguement. That she is doing it to interrupt his game play and not because she "really" wants to do it.

 

[Zeetchmen]

Withhold sex and any and all other sorts of toching and etc until he stops

Easy peasy, any man knows sex > games

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

If you have your boobs out and he says "wait a minute let me finish this quest" then you have a problem.

Nice...

It doesn't hurt to try does it? Make sure to do it while he's doing an instance or raiding though

Even though there was a suspension related to this joke, I would point out that this exact method was used to demonstrate the presence of MMO addiction in Mac Hall (the character refused sex in order to finish a quest), and as the solution to MMO addiction in Ctrl-Alt-Del (Ethan is hypnotized by his girlfriend's breasts and she uses that to break the addiction). So, while the comment was inappropriate, it does have foundations within two (and probably more) relatively popular comics that appeal to a similar demographic as The Escapist.

No, it doesn't. Mostly likely guys will think that they can "have it" later just like if she did that if he was watching his favorite sports team playing on the telly. Plus if she does that more than once, but not do it when he wants to later, it becomes an arguement. That she is doing it to interrupt his game play and not because she "really" wants to do it.

I'm not quite sure I understand how this is related to my post, as I was referring to two different fictional circumstances where nudity or sex was used to demonstrate the existence of an MMO addiction or break an MMO addiction that have occurred in media popular with he sort of people who might visit the Escapist.

 

[Imp Poster]

If you have your boobs out and he says "wait a minute let me finish this quest" then you have a problem.

Nice...

It doesn't hurt to try does it? Make sure to do it while he's doing an instance or raiding though

Even though there was a suspension related to this joke, I would point out that this exact method was used to demonstrate the presence of MMO addiction in Mac Hall (the character refused sex in order to finish a quest), and as the solution to MMO addiction in Ctrl-Alt-Del (Ethan is hypnotized by his girlfriend's breasts and she uses that to break the addiction). So, while the comment was inappropriate, it does have foundations within two (and probably more) relatively popular comics that appeal to a similar demographic as The Escapist.

No, it doesn't. Mostly likely guys will think that they can "have it" later just like if she did that if he was watching his favorite sports team playing on the telly. Plus if she does that more than once, but not do it when he wants to later, it becomes an arguement. That she is doing it to interrupt his game play and not because she "really" wants to do it.

I'm not quite sure I understand how this is related to my post, as I was referring to two different fictional circumstances where nudity or sex was used to demonstrate the existence of an MMO addiction or break an MMO addiction that have occurred in media popular with he sort of people who might visit the Escapist.

Yeah, I am saying that I don't think sex/nudity as a good "placebo" to see whether or not someone is addicted to MMOs. Because of all the effects or non effects that comes with it in a relationship. But not really picking on you per se. Your post just happened to be the last one quoting people that were saying it. Sorry, I am lazy.

 

[BoogieManFL]

Have you thought about trying to join him, something you can share together?

 

[TheBaron87]

( dont see how it took that long since the game only involves clicking things)

Here's half the problem with game addictions like this. If this were the case why don't we hear about more minesweeper addictions? Not to mention how condescending this is, I'd rather be single than with someone that trivialized what they don't understand.

That aside, like people said it's not the game that's addicting, it's a combination of the social element and personal issues. No game is ever going to addict a well-adjusted person, the people who become addicted are just projecting their own fantasies into the game and using it as wish-fulfillment, and if they can't find a way to get that for real then the problem starts. Punishing them or creating ultimatums will only make reality worse and drive them to escape into their fantasy more. You need to be supportive and find a way to make reality the more attractive option.

 

[Marowit]

Have you tried playing the game with him?

I mean, if you are interested in the relationship working, but you are making posts like this behind his back calling him an addict and stuff it seems like you're immediately undermining your relationship (and respect for his ability to make choices).

I know my girlfriend and I both like to play games, but we like different games. She likes games like Fable, Boarderlands, etc..., and I prefer WoW, L4D, Torchlight (pc games where as she like more console stuff).

What we figured out that works really well is that I set up my computer in the same room, facing the TV so we can chat and game together. It works really really well. This way we can be the geeks we inherently are, but we're not isolating ourselves from each other. Also, I don't know how old you are so this might be an irrelevant suggestion (as you might not live together). Another thing that works well is cooking together - that's a 1-2 hour chunk of time every evening that we set aside to do stuff together and eat together.

As to the broader topic of game-addiction I don't think there is such a thing. It's just a nice stereotyping-label people apply to people who spend too much time playing MMOs (notice people who play Fallout or Oblivion, or CoD, etc... for hours on end rarely if ever are called addicts - at least so far as I can tell via numerous threads on forums). If someone neglects their life for an MMO, without the MMO they'd be neglecting their life in some other way. The game is just their current interest. Also, as the article on this site a few months back pointed out how many drug addicts get bored and give up their drugs? You'd be hard pressed to find any drug addicts who could say they got bored of their heroin and decided to stop...where as gamers do it all the time. /shrug just my personal feelings on the subject.

 

[mmographer]

Dress like a night elf. That should work.

 

[Necromancer1991]

You need top be a bit more forceful than "would you mind stopping for a second", I'm not saying you should threaten the guy, you just need to be a bit more persuasive.

 

[veloper]

It sounds like there is something else going on here. As someone who once had something of an addiction to WoW, I can tell you that the game itself is not so much the addictive quality as it is a place where a person who has emptiness in their life can fill a void. In other words, he is missing something in his life that he is not getting in another way. The game itself, or any other game for that matter, is not the real problem here. There is something deeper within him that leads him to find solace and comfort within an online gaming world.

Quoted for truth. I had the same issue myself after a rather nasty break up.

(Sort of unrelated.)
And I strongly dislike it when people call it an addiction, I have a caffeine addiction because caffeine is an addictive chemical, WoW is niether.

Seconded.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Don't say "It's either WoW or me.". WoW wins.

Set up a survelliance system to see how long he plays, let it go for a week, and see the time played.

Show it to him, and if you're right then he has a problem, and you should speak to him about it. If he refuses to even try, then forget him.

 

[digitalarcane667]

WoW is addicting only if you have good friends to play it and/or a personality that suits addiction.

The game is fun at first, there's unique stories for each race and class combo, but then after a while all the quests and classes start running together and it becomes monotonous. Then, when you hit the end of the game, it becomes a grindfest. Fun at first for exploring all the dungeons, and getting the shiny lewt, then the grind sets in. It becomes a job. A job in which you're forced in to working with assholes who think they're better than you because they've dedicated more time to the grind to get gear with a slightly higher gear score to do slightly more damage than you do.

Long story short: Voice your concerns. Give it time. Either he'll become addicted and you can dump his sorry ass or he'll see the grind for what it's worth and come back to reality.

I play the game, I have two level 80s. I have a friend that plays the game on occasion. I also have a job, a girlfriend, work to do, bills to pay and a 3rd anniversary to celebrate, multiple other consoles and games to play and plenty more things to devote my time to.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Suck each others dicks a little, maybe that will clear things up

Seriously? You really just put that as a comment? *sigh*

El Poncho pretty much hit it on the head. I wouldn't bother with someone like that in the first place anyways. Doesn't seem worth the hassle, but I suppose its better than a drug addiction...

 

[Madkipz]

If you want a more tightly knit relationship with your boyfriend you are either going to get interested in the games he plays or this will always be an issue. Why? because world of warcraft is more akin to your boyfriend investing time in a sport or fishing.


IT COULD LITERALLY BE ANY TIME CONSUMING HOBBY IN THE WORLD AND THE RESULT WOULD BE THE SAME AS IF HE WAS PLAYING WORLD OF WARCRAFT.

THis is not about you or him, this is about two individuals that intend to live together but have conflicting interests.

Talk to him about it, not the escapist.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

wow has a parental system (although it might turn off after a certain age), you can limit how much he plays if you can get into his battle.net account....if you want to take that route.

If he has a history, you should be concerned, you'll be better off talking to him about it, and your concerns about it, and what happens if he becomes addicted and wont stop playing it. Addiction to games and WOW's reputation are the two reason I don't play it.

but I'm sure he has the password for his battlenet account, and he'd just change it after a while.

 

[Wolfram23]

4 to 5 hours a day is boarderline problem by its self thats 28-35 hours a week and if thats all thats on his mind thats a problem.

...4-5 hours a day is not a problem. that'd still give me 5 hours of absolute free time a day.

..If all he thinks about is playing WoW, then yeah that's a problem. Not the time spent playing, he could literally...not have anything better to do.

Also i'd like to point out video games are not a physical addiction, you don't have to wane him off of them, you can quit cold turkey and it won't be like trying to stop smoking, or kicking a heroin addiction.

What you will have to do, is occupy the time that you've just freed up. Or he'll go right back to what he always does to entertain himself. SO fill the void with something else...that...he ...could find fun. >.> I don't know him, so I can't suggest anything, I got into animation, and video editing. (Mostly because of, and involving games)

You'll find something, but don't treat him like a drug addict.

You know that having 10 hours of free time a day is not normal, right? I am among the majority of people who hold jobs. At work 9 hours a day, plus driving time, leaves me at most 5.5 hours of time at home to relax, make dinner, shower, and on some days take care of business like grocery shopping. My only real point is that 4-5 hours a day playing WoW can be in some cases a drop in the bucket and in others it's the entirety of the person's free time which clearly is a bad thing.

Also, the mind can become addicted to things like games. Or gambling. Or sex. These are activities which cause an addiction due to stimulation releasing, among other things, dopamine. So it's a dopamine addiction (in some cases). Which means, without it, you do suffer withdrawal, namely a type of mild depression. That said, I think cold turkey is still the best method to get off.

 

[webzu]

Looked everywhere for a gaming addiction forum and they don't seem to exist, so you guys are my last hope
My boyfriend's had a gaming addiction in the past, his family have told me he used to spend around 18hrs a day gaming, I tolerate him playing games for a couple of hours a day otherwise he literally gets withdrawal symptoms.
When he bought WoW I was worried because I'd heard about it being extremely addictive and it turns out I was right to be worried I would say he spends 4-5, a day, sometimes more, playing WoW and when he's not playing it he just goes on about how much he wants to play.
I know 4-5 hours isn't anything too serious yet but he does have a past history of game addiction, so am I over reacting or not? If not what do I do?
Any response greatly appreciated

Well, I suppose you could seriously talk to him or if that doesn't work I recommend the parental system, I met a guy once online who's girlfriend had put that system on and at first he had been kinda pissed off but after a while he was really grateful and just loved her for pressuring him ino using parental ctrl and it even helped him get wow-playing under control going from 7-9h min per day down to 2-4 max a day even though the control system allowed him to play for almost 5 hours each day he just didn't feel the same urge anymore. So I hope it works out with you two whatever way you use to help him stabilize his wow addiction down to a simple interest, like the one I personally have. But ofc if all this DOESN'T work... Then I think you should remember that there are always more fish in the sea, if he isn't willing to reduce his playing for you then he doesn't deserve your attention :/