If you could ban one low profile thing...

[theheroofaction]

Website redirects
also those stupid ads that expand into a full screen video whenever you scroll over them.
The sentence would be doubled, nay, tripled if they're placed near a websites navigation buttons

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

Stoes or any kind of place playing music or making announcements past 9 pm.

 

[Lionsfan]

Um.....mean spirited sarcasm. If someone does it, they will get shocked with a caddle prod.

Oh, that sounds like it will solve all the problems in the world[footnote]sorry dude, couldn't resist[footnote]I'll take my cattle prod shocking now[/footnote][/footnote]

I have a few things I'd like to ban:

4. Tyler Perry (99% of he writes should be subtitled "Black People Stereotypes")

I'm guessing that you're white, cause for the most part the stuff he puts out there is loved by black people, who aren't viewing it as negative stereotypes. He's more of a family friendly comic than the Dave Chappelle's/Chris Rock's of the world

 

[P1112Aigaion]

the words epic and fail they are way way too commercialized now

 

[pastrami05]

Aging. Not low-profile enough? I want to ban people picking my mushrooms. I don't care if we have laws that allow you to do that in Sweden, those are my fucking mushrooms! I'll be damned before I have to get up at five in the morning every day to be certain that I will get toeat delicious mushrooms...that I don't have to pay for.

Seriously. stay away from my mushrooms.

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT... In Sweden people can walk into your garden and take your mushrooms? Or am I just interpreting this wrong? Because that's just messed up. Especially if they're mushrooms.

I would ban ridiculously large cans of Arizona Iced Tea. I don't know why, but the foot high cans rub me the wrong way.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

...but isn't Smoking a low profile thing? Cigarettes I mean? Well, I wouldn't ban those I was just thinking out loud...

Anyway, I'd ban companies from announcing a service/product to the general public until said thing has a hard, set release date. Imaging a world in which we didn't know about Duke Nukem Forever until January of 2011? Or a slightly happier world in which none of us knew about the cancelled Avengers game?

Pushing back release dates more than a month will incur a fine.

 

[WolfThomas]

How about banning all coffee except for one single type? That would work, right?

Would it be black or white coffee?

 

[Zorg Machine]

Aging. Not low-profile enough? I want to ban people picking my mushrooms. I don't care if we have laws that allow you to do that in Sweden, those are my fucking mushrooms! I'll be damned before I have to get up at five in the morning every day to be certain that I will get toeat delicious mushrooms...that I don't have to pay for.

Seriously. stay away from my mushrooms.

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT... In Sweden people can walk into your garden and take your mushrooms? Or am I just interpreting this wrong? Because that's just messed up. Especially if they're mushrooms.

I would ban ridiculously large cans of Arizona Iced Tea. I don't know why, but the foot high cans rub me the wrong way.

No but everyone can walk around in forests as long as they don't disturb anything. However, everyone can pick berries and mushrooms while in the forest. Guess who has the only little patch of mushroom growing forest in the area....

 

[Kolby Jack]

Fedoras. A perfectly good hat ruined by hipsters. It is now impossible to to wear one without being universally reviled except by other pricks like you or naive girls who may find you attractive now but are in for a round of bitter disappointment later on.

If you are caught wearing a fedora, the punishment is death by lethal injection, the most generic and least cool/hip way to die. No press will be allowed to attend your death or write about it either, lest they suffer the same fate. Your tombstone will read "Die in obscurity, douchebag" and will not have your name or any other personal information on it.

And your grave site will not appear on any map, even on the internet.

 

[Frostbite3789]

People who use mobile phones when they're being served.

Headphones get off with a caution.

Working retail, I hate HATE HAAAATE when people walk up to the register and just talk on their phone the entire time.

Goddamn, I'm a human being, not an automaton. I'd appreciate being treated like one.

 

[McMullen]

...what would it be?

Now, the key part here is "low profile". Please keep stuff like abortion, death penalty, smoking and pre-martial sex out of this one, this thread is for the little peeves.

Me, I'd ban coffee in any way shape and form...and cafe workers all over the world would rejoice over no longer having to deal with annoying customers who want their coffee "just so".

You know, not everyone goes to Starbucks or espresso stands for their coffee. And not all those who do make those specialized orders. Most days I make mine at home, and when I do go to a coffee house, I just order plain coffee or espresso.

I'd ban people from banning things that are used worldwide and have a rich, influential history just because they have a problem with a tiny minority in one of the many cultures that partake of them. And ban those people from the internet while I was at it.

 

[pastrami05]

Aging. Not low-profile enough? I want to ban people picking my mushrooms. I don't care if we have laws that allow you to do that in Sweden, those are my fucking mushrooms! I'll be damned before I have to get up at five in the morning every day to be certain that I will get toeat delicious mushrooms...that I don't have to pay for.

Seriously. stay away from my mushrooms.

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT... In Sweden people can walk into your garden and take your mushrooms? Or am I just interpreting this wrong? Because that's just messed up. Especially if they're mushrooms.

I would ban ridiculously large cans of Arizona Iced Tea. I don't know why, but the foot high cans rub me the wrong way.

No but everyone can walk around in forests as long as they don't disturb anything. However, everyone can pick berries and mushrooms while in the forest. Guess who has the only little patch of mushroom growing forest in the area....

Oh... that is most unfortunate. My sincere condolences.

 

[Death Carr]

I would ban public displays of affection
Just earlier today while sitting in IT I saw two people who may as well have been 5 centimetres from having sex with the way they were sucking on each others faces *vomits*

 

[Nouw]

Not a fan of banning things so I'll ban banning.

snip

snip

I believe this is appropriate.

​

 

[Reaper69lol]

Facebook.

Everything has to be done through Facebook now, for some reason.

"Contact us through our Facebook page"
-- oh yeah? what happened to your normal website?

"Oh, you don't have a Facebook? Go back to your cave!"
-- yeah . . . fuck you.

I couldnt agree more. I personally despise facebook, for reasons that I cant really openly talk about, but bottom line is I dont use it anymore, at all. However, it does appear that nowadays you "need" to have it, you are damn looked down upon if you dont have it. So yeah, if I could ban one thing, Facebook.

 

[Gerishnakov]

Pigeons

It should be legal to kill them on sight, humanely of course.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I'd ban bad manners/lack of manners. How hard is it to say please/thank you, really?

Or maybe ban those stupid fake glasses people are STILL wearing. I'm just waiting for them to jump on a fake wheelchair/crutches/hearing aid fashion bandwagon now.

 

[ChildishLegacy]

Passive Aggressiveness - people who have a grudge against you/other people but rather than talking about it they just act in a different way towards said person, and make any situations awkward with them.

People shouting out of car windows as they go past you - Not much has to be said about this, if you do this to people you should be ashamed and should reevaluate your life if you do this to get kicks.

Table Manners - As long as you're not eating with your mouth open/smearing food all over your face, you shouldn't have to hold/use your cutlery in a certain way, and you should be allowed to only use a fork for meals that only require a fork - stop looking at me like im some kind of barbarian when i cut a sausage with the edge of my fork.

Passive-aggressiveness.

I get it, you're upset. Don't act (badly) like you're not. It's transparent. Remember that random we walked past on the street? Yeah, she could tell you were upset too. You completely fail to hide it.

Damn ninjas, they're everywhere today.

 

[CAPTCHA]

Aging. Not low-profile enough? I want to ban people picking my mushrooms. I don't care if we have laws that allow you to do that in Sweden, those are my fucking mushrooms! I'll be damned before I have to get up at five in the morning every day to be certain that I will get toeat delicious mushrooms...that I don't have to pay for.

Seriously. stay away from my mushrooms.

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT... In Sweden people can walk into your garden and take your mushrooms? Or am I just interpreting this wrong? Because that's just messed up. Especially if they're mushrooms.

I would ban ridiculously large cans of Arizona Iced Tea. I don't know why, but the foot high cans rub me the wrong way.

No but everyone can walk around in forests as long as they don't disturb anything. However, everyone can pick berries and mushrooms while in the forest. Guess who has the only little patch of mushroom growing forest in the area....

I'm so confused. You don't resemble this fine fellow by any chance do you?

Spoiler