I'd be to scared and jump out of the way, allowing for him to run by and myself to look like s pussy. But theeeeeeen the person runs into a lamppost and is knocked out, making me a town hero for capturing the criminal, who turns out to be Hitler (somehow). I'm given a parade and awarded a medal for my bravery/cowardice, and make a deal with joe pesci to overthrow the mayor-figure. We do this by pretending to be clowns at his daughters party (much to the annoyance of Joe) and kidnap her, holding her at ransom for the town. Only then do we find out that was wasn't the mayor at all, but christopher walken! Who threatens us while trying to give us a watch that's been up several mens asses. Before we're hypnotised by his voice, I throw a spoon at him (his ultimate weakness) and we run away, only for a Jewish tap dancing walrus to eat us. Inside the walrus me and Joe Pesci spend our nights gambling, but he keeps shooting our waiters! All this because I got out of the way, I'd have preferred to be spider-man (until the third film, of course)