"I wish people would stop hitting on me" - What it actually means, and why it is still insulting.

[Realitycrash]

And for those of us that rarely get any attention or affection at all, this seems slightly insulting. It's like you're poor, and this rich guy is walking by going "Oh, damn, my wallet is so heavy, why must I have so much money?".

What's insulting is your comparison. More money can't be bad, you can always do more with more money. It's insulting though that you seem to think people should all view more attention as positive if it isn't outright creepy or something.

I said "for those of us that rarely get any affection at all". Sure, you might not agree, but I am fairly certain most people do. You live a life where no one of the sex you prefer gives you any attention (and you are not fully asexual) then yes, you will view attention as a good thing. You will most likely crave it very badly.
This, of course, might stop as soon as you get enough of it.

I don't care if they agree and find it insulting. Has nothing to do with my point that anyone who thinks that way is the one who is insulting, and self-centered to boot. I don't care if they view attention as a good thing, it's insulting for them, and you, to act like EVERYONE has to see it as a good thing.

Is some attention from ones preferred sex a good thing, or at least until you have hit your "cap"? Yes. Unless you are asexual, I'm gonna go with EVERYONE.
But of course, since there is ALWAYS some exceptions, I might revise my claim to "EVERYONE except A FEW". Happy enough with your nitpicking?

You're ignoring the point. It's not nitpicking. I'm not particularly happy with your asinine idea that it's insulting for someone to say they do not want more attention. Because it isn't unless you make some really ridiculous assumptions.

It is not per definition insulting, no. But it will, most likely, be insulting to those that never get any. That would almost kill to get any what so ever. And I have been such a person, and I know such people, and after reading through this thread, many people can relate.
It's simply thoughtless.

No, it isn't thoughtless to assume people aren't self centered. Because that's about the only reason to find it insulting, if you can't look past your own desires.

It isn't thoughtless to assume that others might desperately need what you complain about having in abundance?
Oh, okay.

Nope, not when we can know that people do not in fact desperately need that kind of attention. Why do you insult the poor, homeless, and starving by comparing their situation of needing money to people wanting attention?

We CAN'T, but we can assume that there MIGHT be some just around us that desperately need such attention, and thus instead of phrasing ourselves such a way, we might say "Man, I find these people creepy" or a similar thing.
That's why I said it was thoughtless. Same as complaining about your money is thoughtless, because some of those around you might actually be unemployed.

 

[Axolotl]

And it's pretty insulting to the poor I'd say to compare their needs to people who just want attention.

Why? Sure being poor is bad but I would have thought most people would prefer that to the complete absence of human companionship.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Still wish I was beautiful. Regardless of the awkwardness or what have you.

You will always be beautiful to me.

I don't just call any Panda that, either!

Haha thanks. *throws flowing locks of hair into the wind*

 

[Overusedname]

I've been stalked.

It's not fun.

It's not really flattering either. Especially with a girl as unpleasant as the one who did the stalking. I've never felt particularly handsome or ugly (though 'average' doesn't describe my look either), but I was very open and hosted a lot of school events, so my personality was front and center. It was nice to feel...wanted I guess. But only when the girl wasn't an insensitive brat.

I've always been very comfortable with myself since freshmen year of highschool, making friends who don't give two shits about outward appearances and petty matters. Some men, some women. And if my experience and that of my friends is any indication, Highschool romance is a disaster for 'old souls'. And I was called and old soul when I was eight. Anyone who is already confident in their own identity and accepting of other people will stick out like a sore thumb in a highschool environment. And despite all that, I was voted on of the most recognizable kids in my senior year. And apparently not for any bad reason. I was kind of loud and shameless.

...I had a weird highschool experience.

 

[Psykoma]

Thoughts/comments?

You're kind of right and wrong for me.

I think the issue you would have in understanding why I (Female) would say I wish people would stop hitting on me, is a difference in definitions.
You (and it pretty much everyone in this thread) seem to think of "Hitting on" "Flirting" and "Pickin up" as synonyms, completely interchangeable.

But for my group of friends and I, we've developped a kind of interpersonal definition where:

"Picking up" is an umbrella term for both "hitting on" and "Flirting"
But where "Hitting on" and "Flirting" are two vastly different terms with vastly different meanings.

"Hitting on" is reserved for mean, demeaning and offensive types of "Picking up".
Some examples:
"Hey baby, lets go around back so you can wrap your lips around my pole" (Yes, this was an actual "Pickup" line.
Or
"Hey slut, you're pretty ugly, but I guess you'd do. Lets go down to my car and you can help me explode" (Yes, another real one)

Demeaning, insulting, rude, asshole comments.

"Flirting" is used for the polite, respectful methods of "Picking up" someone.
Some examples
"Hi there, my name is XX, I saw you and thought you looked really pretty, I was wondering if we could talk for a bit"
Or
"Hi, I love your shirt, I'm also a huge fan of (insert whatever logo was on my shirt), what did you think of (whatever recently happened concerning the logo)" and then segue into a conversation.

Polite, respectful of me and my feelings, great.

I don't care if it's an adonis with stephen hawkings intelligence and Joss Whedon's nerdgasm score doing the "Hitting on", I don't like it.
I don't care if it's a 250 pound neckbeard doing the flirting, I like it.

So when I and my friends say "I wish people would stop hitting on me", we are -not- saying "oh it sucks being so beautiful". What we mean is that we wish people would stop being such complete assholes when talking to us, and wish they would actually be polite.

 

[Snowbell]

I think you could be right with what you're saying about women being afraid of a physical attack, I very rarely go out to pubs and even less frequently get hit on there but if I was to be approached by an aggressively flirtatious man who was onviously pretty strong I would feel freaked the hell out.

Although I don't get hit on a lot by strangers nor in person, I do get hit on A LOT by my Facebook friends. Every week startng from when my status changed from 'in a relationship' to 'single' a different guy would message me on Facebook and start leading the conversation towards my being 'lonely' or 'needing someone'. I found this annoying as hell, and not just because these were mostly people I didn't know well whom I had added for use of contacting for group university projects but mainly because it felt so insincere.

I felt like all they wanted was to get into a girl's pants and had chosen me as the 'somewhat nice, somewhat pretty, not too high standards' girl to go for. They would often only message me when they were drunk which would make me feel really low, like I wasn't worth their time when they were sober and they only found me attractive through beer goggles. I had a guy from the army whom I had met very briefly at school saying to me 'maybe you and me should get together sometime, I've always thought geeky girls were hot', which absolutely disgusted me as he was clearly only seeing me as an object of sexual gratification.

Safe to say I told all these men in no unclear terms that I was not interested the moment the conversation turned towards my dating status. I actually ended up falling for and asking out myself a guy who hadn't payed me any romantic interest at all, because he'd treated me like a friend rather than a woman which I really like (and is the loveliest guy imaginable, who says girls don't date nice guys?). We're now not only going out but we're also each other's best friends, so if you ask me it's best to treat a girl as an equal, not as someone you just want to date

Tldr; I hate guys hitting on me because it feels insincere and like they only want me for either my body or getting to say 'haha I have a girlfriend and you don't!' to other guys

Captcha; 'towel dry' Equius...?

 

[Quadocky]

I wish I could offer input but I have no firsthand experience.

But if you must know my opinion: Nobody likes clingy, shallow creeps. Nobody.

The main reason is, and this can go for other things, is that people hate being emotionally compelled to do things. Mutual understandings are always important in relationships. If there is a distinct imbalance the entire situation becomes hostile. One must learn to keep things balanced and friendly.

 

[Lyri]

Because to most people, it's still insulting.

Thoughts/comments?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

In summary; No.

It isn't insulting at all that people really don't want the attention, you not getting any and others getting more than they want doesn't equal one person insulting the other.
Had you said "Man I wish I would get some ladies to hit on me" do you think the others would have turned around and made a post about how their friends ugliness offends them?

Get a grip man.

 

[Mel Theofficegamergirl]

I think I'm rather average looking but I think that it's annoying when people shout at me from moving vehicles while I'm trying to just walk to the fucking grocery store. Seriously. I don't even dress up, wear make up, or anything like that. I don't get it. Usually I'm just wearing jeans and a t-shirt when I go out...And I live in a college town where there is plenty people waaaaay more attractive than myself. I'm just trying to take care of my own business. leave me alone! >_<

 

[game-lover]

I've never truly said that statement out loud. But for me, I've voiced a similar thought only in the sense that it seems none of the guys who have hit on me or any that I'm attracted to.

So I bemoan to myself the fact that it seems only the guys I'm not interested in hit on me. As in, a guy comes, I get a glimpse of him and decide immediately if I find him attractive. So far it's been a no.

And it's more depressing because I'm especially afraid of rejection so I sure the fuck will not be doing the modern female thing and approaching anyone. Initiating anything would only be after a relationship is established.