if the above avatar broke into my house I would:

[BrailleOperatic]

I'd catch him and keep him as a pet to endear myself to pixels of the opposite sex.

 

[Cinnamonfloss]

I would get hypnotised.
or have a fit.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Laugh and laugh and laugh.

 

[Jedamethis]

I'd...uh...
Give them a cup of tea?

 

[Cinnamonfloss]

Cook it.

 

[Scde2]

I would slap it and throw it out the window.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

I'd kick him into the pit. There'll be no yiffing here.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Study its properties.

 

[Cinnamonfloss]

Have afternoon tea.

 

[Jedamethis]

Sit on them.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Sick my male calico cat on them.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

I'd tell all my friends about the new maid I just got.

 

[Cinnamonfloss]

Ctrl Z.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Give her a hug.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

*Ultimate rape face*

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Delete him.

 

[i don't know]

offer her some poisoned tea.

 

[Cinnamonfloss]

I dont know

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Start a band! An awesome band!

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Inquire its origins.