If you could say anything to yourself from the past, what would you say?

[Callate]

Wear your backpack over both shoulders or your back will regret it later.

Buy Google. Don't listen to what anyone else says. Buy Google. You can buy 3DO when you're a teenager if you want, but sell it when it gets above about 60. Trip Hawkins may talk a big bag, but he's in over his head.

Minor in something creative and major in computer science/math. Yes, it's going to be harder on you mentally, but at the least you won't be burnt out on doing something you enjoy by the flakes and idiots in the department you think you're going to major in.

She hates herself. If you show her you care about her, she'll hate you, too. It sucks, but that's where she is in her life. You can keep her at arm's length or you can push her away; don't draw her close or you'll regret it.

Carry a quarter with you your Junior year of high school. You'll know who to give it to when the time comes. Nothing may come of it, but you'll feel better about yourself at a point when that would be a good thing.

 

[Dethenger]

Dear past me:

No spoilers! Have fun.

- Future You

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

Hmm I will have to go with, when having sex with another man's wife, check her Vicar father in law isn't asleep in the wing armchair first. I think that just about covers it.

That's just sick, why would you have wanted him awake for that?

OT: If I'm learning anything from this thread it's that I should make the most out of the free health care I get and actually go to the doctor every now and then.

2009 Almighty Aardvark - Stop being such a selfish prick and putting it out of your mind, this is way harder for her than you. Let yourself show some bloody emotion for her while you still can

2011 Almighty Aardvark - Two friends are going to like you at the same time. No matter what [CENSORED] tells you, don't rush your decision, [CENSORED] is completely blowing things out of proportion and you're going to spend more than a half a year wondering if you chose right.

 

[Albino Boo]

Hmm I will have to go with, when having sex with another man's wife, check her Vicar father in law isn't asleep in the wing armchair first. I think that just about covers it.

That's just sick, why would you have wanted him awake for that?

Well he paid for a live show and he was most upset he slept through it.

 

[Private Custard]

Date: November 1998

Message: That guy that's about to smash a large ashtray around your head, yeah him, that dodgy looking one with his five dodgy looking friends. When they're done, make sure you don't go to the police this time. The offer you'll get from your drug dealer friend will be a far better option and the punishment will be just that. Trust me, you'll feel better for it.

Cheers, your future self.

 

[Dragonclaw]

1988

You know little Dragonclaw, you're into a ton of sci-fi / time travel stuff so you know how this goes right? We've looked at the future and realize that every litle choice you make will affect a million other choices, not just yours, but those of friends and everyone around you...

Screw that!

Dude seriously we're gonna jack everything up! I'm talking the full on, this may create an alternate universe level of armageddon in our circle of freinds. How badly? I'm talking giving you advice on some of the girls you could have made it work with, and avoiding ones that were going to be a train wreck...we're going to drop some 'friends' before they have the chance to screw some things up and stick with the friends that are still like brothers to this day. I'm not going to lie, some people's lives will crash & burn. There are people that will never meet among friends, marriages will be wiped from ever happening, there are children that will not be born, but you know what...those kids might still happen to the right people, and the marriages that aren't happening are jacked up ones anyway, we've talked this over with the poeple that matter and everyone is on board with this. Everyone will be happier...exept for those who we shouldn't have given a shit about in the first place, but who really cares about them? Seriopusly F them man! Be happy, be you, it's up to you now man...here's the complete "smashing butterfly effect" chart, who to keep, who to drop, and where to be at just the right time to make the best of it...and some lottery numbers with dates to play them on, even with these numbers...no one who isn't on the 'keep these guys close' list should EVER know.

 

[Erttheking]

To me from one month ago

The winning Powerball numbers are XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

[Mrkillhappy]

2013 self to 2005 self cheer up it get's better all you have to do is improve your self hygiene, learn to play the guitar, and girls will find you attractive also don't sell your old video games ever.

2013 self to 2009 self quit acting like a hippie ya idiot.

2013 self to 2010 self hang out with Hanna more she is cool, also ask out Zoey and don't shit around during your first year of collage also major in physics you are good at it.

2013 self to 2012 self don't take summer courses you'll fuck up you gpa a bit.

 

[The GEL]

"They're going to make another Street Fighter and it's going to get HUGE! There's like more than 20 different Street Fighter games now! ...but Crabby Claws (Geki) is never going to be playable. Ever. Sorry. OH! But you CAN get Street Fighter on TurboGrafX CD! It's called Fighting Street for some reason though (involving legal loop holes and stupid crap). Also, do NOT bother with the home version Street Fighter II as soon as it comes out. Wait for Champion Edition or Turbo so that way you can play as Vega. Trust me, Vega is the next best thing."

*REALLY* wish I had known about Fighting Street as a kid and REALLY wish I hadn't wasted my money on vanilla SF2. Had I waited for Champion Edition I might actually be GOOD at fighting games!

EDIT: "...and stick with Street Fighter 3. People will warm up to it EVENTUALLY. But LEARN TO PARRY."

 

[Sacred_Flame]

Hey SacredFlame of yesteryear,

See these? They're books and movies and get to reading and watching them because you'll love them as much as video games.

Stay cool and appreciate everybody for who they are. Talk and hang out with them to branch out.

Don't be so awkward around girls. Have some confidence.

Finally, love yourself for who you are.

 

[FalloutJack]

"I am you from the future. Follow me! There's no time to explain!"

 

[bojackx]

Dear Bojackx of 2005,
That mat on the floor is not going to behave like your trampoline when you jump onto it from 2 metres above and land on your butt, you're just going to break your arm.

Dear Bojackx of 2010,
KISS HER YOU MORON! She JUST said she wouldn't mind if you kissed her, why the fuck are you just laying ther-stop averting your gaze! Jesus Christ, you're such a retard.

Dear Bojackx of 2011,
Your annoying friend sure is annoying, but he probably has a point about the whole "learn to make friends before you go to uni, where you'll have to do it to survive" because those 3 weeks you spend in Liverpool next year are awful.
P.S. Your let's plays make you look like a ponce.

Yours sincerely,
An infinitely smarter version of you.

 

[Edguy]

If I change the past, then either I change some timeline that will not affect my own, or I erase my own existence. Pass.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

If you're going to commit crimes for fun choose crimes that harm yourself over crimes that harm others. I was a vandal and an all around thug around the time I first joined this site.

 

[JemothSkarii]

Dear Jemoth of 2007: You will meet a girl by the screen-name of Neko Princess Izuzu on that writing website you frequent. She will fall for you and she is single. Go out with her until she meets a guy named Josiah, if you keep going you'll be on and off until 2012 where you finally just break away and become a traumatized alcoholic. A friend who you didn't know was your best friend will help you out of it though, but it isn't worth it regardless.

Dear Jemoth of 2008/9 (I don't remember, the alochol and anti-depressants): There will be a kid called Adam, you will be best friends until 2012 when he runs off with your ex, but if you take the advice above, you may remain friends.

Dear Jemoth of 2000: When someone teases you or tries manipulating you, say something. You will be betrayed much worse later in life and that will lead to horrible anger issues. Do NOT bottle that up.

Dear Jemoth of 2008: Amy likes you, you can try it out and you might like it, but if you're like me now the girl you get is pretty fuckin ballin despite the distance.

Death Jemoth of 2012: You will lose your virginity in a hotel in Georgia at Age 20. You will do pretty good despite your insecurity and she will come out of it content. However, while that is happening, the correct answer to 'You've lost your virginity, how do you feel?' is not 'Yay'. She will tease you about it for as long as she can.

Oh, and for fuck's sake, keep going to the gym and swimming, and pay attention to that 2007 entry, it will RUIN you otherwise to the point you're an anti-social NEET with about three friends in the country chatting about your regrets on forums.

 

[thking89]

dear thking89 dont buy a new toyota it will fall a part and you lose you job when it does not start for the 7 time in to weeks

ps dont try to paint you old toyota you brake you knee and need a new knee and never walk right again and you lose your new job you just got.You know what just dont buy any of the 6 toyota i got they all %$*@ you over

 

[lacktheknack]

Eevee,

He will ruin your life and make you miserable. You deserve better than that. Also, you can't dye black hair bright red ya daft *****.

Red on black... ooohhhhhh...

OT: "Dear lacktheknack in 2010: You know what? Maybe you should go into music after all. Sincerely: lacktheknack 2013.

PS: Learn Russian. Just... do it."

 

[Ambitiousmould]

"Hey, Ambitiousmould, don't hand your friend that homemade crossbow to hold while you set up a target, because he will accidentally shoot you in the leg with. And it will hurt."

or

"DO NOT TAKE FUCKING CHEMISTRY AT AS LEVEL! SHE LIED TO US! YOU WILL NOT 'walk through this course' DON'T FUCKING DO IT!"

or

"Here are the lottery numbers for year X, try not to spend it on that jelly-filled pool we've always wanted"

or

"Here are some pictures of the future, explain to our parent's that these are photos of the future from a time-traveller. Then Say that if you don't move out of Barnsley, terrible, terrible things will happen. Of course they won't belive you, until the events in the photos occur, then they will, and you can get your arse out of that god-forsaken, chav ridden pit of despair and misery most unholy. Then, in your new house, place a large-backed leather chair in front of a fireplace, ensuring that the light casts a shadow that hides your face except for your mouth, form a finger pyramid, chuckle quietly and say 'Just as planned'."

EDIT: "If you say, 'let future Ambtiousmould deal with it' or 'That's future Ambitiousmould's problem' ONE MORE FUCKING TIME, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU/ME! I am sick to the back teeth with that shit, so behave or I swear I'll smash your fucking teeth in, you irresponisble little shite".

 

[Rainforce]

to Rainforce, 1996: SUCKS TO BE YOU.
No, actually, I am really sorry for all the years of shit you will go through and how it will take you forever to escape it, losing quite a bit and gaining nothing at all in the process. Also you are right about a lot of things, even if nobody gives a shit about your perspective and standards. The fact that you're only 6 years old doesn't help, either.

to Rainforce, 2009: YOU FAILED.

to Rainforce, 2011: YOU SUCCEEDED, despite the odds being completely against you. well done O_O

 

[TwoSidesOneCoin]

Hey younger version of me! Stop being so fucking lazy or I'm going to come back again and kill your dumbass! Half-right! Face! Front-Leaning-Rest Position! MOVE! Now start pushing until I get tired!