I want to read news, BUT I do not want to think.

[Gilhelmi]

I KNOW, it makes no sense. I just want something interesting to read but it is almost time for bed. If I read something that makes me think then I will lay awake for hours thinking about it.

So, do any of you know of a news site that is,
1) Not real news, like CNN FOX-NEWS or MSNBC (PS: yes, I know none of these guys are that reliable to begin with)
2) Nothing that is 'controversial'. I enjoy MovieBob and Jim but they do make you think most of the time.
3) I already read 'the DuffleBlog' and 'the Onion'

For a bit more discussion. Do y'all have trouble sleeping because you can not stop thinking? Cycles upon cycles of thought, endless thought. Anything any everything must be thought about.

 

[Bluelaughter]

Perhaps the Daily Currant? Less content than the Onion, but similar style.

I have the sleepness problem a lot, but not as much as I used to. Strenuous exercise or housework helps, just to physically exhaust the body to where it needs to sleep.

 

[Gilhelmi]

Perhaps the Daily Currant? Less content than the Onion, but similar style.

I have the sleepness problem a lot, but not as much as I used to. Strenuous exercise or housework helps, just to physically exhaust the body to where it needs to sleep.

Studies usually cause me to think more though, sadly. I use to study things far more then I do now, but then I start to think on them and can not fall asleep.


TY for the Daily Currant, I will try it.

 

[Gauntlets28]

You ever heard of a newspaper called The Sun? It says it's serious, but...

 

[5-0]

BBC News is quite straight and to-the point; more of a summary really. Is that what you're looking for?

 

[Hazy992]

You ever heard of a newspaper called The Sun? It says it's serious, but...

The Sun's a joke, and not in a good way. It serves better purpose as toilet paper for all the journalism it does.

OT: OP have you ever read The Daily Mash? It's a bit like The Onion except it's British, so the humour's a little more sarcastic and cynical. Good stuff

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/

 

[sextus the crazy]

BBC News is quite straight and to-the point; more of a summary really. Is that what you're looking for?

I think what he wants is a satire news site, but one that doesn't require you to think. Essentially he wants satire that isn't funny. Given that any good fake news source is thoughtful i.e. the onion.

 

[thiosk]

I suggest getting into really trashy pulp fiction, or try reading academic articles from outside your area of expertise. Your brain will turn to jelly and you'll fall asleep before you manage to get actual thinking done.

You need to train your brain better that bedtime is sleepy time.
Don't read or think in bed and youll start associating bed with sleeping more effectively.

Beds are for two things only: one of them is sleeping, the other is R rated.

 

[Gauntlets28]

On a more serious note than my previous post, you should try Private Eye. It's a really good, well respected satire mag. Just try to work out where the serious news ends and the satire begins. It's caught out many people before.

 

[william12123]

Cracked.com. May not be a news site, but it is literally just a bunch of random facts for the most part. Shouldnt give you excessive mental stimulation.

 

[lacktheknack]

You ever heard of a newspaper called The Sun? It says it's serious, but...

The Sun's a joke, and not in a good way. It serves better purpose as toilet paper for all the journalism it does.

OT: OP have you ever read The Daily Mash? It's a bit like The Onion except it's British, so the humour's a little more sarcastic and cynical. Good stuff

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/

I totally read "Daily Mail" for a second and it hurt. D:

OT: Try reading company newsletters. They're mostly gushy things about upcoming games, nothing too interesting or exciting to keep you awake.

 

[Godhead]

Weekly World News: the world's only reliable news source (or something along that line). They're only a website now, but I will never forget the headliner it had when I was twelve. "OSAMA BIN LADEN CAUGHT IN MISSOURI BY REDNECKS".

 

[Sir Christopher McFarlane]

You can always read the Daily Mail to keep an eye on what those mooslings have been doing.
Why not instead of reading shit news do you not simply read your news first thing in the morning? Then you don't have any thought problems in the night.

Captcha: sneezing baby panda.

 

[Gilhelmi]

I KNOW, it makes no sense. I just want something interesting to read but it is almost time for bed. If I read something that makes me think then I will lay awake for hours thinking about it.

So, do any of you know of a news site that is,
1) Not real news, like CNN FOX-NEWS or MSNBC (PS: yes, I know none of these guys are that reliable to begin with)

I would have thought CNN and FOX News were exactly what you wanted. They are both news organizations for people who don't want to think.

No, they are "News" organizations for people who do NOT think about things. If I watched them, then I would fume about how wrong they interpreted, well everything.

Anger leads to Hate, Hate leads to I JUST WANT TO FALL THE F*** ASLEEP.

 

[thebakedpotato]

Cracked.com

And honestly google news isn't really that dramatic or controversial most of the time.
After a while of following the news you know the trends.

"Oh look something about the Royal baby... looks like nothing happened today."
The last non "ZOMG THE MIDDLE EAST IS AT WAR!" bit of news that shocked me was that whole kidnapper thing in Cleveland. Which happened awfully close to Detroit's bankruptcy. Almost as if Detroit was saying "At least we're not Cleveland."