If real animals were Pokemon... Who would be in your team?

[Deadonstick]

Anthrax
Type: Microbe
Attacks: Suffocate, suffocate worse, duplicate.

Elephant
Type: Ball of fat
Attacks: Squash people, rip people to shreds, charge at people, basically kill everything and making very loud noises.

Common Cold
Type: Virus
Attacks: Runny nose, coughing, replication.

 

[Kinguendo]

Since when was "Bird" and "Snake" a type in Pokemon? Snake would be poison and Bird would be flying.

Anyway:

1) The Sea Wasp!

Type: Poison/Water

Moves: Poison Sting, Bind, Water Gun, Flail. (Even flail is deadly when you are a Box Jellfish!)

Spoiler: SEA WAAAASP!

2) Stonefish.

Type: Poison/Water

Moves: Rollout, Dig, Bide, Scaryface. (Basically anything that involves touching you because as soon as contact is made you suffer excruciating pain, are paralyzed and go into shock. Oh and also they have fairly scary faces.)

Spoiler: STONEFISH IS ANGRY!

3) Mosquito.

Type: Bug/Flying

Moves: Malaria, seriously now you have Malaria, I dont need anymore moves, What? Mosquitos kill 2-3 million people a year so that 1 move will do.

Spoiler: Mr. Stabby the Mosquito!

4) Duck-Billed Platypus.

Type: Water/Cute

Moves: Fury Swipes, Tail Whip, Hydro Pump, Dive.

Spoiler: PLATYPUS!

5) Narwhal!

Type: Water

Moves: Surf, Quick Attack, Ice Beam, Horn Attack. (Easily the greatest animal on Earth!)

Spoiler: NARWHAL!

I dont really need 6.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

A platypus:

Fury Swipes, Hyper Beam, Hydro Pump, and to round things off, Tail Whip.

 

[Crazy_Dude]

Crocoduck

Type: Awesome

Attacks: Outrage

 

[guess who]

Coyote

Type: Normal

Attacks: Bite, Quick attack, Growl, Roar

King Cobra

Type: Poison

Attacks: Bite, Poison Bite, Coil Around, Glare

Cassowary

Type: Normal/flying(?)

Moves: Cut, Quick Attack, Peck, Agility

Humboldt Squid

Type: Water

Attacks: Surf, Wrap, Bite, Dive

 

[Jake the Snake]

Platypus

Type: Biological Mistake

Moves: Quack, Lay Egg, Scientific Confusion, Awesome Beam (you die because of how awesome platypi are.

 

[drbarno]

Ostrich
Type: normal/flying

moves: Drill peck, agility, mega kick, camoflage

 

[TomLikesGuitar]

An orangutan (preferably named the Librarian)

Type : Primate (not monkey!)

Moves: Beat Senseless, Rip off Arm, Squash Head, Claw off Face

Go Tarantula!

Tarantula uses Scare Shitless.

The Librarian (lol) flinched.

Tarantula uses Shoe Evasion.

The move failed.

Librarian used Squash Head

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE

Librarian eats bannana

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE

Librarian ran away

...IT'S STILL SUPER EFFECTIVE

Tarantula is sad .

Tarantula used alcohol.

It's SUPER EFFECTIVE.

Tarantula needs rehab.

 

[LostAlone]

Someone remind me... are sharktopuses fictional, extinct or real ? If they are, I need never have anything else.

Failing that:

Leech
Water/Horrific
Attacks: Urethal Hiriduniasis. That means it swims up your dick and sucks out your blood, thus expanding from teenty tiny to maybe an inch across. While its up your dick.

Sure its slow, and you might block a few, but in a very genuine sense, I only have to hit once and you are motherfucking DOWN. Hell, you can win the match for all I care. You fight me, you spend a few hours having doctors work out how to pull something bigger than your wang through your urethra.

 

[TeeBs]

Mary Kate and Ashley
Type:Twins
Ability:Twincess
Moves:Attract,Double Team,Helping Hand and Pound

Allllriiigghhhtt

 

[bigredlyms]

i wish i could like this thread but the whole point of red blue and yellow was that they took a shit ton of animals, gave them powers and called them pokemon. so the answer to this thread is still just whatever your favorite pokemon team was.

ps. the rapist thing was funny

 

[LostAlone]

Mary Kate and Ashley
Type:Twins
Ability:Twincess
Moves:Attract,Double Team,Helping Hand and Pound

Allllriiigghhhtt

Tbh the early form was WAY better than the final evolution *shakes head*

 

[Dead_Man]

Balooga Whale
TYPE: Water
MOVES: Body Slam, Hydro Pump, Surf, Tail Whip

Brown Bear
TYPE: Normal
MOVES: Fury Swipes, Mega Punch, Roar, Bite

Pigeon
TYPE: Flying
MOVES: Fly, Wing Attack, Peck, Sand Attack

Tree
TYPE: Grass
MOVES: Growth, Harden, Bide, Bullet Seed

Bull
TYPE: Ground
MOVES: Rollout, Mega Kick, Strengh, Horn Attack

Zombie
TYPE: Poison
MOVES: Bite, Curse, Sludge, Scratch

 

[Terminate421]

Penguin
Sawfish
Raven
Owl
Scorpion
Alligator

Bring it on Motherfuckers.

 

[JBojangles]

T-Rex
Type: Ground?
Moves: Devour, Charge(like to rush someone, not charge energy), Stomp, Bite

 

[The Stonker]

Pedobear.

Type:Normal (I guess).

Ability:Lure with candy.

Quick attack.
Confusion.
Steal.
Splash.

 

[The Stonker]

Goldfish

Abilities:being awesome.
Type:Fish.

Splash.
That's it.

 

[robinkom]

A baby penguin named Meep, but not to fight, for my own amusement. They're so adorable. :3

I don't need anymore, I'd just sit in the crowd with Meep and watch all of you fight each other.

 

[monkey_man]

tiger, name: Mister paws
moves: claw, multiclaw, pounce neckbite
gorilla, name: Sir Monkeyface mcbanana
moves: rip off arms, facepunch, suckerpunch, rage
shark, name: Bitey
moves: bite, surf, intimidate, headbutt
elephant, Facecruncher
moves: tackle, eat (restore health) , constrict, tremble( rush in to stomp on the foe)
flying squirrel, name: squirrely
moves. fly (lol) , evade, confuse, bite
cableguy, name Eduardo El pachino
eer..
fly!, name: Mr annoy-the-hell-outta-you
poisonous bite, sting, annoy, fly {LOOOOL}