If Gaming Was A Religion - An Insight Into The Minds Of The Escapis Forums

[Mr. Grey]

You mean to tell me it isn't?

What have I religiously been doing all this years?

 

[MiracleOfSound]

I am a member of the local Bethesdian church.

 

[Woodsey]

Tommy Angelo of Mafia would be God, naturally. He is, after all, the protagonist of the best game ever.

The holy book would be a compilation of all gaming manuals - except from stuff like move tie-ins.

The only rule is that you must play Mafia at least once a week. The second rule is to follow the first rule.

 

[C_sector]

O

The rules:

1. Thou shalt not teabag lest thy kill was epic

2. Thou shalt not camp lest in an objective gametype

3. Thou shalt not noobtube lest the other team starts it

4. Thou shalt not troll consoles thou doest not own

5. Developers wilst release patches to balance and fix gameplay issues

6. Thou wilst not rage over delays or release dates

7. Thou wilst not lag switch

8. Thou wilst not pay for demos

9. Thou wilst not sing nor scream into thy mic

10. Thou wilst not betray thy teammates.

Here are some more:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.195624-The-Infinite-Gaming-Commandments

 

[vonjibble]

That is a nice list of gods but how did Dante get in?
a character from one game that was very meh? (was there another game using the character of Dante besides Dante's Inferno?)
all new sonic games may be bad but i think he should still get God statis.

Hail Sheogorath!

 

[Captain Pirate]

Don't think it's THAT Dante. Maybe the one from Devil May Cry?
Also, about that Gods list. I think you're missing someone...
*Cough*MasterChief*cough*

 

[lord death jr]

there are three gods are whoever reprsents the major three religons (companies) making up one big religon (gaming)

of course there would be the minor religons (all the minor companies)

 

[Shock and Awe]

There would be many gods that represent different genres.

Mario-Platformers

Link-Adventure Games

Doom Guy, Gordan Freeman, and Master Chief-Shooters

Cyan-JRPGs

Commander Shepard-WRPGs

Chell-Puzzle Games

Racing-Captain Falcon

 

[Veldt Falsetto]

You realise that most of the god of gaming will be older characters...I hope

So the gods of gaming are -
Mario the god of Jumping
Link the god of Time
Samus the god of Blasting
Snake the god of Stealth
Ryu Hayabusa the god of Ninjitsu
Ryu the god of Street Fighting
Cloud Strife the god Fantasy
Sonic the god of Speed
Dante the god of Cool
Gordon Freeman the god of physics

The bible would be booklets that come with each game.

The rules would be
Thou must always have fun
Thou must never rage quit
Thou must respect another gamer, regardless of console and genre preference
Thou must always strive to innovate and improve before releasing a game (for devs only)

 

[Gabanuka]

God would be Shigeru Miyamoto.

The holy book would be the internet.

The rules would be:

1. Shigeru Miyamoto is your God.
2. You shall not believe Hideo Kojima is your God before me.
3. You shall not make yourself a facebook idol.
4. You shall not make wrongful use of gaming characters for porn.
5. Remember the Ocarina of Time and keep it Holy.
6. Honor your father and mother by disregarding their bed times.
7. You shall murder campers.
8. You shall not commit to game store subscriptions.
9. You shall not steal your teammates' kills.
10. You shall not covet Cortana or Samus.

Can we do 4 and 10 in moderation?

 

[Thaius]

Ctrl+Alt+Del already has some pretty good 10 commandments. Though if I remember right, it may be more than 10...

Beyond that, I object to the fact that the current prototype of the commandments doesn't have a single command in appreciation for gaming as a single-player artistic experience. That should be half, at least. Or maybe artistic and competitive gaming each have different commandments. Possibly also another set for "just for fun" gaming, since many people just playing for the lulz tend to ruin the experience of those playing as serious competition, or to appreciate the game as a work of art.

Beyond that, I vote for the gaming gods to be based on genre. For instance,

The Prince of Persia: god of Action games
Mario: god of Platformers
Master Chief and Gordon Freeman (feuding brothers): gods of First-Person Shooters
GLaDOS or Tetris piece: god of Puzzle Games
Cloud Strife: god of RPGs

And so forth.

As for a holy book... I'm not sure there is any one book for it. Maybe... the internet. Just the internet. Though it would be an incredibly flawed holy book...

EDIT: Though it must be noted that gaming couldn't really be a genuine religion simply because it has no promises regarding eternity. And if it did, that would be stupid. It would make a great prank similar to the Australian Jedi Census Incident though...

 

[vonjibble]

Don't think it's THAT Dante. Maybe the one from Devil May Cry?
Also, about that Gods list. I think you're missing someone...
*Cough*MasterChief*cough*

oh, my mistake I havn't played Devil May Cry

 

[Novania]

As long as Commander Shepard and Master Chief are included as Gods, and if Zynga is the deepest pit of hell, THEN COUNT ME IN!!!

 

[Miumaru]

Mario would be Jesus and Miyamoto would be God. The developers are the creators, which is what God is supposed to be.

If gaming was religion, we'd be killing over PS3 versus 360 though, and that would be pathetic.