If you could drop at all and move... would you?

[IndomitableSam]

Theoretical question to start for everyone to debate in fun, but everyone can also just answer as per their own situation as well.

Say you're 30. You have a government job with good pay and great benefits. Say you've got a good rental townhouse with share with your sibling, your own car (paid off), great friends, etc.

Say you hate your job. Have for the last year or so. Can barely get out of bed in the morning to go to work. Take sick days all the time because the thought of going to that job is too depressing. Are actually depressed because of your job. Say your parents retired last year and moved away to somewhere warm and beautiful and not terribly expensive. Say you've got about $15,000 of money not in RRSPs for a rainy day. Say your parents have said "we miss you" and... "we would be willing to find a place big enough for you to live with us out here until you found work".

... Say you live in the current motherfucking Polar Vortex where it's been -40(its the same C and F) for the past motherfucking month, and it's barely motherfucking January. I need another motherfucking in there, three isn't enough. ************. ... Say your city decided last year to save money and not properly plow and sand the streets, so every day you go to work there are literally (I am not kidding) accidents left and right and you spun out into a snowbank the other day yourself and thankfully only shattered part of your bumper and didn't hit anyone else.

So, my sister and I are currently debating this. It's pretty much a forgone conclusion, actually. The only catch is out cat. He's old and has health problems (is on medication), but is still active, eats and plays and keeps a regular bathroom schedule. The vet is coming next week to check him over to see if it's safe for him to travel. When we moved him from my parent's house to ours - a 45 minute drive - he cried the whole way, threw up twice, peed himself and was breathing so hard we thought he'd had a heart attack. So we're waiting to see if he's healthy enough to be tranq'ed and what kind of tranq he can take... will he survive a plane ride that would take 6+ hours door to door? Would it be better to take him in a car and mildly sedate him? Do my parents wait until spring/summer and rent an RV and come out so he can be taken back that way so he's not in a confined space and can move? (They'd also bring the other cat, whom we separated him from when they moved.)

So... no decisions can be made until we see the vet. But I'm ready to go tomorrow. Aside from all the packing and such. I don't want to wait months which is probably the case, as I have been wanting to quit my job for a year now. I'm well aware if I went back to living with my parents we'd be screaming at each other in 5 minutes and I would find an apartment the instant I got a job (they're actually about $300/month cheaper there than here).


BASICALLY: Say you have the chance to drop everything and start over, away from your friends and leaving your 'perfect' career that you hate... do you? Remember, you have someone to stay with until you get on your feet out there. And if yes or no, what's stopping you from leaving right this second? ... Also, any tips or unforeseen situations that arose when you did others should be aware of?

 

[dyre]

Hmm, wouldn't it be smarter to tough it out for a few weeks/months while looking for a new job? You've already been wanting to quit for a year...maybe give yourself a few more weeks to find a new job before leaving your current one, so you can leave to a better situation than "unemployed, living in parents' house."

I guess what would stop me from "dropping everything" in your position is a desire to be financially independent if possible.

 

[Aris Khandr]

I did it in July. Packed up everything important, moved twelve hours away from everything I've known, and am now living in the middle of the "motherfucking Polar Vortex". Other than that, it has been for the best. I'm starting school in a couple of weeks, and generally happier than I had been before. It sounds like you have a good safety net in place, I say go for it.

But seriously, the hell with all of this snow. Get out while you can!

 

[Miyenne]

I'm her sister. I don't have anything keeping me here either, but the only thing I'm worried about is the cat. I don't want to be directly responsible for his death. He doesn't take to change well at all. Hell, even moving furniture around upsets him.

I'm kinda apathetic about the whole thing, but I know living somewhere where it's still green and you only need a sweater instead of a parka and the snow piles are taller than me would be fantastic.

But, my baby. I don't want him to be so stressed out that he could die. I don't want to take him on a plane. He hates cars, an RV would barely be better, even with someone holding him there in the back with the other cat he so obviously misses there too.

It's a complicated situation.

 

[Raikas]

Honestly, the focus on the weather makes me raise an eyebrow - I'm all for making the big moves (I've moved Toronto - Calgary - Hamilton over the past 8 years and I'm now moving to the US), but the weather focus seems a little strange to me. But in general, yeah, do it - better to go for it than regret it later when you might have other things like kids or sickly parents keeping you in one spot. Always better/easier to have a job in place at the new location before you go though.

On the cat front, I did move when my dog was dying, so I flew my 13-year-old Staffordshire Terrier from Calgary to Toronto and she managed it - I wouldn't have wanted to do it as a drive though, that seems like it would be dragging out the pain. But obviously your pet may be totally different.

So where are you going? Vancouver? Or out of the country? Because if you're leaving Canada your cat might not be able to get the international veterinary certificate (had it done for my current dog back in September). If you're just driving across a border to the US they might not ask for it, but they can (and my experience has been that they always do if you're flying).

 

[Ryotknife]

I did it in July. Packed up everything important, moved twelve hours away from everything I've known, and am now living in the middle of the "motherfucking Polar Vortex". Other than that, it has been for the best. I'm starting school in a couple of weeks, and generally happier than I had been before. It sounds like you have a good safety net in place, I say go for it.

But seriously, the hell with all of this snow. Get out while you can!

Sadly, this snow is what our winters are SUPPOSE to be like. We have just been spoiled for the past few years with extremely mild winters.

onto the topic at hand, you have a government job with great pay and benefits and you hate it? Not possible. You count your lucky stars that you have such a job! Not to mention government workers get more holidays off than kids at school! And if they have to work on the holidays they get TRIPLE overtime. Yes, you heard that right. TRIPLE. Unless your job involves torturing babies all day who in their right mind would leave that?

Thankfully moving is pretty easy in the US, ive done it quite a few times. Completely starting over can be a bit...harsh...in terms of social life however.

 

[Frezzato]

Hmm, wouldn't it be smarter to tough it out for a few weeks/months while looking for a new job? You've already been wanting to quit for a year...maybe give yourself a few more weeks to find a new job before leaving your current one, so you can leave to a better situation than "unemployed, living in parents' house."

I guess what would stop me from "dropping everything" in your position is a desire to be financially independent if possible.

I'm with Dyre on this one. I like his/her advice. Admittedly that's probably because Dyre's avatar could be an image of an F-14 from VFA-14, the Tophatters.

I still would like to know why you hate the job so much. And the weather seems to be a relatively recent complaint. I dunno, just as long as you don't move just because of the weather. There's "nice" weather down here in South Florida, but the people are jerks. And by jerks I mean the idiotic kind. Did your Burmese Python grow too large to handle? Have you considered releasing him into the Everglades?

Seriously though. I can understand the doldrums of a government job. I spent a year in a permanent trailer working for the local school board. It was mind numbing. But if there are opportunities there I wouldn't just let your current job run you out of town. You have an opportunity to look for jobs in TWO places now. I would take full advantage of that. Please don't quit your job just yet.

 

[Uhura]

BASICALLY: Say you have the chance to drop everything and start over, away from your friends and leaving your 'perfect' career that you hate... do you?

If I were in your situation, I would leave. It doesn't really matter if your career is "perfect" on paper if you don't actually enjoy what you are doing. This thing (you hating your job) is a theme that comes up regularly in your posts and it doesn't sound like the situation is getting any better. I'd suggest that you see what the vet says about your cat and try to work out some kind of a plan to get the kitty to your parents' house safely. I'd imagine you will feel a lot better once you make the decision to leave, so don't fret if you have to wait for a few months to do the RV thing. You can spend those months searching for a new job and having farewell parties with your friends.

Come spring and you and your sister can get out of there.

Spoiler

 

[Ryotknife]

Honestly, the focus on the weather makes me raise an eyebrow - I'm all for making the big moves (I've moved Toronto - Calgary - Hamilton over the past 8 years and I'm now moving to the US), but the weather focus seems a little strange to me. But in general, yeah, do it - better to go for it than regret it later when you might have other things like kids or sickly parents keeping you in one spot.

On the cat front, I did move when my dog was dying, so I flew my 13-year-old Staffordshire Terrier from Calgary to Toronto and she managed it - I wouldn't have wanted to do it as a drive though, that seems like it would be dragging out the pain. But obviously your pet may be totally different.

So where are you going? Vancouver? Or out of the country? Because if you're leaving Canada your cat might not be able to get the international veterinary certificate (had it done for my current dog back in September). If you're just driving across a border to the US they might not ask for it, but they can (and my experience has been that they always do if you're flying).

Not sure what it is like in Canada, but in the US the weather changes pretty drastically when you move around. I moved from New York State to Alabama (on the Gulf of Mexico) for a few years, and it was like moving to an alien planet. The worse day of my life, was when I worked all day outside in 115 F (46 C) with 80% humidity. Every article of clothing was saturated with my own sweat, from my shirt to my socks and underwear. I drank over 7 liters of water and I was still dehydrated. I went home and slept at 3:30 pm, and slept to 6 am when I had to wake up for work again.

that is not even getting into the freak storms that appear out of nowhere. It was a beautiful day outside, clear blue skies, birds singing, yadda yadda yadda. There was one cloud in the entire sky that was MAYBE 1 mile diameter (more like .5 miles). A bit weird but I thought nothing of it. When the cloud passed overhead the winds surged to about 35 mph (56 kph), the rain was coming down so hard that it was difficult to see. It was like being trapped in a monsoon. 15 minutes later, no wind and clear blue skies again.

Of course, honorable mention goes to the wildlife that continually seeks to kill you. Poisonous snakes, poisonous spiders, fire ants, alligators, killer bees.

And lest we forget, the wonderful hurricanes and tornadoes that plague that area on a yearly basis. Hell, even the dirt is the wrong color. The dirt is RED down there. Not brown, RED. what is this? Mars?

Capcha: see red

#$^& you capcha.

 

[IndomitableSam]

Supportive message

Thanks for the reply - it makes me feel a lot better to hear someone else say it.

... I also admit to watching that whole video. >.>

I expect my mood will get a bit better soon as it's supposed to warm up for a week or so, get - well - motherfucking cold again for a few days, then hopefully go back to normal temperatures. That and the sun will be coming up earlier every day, too. Really depressing to go to work and come home in the dark.

Thanks for the pick-me-up.

 

[Raikas]

Not sure what it is like in Canada, but in the US the weather changes pretty drastically when you move around. I moved from New York State to Alabama (on the Gulf of Mexico) for a few years, and it was like moving to an alien planet.

Yeah, it's the same here - for example I've always said that 5°C in Toronto feels the same as -15°C in Calgary because of the difference in humidity. That said though (and based on their profile the OP is in Manitoba) aside from a few areas in BC they'll be in for miserable winters almost everywhere if they stay in the country - just different kinds of miserable.

 

[IndomitableSam]

Snip

Quoting a few people so cutting out actual posts.

Weather has always been in issue - we're in Manitoba, Canada, so from about mid December to March, it's generally -20 and we have snow from late October/Early November though April, usually. It's only above freezing from April through mid October, usually. As for the cat, we'll see what the vet says. My dad has volunteered to fly out, take the cat and get him to their place if needed so he doesn't even have to go through the stress of us packing and having movers around him and such. And where we're going would be Vancouver Island. There are actually a decent number of jobs in my field that come up every year there, so I probably won't be underemployed for long.

Snip

As for our Winters, we typically get maybe 10-15 days of -30C or colder temperatures through the whole winter. It's been like that for about 4 weeks now and our coldest days usually come sometime in January, so it's not fun. 2011 was mild to the extreme. Last year was normal temps, but it snowed very early and we still had snow on the ground into May. So it sucked. As for the job... yeah, I signed on for a job that doesn't much resemble what I do. I was told there would be a lot of web development (content) and social media and training and such... whereas most of my time is spreadsheets. I'm a librarian, if that helps. I hardly even get to work with people. It's pretty much destroyed my love for the career because I'm not doing what I wanted to do. I took the job after I'd left a school library and had been unemployed for a while on a lot of those fun promises. Now? I sit at a desk in a back office most of the day. I get 3 weeks paid vacation and up to 4 weeks unpaid (they take off a flat amount every paycheque depending on how many days I take). We don't work Holidays, and if they close the buildings for things like Christmas Eve being on a Monday and they don't want to heat the buildings for one day, they make us make up the time even if we have no say in coming to work. So then we have to work extra long hours until the time is made up.

Snip

Think I answered most of your thoughts above. I'm not moving just for the weather (but it is a large part of it, see above)- my parents have moved out there, and, actually, a lot of my other family is located out there as well. My best friend would actually also like to move out there as her family lives out there too, but she has to wait for her daughter to get older as she and the father are not together. I've had long discussions with my friends about leaving, so that's been addressed. We'd be moving to a town of about 60,000 people (or smaller - a few thousand - if we move to the town my parents live in about 20 minutes away from 'the city')- I've always wanted to live in a small town - I've actually job hunted across Canada in smaller towns and cities. I was offered a job in Lethbridge, but declined due to lower pay and benefits and moving the cat and I really, really regret it. Now I'm at the end of my rope and am done.

As for jobs where I currently live... not in my field. As a librarian, I can only work in schools or the government The public library system has a fucked up union so I would have to start off as a library page which is about 4-10 hours a week minimum wage. They don't hire outside, they only hire from within. I did a practicum there and was told to stay away from the system as well by the people who worked there.

...

All in all, thanks for the thoughts guys. This has been ruminating for months now - and the moving away from this city has been in the works for a few years, really. It's just finally almost time to start laying solid plans and following through, so things are getting real.

 

[Frezzato]

snip

Oh, okay. Vancouver Island. In that case, I would go for it. You might be trading snow for rain though, but when I lived in Seattle, it seemed that everyone who visited from Vancouver was just...nice. There's no other way of putting it.

I've moved, weirdly enough several times at the longest distance possible, between Florida, Boston, LA, Seattle, etc. The strangest thing is that I always ask myself after arriving "why the hell did I pack that?". It certainly can't hurt to start considering things you would be willing to part with. Not furniture though. I had quite a few retro antiques that I still regret parting with, i.e. vintage 50's table with ridged aluminum siding, complete with matching chairs and center leaf. Then again I wonder where you would keep all your stuff should you decide to stay with the folks for a while. To lessen the stress of moving, perhaps it would benefit you to consider storage in Vancouver.

Bah, that's just details though. I tend to get stuck on them, while the vast majority of people I know just seem to wing it. Of course, it's usually me that ends up helping them move

 

[skywolfblue]

A frail old cat is all that's holding your life back? I realize people can be attached to their pets, but that sounds a little extreme. Is it callous to suggest putting it down?

Ironically, way up here in the Frozen north of Alaska, temperatures have been a perfect 40 degrees these past few days.

I love Alaska, I don't think I'd want to live anywhere else. The beauty makes up for the cold, and the cold is easy to layer for, unlike the heat. I hate 90 degree + weather.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I would do it. Life and happiness is more important than financial comfort to me. Skills I've accumulated throughout my time on Earth aren't just going to vanish because I made a gigantic shift in lifestyle and location. It'll be tough adjusting, sure, but don't waste your time. You've got too little of it to spare for a job you hate.

You will be moving to a place where, if you get work, you probably will be paid far less with less benefits. You have to weigh that against how awful you feel in your current circumstances and how willing you are to drop some luxuries in life. Ditch cable, no more internet for a while, never eating out, etc.

I could do it. It wouldn't be an easy decision and it would take a long time to come to the right choice. If the only thing that is keeping you where you are is the money and your friends... I'd do it. Friends aren't gone forever after a move, there's always mailing letters and possibly phone calls. If they're true friends, they will like to hear from you from time to time and will write back on their own initiative. The weather wouldn't be a factor for me (I've got prairie skin) but family is important to me. I don't think my folks are moving out of Saskatchewan though.

Well, best of luck and be smart with your money. We aren't locked into the lives we've created for ourselves where we live, we can uproot and change for the better. I hope you end up happy at the end!

 

[IndomitableSam]

snip

Oh, okay. Vancouver Island. In that case, I would go for it. You might be trading snow for rain though, but when I lived in Seattle, it seemed that everyone who visited from Vancouver was just...nice. There's no other way of putting it.

I've moved, weirdly enough several times at the longest distance possible, between Florida, Boston, LA, Seattle, etc. The strangest thing is that I always ask myself after arriving "why the hell did I pack that?". It certainly can't hurt to start considering things you would be willing to part with. Not furniture though. I had quite a few retro antiques that I still regret parting with, i.e. vintage 50's table with ridged aluminum siding, complete with matching chairs and center leaf. Then again I wonder where you would keep all your stuff should you decide to stay with the folks for a while. To lessen the stress of moving, perhaps it would benefit you to consider storage in Vancouver.

Bah, that's just details though. I tend to get stuck on them, while the vast majority of people I know just seem to wing it. Of course, it's usually me that ends up helping them move

Yea, it'll be up near Nanaimo. Apparently my parents have been having some sunny days and it's only dipped below freezing a couple times, and then people were freaking out.

We have some antique furniture as well - table (and newer chairs), buffet, drawing desk, sewing desk, secretary desk/cabinet that we'll take. We'll take our mattresses and leave behind box springs, and we're leaving our couch and chair and tv stand as they're not worth the cost of moving. We probably will take one cheapy desk with us as well, but not much furniture beyond those. I believe we can fit everything into a 15' trailer. We fit all our stuff in a 15', a van, and two cars when we moved last time... and that was with bringing box springs and a sectional couch (the part with the footstool attached at one end), too. As well as a giant 3x4foot footstool. So I figure no couch and box springs, and adding the secretary desk and sewing desk (it's only like 3x2 feet) we should be fine. And minus a broken-down desk as it's been taken apart so many times that we don't think it'll be put together again and stay together. Oh, right. Add on a single size bed as well. Still, that with the box is the size of one queen size mattress.

We've gone through lots of downsizing before (yay moves) and don't have a attachment to a lot of things, so we'll make it all fit into two cars and a moving truck/POD/thing.

As for room for storage... there really isn't a worry. My parents are retired in style and their current house is 1700 square feet for just the two of them and a cat. And they moved out there with one 15' trailer. Seriously - they emptied out an entire 2-storey house we'd owned for 28 years and left with one trailer. Even after buying furniture out there, the place still echoes every time I talk to them on Skype. They'll be moving in May, though - so that does pose a bit of a problem if we go before then. For after that they're trying to find a place with a granny suite.

 

[Frezzato]

snip

Hmm. I do recall that when I left Boston over ten years ago, and also during May, that it was STILL. FREAKING. SNOWING. So, suffer through another winter with the possibility that the streets will be filled with brown, frozen slush while you're packing, or move sooner. I suspect that your instincts--as well as Uhura's, are right.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I would in a heartbeat and I suggest you do too. You're miserable where you are now and have a shot at being less miserable.
Happiness is more important than a "perfect" job you hate.

Do whatever you need to to be happy

 

[Belaam]

A perfect career is not one that you hate.

I went through about half a dozen careers before I found one I love. It pays less than three of them, but is a level of challenging I enjoy, different every day, and while exceedingly stressful at times, also gives me occasional chunks of downtime to recover and reinvest myself in the job.

That, said, expect that where ever you go, the weather will not be exactly what you like.

However, it sounds like no spouse/kids who also need to be acclimated and okay with the move, so I'd say this is a good time to move. I love my job, but seriously considering doing it in another part of the country/world is generally on hold unless I can get my wife to agree to be more than an 8 hour drive from her parents (we're currently at 3.5 hours) and being okay with uprooting my daughters.

 

[Vale]

Done that.
Didn't improve jack shit because the problem was never with my situation, it was me being a worthless ****.
I'd say if you can hold a job at all, you're set up to make something decent of moving, so go for it.