You've never really thought of yourself as a "fighter," and even to say it now it sounds hokey, but looking back on the past few months to where you are now it really does feel like you've endured an immense struggle, and you look at where you are now with a sense of something that isn't quite pride.
You still hate your job and find it unpleasant, but you're surprised to find that going into work every day is no longer a monumental challenge; you've started adopting some clever techniques, like taking short 2-minutes breaks every hour to break up the monotony, and you now view your job as just 8 short hours of your day, a compartmentalization technique Dr. Melville told you about that you've found actually works quite well. You know this job isn't what you want to do for the rest of your life, and you've started actively looking for other positions, even attending a couple of preliminary interviews.
You've started making effort to go out with your friends more. While the social scene still makes you very uncomfortable sometimes, you're more and more able to let yourself just enjoy the company of your friends. In fact, your relationship with many of them has increased over the past little while. You still definitely have days where you flake out or don't feel up to hanging out, but for the most part your friends are understanding and appreciate your communication.
By far the biggest change you've noticed in your life has been in your relationship with Alex. You were terrified of talking to her about everything at first, but looking back you feel like it's only strengthened your relationship.She was always supportive of you emotionally, but lately the two of you have been even more in sync, and it's really starting to feel like you're building a life together. It even seems like the two of you have been making a more concerted effort to sync up your schedules, and have been spending more and more of your down time with each other; pretty soon you think moving in together may be a very real possibility.
Dr. Melville has commented on how well you seem to be doing, and you can't help but agree.
With all that seems to have improved recently, it's sometimes difficult for you to think about the fact that you still have bad days - sometimes even really bad days. They serve as a stark reminder of the fact that this will be something you likely have to deal with for the rest of your life. Depression is a battle, and though you're certainly ahead in the fight, you know the battle isn't ever going to be over. Sometimes even Alex can tell when things are going rough, despite your best efforts to the contrary.
While you know that your depression can never be "cured," you have a very strong support network in your friends and even Malcolm, and armed with a newfound confidence in your friends and family, you accept that though the road may be rocky, it is at very least not solitary.
You meet your mom's gaze from across the table and muster up a smile.
"I'm good, mom, you tell her.
She says nothing, but you can feel her smile from across the room.
