If you could conquer one country, which would it be?

[JoJo]

[HEADING=1]INJUSTICE LEAGUE[br]ASKS[br][small]If you could conquer one country, which would it be? [/small][/HEADING]​

Imagine it Escapists! You've built your assorted army of laser sharks, ninja dwarves and Big Daddies so large that they have the manpower to conquer any nation on Earth, from the endless wastes of Russia to the gold-plated square mile which is Vatican City. Success is guaranteed but due to the worker's rights or some other flimsy excuse, you can only take over one country right now. Which one do you conquer?

It can be for any reason imaginable: maybe they specialise in a food you love (or hate), maybe their women and/or men are just particularly alluring, maybe they sit on the world's largest oil well, maybe you can't stand their politicians? For a bonus question, what would be your invasion plan? I'll post my response after a few of you comment, as to not prejudice answers.

[HEADING=3]TLR: Which country would you conquer?[/HEADING]​

[hr]

[small]-JoJo-[/small]
[small]-Captain of the Henchmen-[/small]

THIS THREAD APPROVED BY THE INJUSTICE LEAGUE

 

[Colour Scientist]

England.

Just as payback.
Have a taste of your own medicine, you fuckers.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

England.

Just as payback.
Have a taste of your own medicine, you fuckers.

I second this. England's a nice place, and then we could co-op their experience with taking people over for later imperialism.
Plus, it would give my country some reason to be as crazy as it is for Kate Middleton's family life. ;p

Colour! Lets team up and take them over! xD
We can set SkarKrow up as the new king to help us rule!

 

[Colour Scientist]

We can set SkarKrow up as the new king to help us rule!

Excuse me?
Hell no, I got there first, their arses are mine.

 

[Karthak]

Brazil. The weather's nice, lots of subjects to crush under my nefarious bootheels, and I could feel good about myself by saving the rainforest...by flooding the damn place with hunter-killer drones, and collecting the skulls of poachers and illegal loggers for my "make Tamerlane look like an underachiever" project.

 

[Shock and Awe]

France, partially because "Haha, France" and partially because its just so pleasant.

 

[MysticSlayer]

France. I will dismantle their language, forbid romantic relationships (except for myself), and have no shortage of hot women to keep me company every night. I will also charge heavy taxes on anyone even looking at Eiffel Tower and will find ways to impose it on foreigners, so be prepared to kiss your Paris trip goodbye. Can't have any potential spies sneaking into the nation to figure out that I'm starting to set my sights on Italy next.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

We can set SkarKrow up as the new king to help us rule!

Excuse me?
Hell no, I got there first, their arses are mine.

Oh, fine.
How about this then?

We trade you some tanks, jets, and battle ships, and you give us Big Ben when you have succeeded?
I think it's a fair deal.

 

[The White Hunter]

England.

Just as payback.
Have a taste of your own medicine, you fuckers.

I second this. England's a nice place, and then we could co-op their experience with taking people over for later imperialism.
Plus, it would give my country some reason to be as crazy as it is for Kate Middleton's family life. ;p

Colour! Lets team up and take them over! xD
We can set SkarKrow up as the new king to help us rule!

I second this motion. I'll start the revolution from within and seize power.

We can set SkarKrow up as the new king to help us rule!

Excuse me?
Hell no, I got there first, their arses are mine.

Pl0x. Fite me!

OT: France!

Sorry, reflex.

Idk. Probably France actually cuz it's a nice place and I would like to rule over ti.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Oh, fine.
How about this then?

We trade you some tanks, jets, and battle ships, and you give us Big Ben when you have succeeded?
I think it's a fair deal.

I don't need your resources, get your own country, this ***** is mine.

"Haha, France".

I think "Haha France" is the best reason to invade a country ever.
Poor France!

 

[Angelblaze]

United States of America.


Time to fix this dump up.

First order of business, gather all population within a controlled area and ask question: Is there any of you who have a problem with a black female leader - not accounting to anything else?

Those who say yes?

Immediate 'population control' handling.
No racists, sexists in my country - and yes I realize that jumping to the conclusion that they are sexist/racist is rude and assumption clinging in and of itself but damn it this is my country now and this is how I operate.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

Canada, eh?

I like the stand-up comedians.

 

[Drummodino]

As an Australian, New Zealand. They really should stop pretending to be their own country and just join up with us already. We can trade, Kiwi birds for kangaroos!

 

[Imp_Emissary]

Oh, fine.
How about this then?

We trade you some tanks, jets, and battle ships, and you give us Big Ben when you have succeeded?
I think it's a fair deal.

I don't need your resources, get your own country, this ***** is mine.

"Haha, France".

I think "Haha France" is the best reason to invade a country ever.
Poor France!

Sometimes France has it coming.

Spoiler: Also,

[https://imageshack.com/i/0bynv2j]

You leave me with no other option. I tried to be fair, and helpful.

Spoiler: But now...

[https://imageshack.com/i/152z8vj]

As the aggressor, I will let you chose the challenge.

 

[Ninjamedic]

America, who else? If I fail to reform the country into a force for the future, then I'll just appoint myself An Ard-Kaiser[footnote]A portmanteau of Ard Ri (Irish High King) and Kaiser.[/footnote], declare it the my new Reich and then take on the world, though I'll have to make some changes to prepare my new nation first:

-Execute Piers Morgan.
-Transform Fox News into a propaganda station.
-Make the Tea Party into a cannon-fodder brigade.

Anyone have suggestions for my glorious campaign?

England.

Just as payback.
Have a taste of your own medicine, you fuckers.

I'd have always thought The Vatican in your case, you never struck me as nationalistic. Besides, that would put me in an... awkward position.

Colour! Lets team up and take them over! xD

Don't you encourage them!

 

[Barbas]

China. Its military and industrial power would be mine. Its armies would march to hell and back if I ordered it. Nobody would be suicidal enough to try and invade.

 

[JoJo]

Well, I guess it's time for my response:

Spoiler

Why? Well, you guys have some of the best scenery in the world, a huge variety of foods (though not enough curries, laws would have to be implemented to encourage more curry eating), all the best technology and weapons, what's not to love? Add that to early video game release dates and a bunch of guns I can gift to my henchman and the choice is obvious. King JoJo of America... I like the sound of that :-D

 

[ClockworkPenguin]

Norway. So that I can steal the Nobel Peace Prize. Because irony.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

Colour! Lets team up and take them over! xD

Don't you encourage them!

But it's fun!

Ah, don't worry. Instead, we got into a fight.
All I asked was for Big Ben.
It's not even a digital clock. ;p

Also;

America, who else? If I fail to reform the country into a force for the future, then I'll just appoint myself An Ard-Kaiser[footnote]A portmanteau of Ard Ri (Irish High King) and Kaiser.[/footnote], declare it the my new Reich and then take on the world, though I'll have to make some changes to prepare my new nation first:

-Execute Piers Morgan.
-Transform Fox News into a propaganda station.
-Make the Tea Party into a cannon-fodder brigade.

Anyone have suggestions for my glorious campaign?

I can tell you right now that number two on your list is already done.
You'll have to go to Australia and talk to Rupert Murdoch abut changing what they lie about. ;p

Also, why just Piers Morgan?

 

[Vegosiux]

Mauritius. Because it has a catchy name. I mean, my subject would be two letters away from being Martians! And besides, everyone else and their dogs are going to be invading the boring countries, so it should be easy.

Either that, or I'd pass a law that would state that every citizen, evvvvery citizen must be named "Maurice". Equality!