I Want to Understand the Struggles of Asexuals

[Piorn]

What do asexuals do with all their freetime, though? I envy them, really.
I'm in my mid-twenties now, and still waiting for the awful throbbing to stop. The more you ignore it the worse it gets, but there is also no way to get rid of it.
By now I'm really just sick of it all.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

snip

snip

I'm not a doctor, so you shouldn't be asking me what is normal and what isn't.

At the most I just showed that dictionary definitions can vary.

EDIT:

Also I didn't just say "doesn't want to reproduce". I said never ever during their entire lifespan ever had the urge to reproduce.

That's quite a big difference.

It makes zero difference to what I pointed out.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

I don't know what asexuality is, or if it's even one thing. I don't know if it's something that people want to be treated, or if that would be like asking a gay person if they wanted to be "treated".

I don't even know if it's real in the way some people here are claiming. I don't think anyone really does yet.

In a nutshell, (a)sexuality[footnote]Separated the A so as not to be confused with asexual reproduction[/footnote] is a lack of sexual attraction. It's viewed as a sexual orientation (or lack thereof).

Example:
heterosexual = sexually attracted to the opposite sex
homosexual = sexually attracted to the same sex
bisexual = sexually attracted to two (or more) sex/ gender
(a)sexual = sexually attracted to none

Edit: Wow my brain isn't working.

Generally speaking, suggesting a person who calls themself (a)sexual needs to be "treated" would not be viewed favorably.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

I don't know, it sounds like all of them are variations on sexuality, and one is an absence of it. That does seem, for lack of a better term, dysfunctional.

That would depend on your view of "functional" which is where the debate shows up.

 

[Something Amyss]

I don't see how not having something that is required for your genetic legacy to survive is functional.

But this goes back to homosexuality, which you suggested this could be likened to. Homosexuality takes you out of the gene pool as well (unless you choose to mate, but asexuals can do that, too...it's not as though they suddenly lose the ability to reproduce due to lack of attraction). Do you feel homosexuals are dysfunctional and need to be treated? Your prior post leads me to believe you do not.

What's the rate of depression and suicide among asexuals?

I don't have these numbers, but when you get them, what will you do with them? Homosexual and trans groups have drastically higher suicide rates than the majority of the populace. Does this tell you anything about the condition or the treatment?

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

I don't see how not having something that is required for your genetic legacy to survive is functional. It's one thing to make a choice not to have sex, or children. If I'm understanding you correctly, asexual people don't have a choice. That sounds pretty dysfunctional.

If it's not, how is it not? What's the rate of depression and suicide among asexuals?

Homosexual people are sexually attracted to the same sex, isn't the result basically the same thing? (the genetic legacy doesn't survive), are homosexual people also dysfunctional?

Furthermore, (a)sexual people can have children if they so desire and straight couples can have (a)sexual, homosexual, bisexual, ext children, it's not something[footnote] as I understand it [/footnote] that can be bred out of the family over such and such amount of generations.

I couldn't give you a statistic for the rate of suicide or depression among (a)sexuals, that would require first to know how many (a)sexuals there are (I've only ever seen some 1% of the population statistic thrown around), but most of the distress (a)sexuals feel is based not on their (lack of) sexuality, but rather feeling misunderstood because of it (ex: if you feel there is nothing wrong with you, yet you keep hearing people call you "mentally ill" that can be pretty distressing).

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

How would they feel misunderstood unless they openly announced their lack of a drive?

Which is something that comes up during the search for an SO.

 

[Silvanus]

I don't see how not having something that is required for your genetic legacy to survive is functional. It's one thing to make a choice not to have sex, or children. If I'm understanding you correctly, asexual people don't have a choice. That sounds pretty dysfunctional.

If it's not, how is it not?

Well, many people don't consider reproduction to be their primary/sole function. I know I don't. And, if one considers it such, there are numerous other approaches. Asexuals can still have sex for that purpose.

 

[Something Amyss]

Homosexuals and trans people are often subject to stigmatization, violence, "outing", and in lots of the world legal restrictions. Not having a sex drive isn't something you can identify in the same way, in any case. There will never be a telltale that an asexual person has to be concerned with, and society does often weirdly prize abstinence. I don't see the groups you mentioned as being very alike anyway.

Sure. Except you probably wouldn't be able to tell I'm bisexual or trans if you met me on the street. Conforming to societal norms in and of itself is a bit of a killer, and society does ostracise people who don't pair off and make babby. Hell, my SO gets crap for not wanting to breed. Iactually don't see why this is a bad thing, because they'd ostensibly breed with me, and any such offspring would no doubt bring upon the apocalypse, but still.

I didn't suggest that homosexuality could be likened to asexuality by the way, I asked if saying something about one would be taken like saying the same about another.

I suggested that the argument here could be likened to homosexuality. Because the arguments being made about passing on your genes and normalcy apply to all three groups. You didn't address any of the issues actually raised with your argument, either. Not with me, not with Eclipse.

Asexuals can still breed. Homosexuals are wired to want partners that take them out of the gene pool. Neither homosexuality, bisexuality, or transsexuality is considered normal (And all were treated as mental disorders to be fixed previously due to similar arguments). You have two people roughly bringing up the same points, though coming at it from somewhat different angles, and are addressing them to neither. Can you please actually address these?

And for the record, I would list "none" as a different sexual preference.

 

[Something Amyss]

Well, many people don't consider reproduction to be their primary/sole function. I know I don't. And, if one considers it such, there are numerous other approaches. Asexuals can still have sex for that purpose.

And without sex.

Anyway, I don';t remember the exact numbers, but the number of people who report fertility issues in the US is a whole order of magnitude off from the entire estimated populace of the LGBT (plus whatever other leters you would add) community.

For a group whose sole purpose is breeding, a good chunk of us can't.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

I don't see how not having something that is required for your genetic legacy to survive is functional. It's one thing to make a choice not to have sex, or children. If I'm understanding you correctly, asexual people don't have a choice. That sounds pretty dysfunctional.

If it's not, how is it not?

Well, many people don't consider reproduction to be their primary/sole function. I know I don't. And, if one considers it such, there are numerous other approaches. Asexuals can still have sex for that purpose.

Please see www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/18.883698.22299743

I'm not claiming that it needs to be anyone's purpose. I'm not religious, so purpose doesn't matter to me. I'm more concerned that it's not a viable trait which you can pass along. A lack of sexual drive seems likely to take you out of the sexual market for your whole life. You won't be faking a life with a wife or husband, while secretly meeting your same-gendered love in a motel either. You won't be a person with an active sex drive, who happens to feel they were born into the wrong body either.

And what is the importance of this sexual market? Why does it matter if you ever pass along your genetics? If those are not our purpose then it should be fine if we don't engage in them, no?