I want to date my best friend

[idon'tknowaboutthat]

Hah, don't do what I did and mention how much she means to you/how crazy about her you are. I told a friend (just friends - I wasn't 'into' her) how much I cared about her after we had a bit of a fight, and now she won't talk to me at all. Just do what Ham Authority said. He must be, like, an expert or something.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Just act casual about it, do not go overboard in confessing your feelings. I've seen many girls scared off by this, including myself a couple of times. Maybe just ask her out on a date, specifying it's a date or something along those lines.

DO NOT launch into a rant about how much you love her.

Other than that, good luck!

 

[sam42ification]

There is an amazing girl who I've befriended and we seem to be hitting it off pretty well.
The problem is, I'm crazy about her and she's hard to read, so I'm just going to risk it all and tell her how I feel.
But, my escapist friends, I need your help. I am not a confident person, and I need some courage and advice. What do I say to this girl, what's a good way to tell her that I may very well have fallen in love with her without scaring her off or ruining our friendship if she doesn't feel the same way?

Just say 'I would like to be more than freinds if you feel the same' if she says no then you can say somthing like 'Thats alright we can still be freinds'. Just say it in a silence you don't want to say anything if you're having a really good conversation wait intill your conversation is silent and your trying to think of somthing to say because that you won't ruin a conversation.

 

[Heartcafe]

As a girl myself, I will tell you that girls are complicated. There is nothing to deny it!

The best way to go is to be close with her and give some hints about how you feel. If you are really too nervous, talk to her friends and ask them to talk to her about you.
Good luck man

 

[iNsAnEHAV0C]

As admiral Akbar puts it...
ITS A TRAP!

Couldn't have said it better myself.
OP: you can try talking to her about it, but be careful something almost exactly the same happened to me. We were able to work it out and are now best friends, but it can hurt for a little while. Like others are saying though, you will never know till you ask

 

[Stalk3rchief]

There is an amazing girl who I've befriended and we seem to be hitting it off pretty well.
The problem is, I'm crazy about her and she's hard to read, so I'm just going to risk it all and tell her how I feel.
But, my escapist friends, I need your help. I am not a confident person, and I need some courage and advice. What do I say to this girl, what's a good way to tell her that I may very well have fallen in love with her without scaring her off or ruining our friendship if she doesn't feel the same way?

When you're somewhere with just the two of you, just say "Hey, I've been wanting to tell you for a while that I like you more than a friend."

If her response is positive and she has the same feelings, ask her to do something together at a later date.

If her response is that she doesn't share your feelings, just say "Hey, cool. Just wanted to get that off my chest." and another girl will come along.

Hope that helps. If she rejects you, I would advice getting to know her female friends. You never know when one of them has the hots for you...

This is actually great advice. o.o

Just don't sweat it. If she says yes, you already know her as a friend, so you have that awkward "will we hit it off?" question out of the way.

If she says no, you wouldn't have come off too strong and you'll still be friends(if you follow my advice, anyway), plus you still have her (probably) large group of female friends to have romantic interests in.

I told her today, and your suggested was perfect. =D
She feels the same way, but we're not going to date just yet. But things are noticeably better. Thanks. =]

 

[Ham_authority95]

There is an amazing girl who I've befriended and we seem to be hitting it off pretty well.
The problem is, I'm crazy about her and she's hard to read, so I'm just going to risk it all and tell her how I feel.
But, my escapist friends, I need your help. I am not a confident person, and I need some courage and advice. What do I say to this girl, what's a good way to tell her that I may very well have fallen in love with her without scaring her off or ruining our friendship if she doesn't feel the same way?

When you're somewhere with just the two of you, just say "Hey, I've been wanting to tell you for a while that I like you more than a friend."

If her response is positive and she has the same feelings, ask her to do something together at a later date.

If her response is that she doesn't share your feelings, just say "Hey, cool. Just wanted to get that off my chest." and another girl will come along.

Hope that helps. If she rejects you, I would advice getting to know her female friends. You never know when one of them has the hots for you...

This is actually great advice. o.o

Just don't sweat it. If she says yes, you already know her as a friend, so you have that awkward "will we hit it off?" question out of the way.

If she says no, you wouldn't have come off too strong and you'll still be friends(if you follow my advice, anyway), plus you still have her (probably) large group of female friends to have romantic interests in.

I told her today, and your suggested was perfect. =D
She feels the same way, but we're not going to date just yet. But things are noticeably better. Thanks. =]

Glad I could help. Take it easy. XD

 

[samuraiweasel]

Some good advice for newbies

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=1881852&highlight=Hamlet

 

[Simalacrum]

This may sound weird, but try and avoid the use of the word "love" - for some people that can give the wrong impression, or seem too extreme and scare girls away. "I really like you" might be a better usage of words, with explanations upon what you mean as in "like" as well... but try to avoid "I love you" just yet, that might be something to say after you've been going out for a bit (this said, the meaning of the word "love" can vary from person to person as far as I can tell, so I guess it really depends... don't take my advice without thinking about this first!)

Another thing, when telling her, try telling her why your attracted to her at the same time - and make sure to be honest about it! Flattery can go a long way to make sure she isn't scaring her and whatnot

One last thing, in the unfortunate circumstance in which she says she doesn't share the same feelings, try and make sure that you're still perfectly fine with being friends with her (that is, if you are ) - be careful about this point, done wrong a proposal can easily break up a friendship as well which would be incredibly unfortunate.

Lastly but not least... goodluck! Hope it goes down well :3

 

[samuraiweasel]

Take a deep breath and be confident about it when you do tell her.

Hamlet has some good advice though...

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=1881852&highlight=hamlet

 

[BonsaiK]

There is an amazing girl who I've befriended and we seem to be hitting it off pretty well.
The problem is, I'm crazy about her and she's hard to read, so I'm just going to risk it all and tell her how I feel.
But, my escapist friends, I need your help. I am not a confident person, and I need some courage and advice. What do I say to this girl, what's a good way to tell her that I may very well have fallen in love with her without scaring her off or ruining our friendship if she doesn't feel the same way?

There's no need to even do this. Instead of "telling her how you feel", a better thing to do would be "ask her out". When you do that, she'll know how you feel and you won't have to say anything.

Now when I say "ask her out" I don't mean "I was wondering if you would go out with me", which is functionally the same as "I love you", what I mean is more "hey, I'm going to do [insert date-like social activity here] this weekend, are you interested in doing it with me?".

If on the other hand you've already been going on "date-like social activities" for ages now and nothing's been happening then I guess you will have to spill the beans. My advice there would be to be matter-of-fact, and drama-free. Just tell her that you'd like to be more than friends and how does she feel about that. If she says yes, all is well, if no then you can just say "that's cool, let's just continue to be friends then". No massive speeches or professions of undying love required, and in fact you shouldn't do that because she's much more likely to say yes if you seem fun and sensible rather than dramatic. Be aware at the end of the day though that even the best approach will often fail because let's face it, some people like some folks, and some don't. But that's how I'd do it and it's how I've done it in the past, with a reasonable success rate.

 

[Flamezdudes]

What I did was before I went offline whilst I was in a chat I told her I had to tell her something important the next day. It was then easier because she brought it up for me and then I just told her straight that I liked her and then she told me how she felt about me.

 

[rickynumber24]

There is an amazing girl who I've befriended and we seem to be hitting it off pretty well.
The problem is, I'm crazy about her and she's hard to read, so I'm just going to risk it all and tell her how I feel.
But, my escapist friends, I need your help. I am not a confident person, and I need some courage and advice. What do I say to this girl, what's a good way to tell her that I may very well have fallen in love with her without scaring her off or ruining our friendship if she doesn't feel the same way?

The best way is to get her alone, and just tell her honestly that you like her and ask her if she likes you back. Some people may disagree with the asking her back part, but if you don't initiate the question at that opportunity, I personally feel like the moment loses it's momentum and asking later wont have as much of an effect as it would doing it right then and there.

Just be honest and true to her & yourself!

I hope this helps!

Aylaine has a cogent response as usual.

I should add that at least you probably don't have some reason you shouldn't start dating immediately. I'm still dating my project partner from a class three years ago, and I was attracted to her about a month into the class, which could have been beyond awkward. (We already knew we were going to spend 10+ hours a week working together for the next two months...)

Talk to her, don't worry about being nervous (you'll be nervous anyway), and, well, if you're already comfortable with each other, I expect you'll come to a reasonable agreement.

Edit: Oh, and no, we didn't start dating until after the big project was done. To do otherwise would have been a really bad time, and it gave us some weeks to get to know each other better, first.