If you could say anything to yourself from the past, what would you say?

[Gothproxy]

"Join the Air Force, kid. Seriously. Don't join the Army and then go off to war for 3 years. It'll f*&k you up royally and you'll spend years getting right again. Be that smart guy I know you are, go for a tech job in computers....trust me. You are going to eventually, but start now. Make the money and retire early."

"Oh, and avoid over-drinking at all costs. Just go with me on this one."

 

[Darknacht]

Here is 20 years of stock charts. Go nuts.

Instead of cashing out those bonds and dumping it into a new car and fixer-upper house you'll eventually sell at a mild profit, BUY GOOGLE STOCK. Trust me.

"And speaking of lucrative...buy stock in in 'Google' and 'Apple' as soon as you can."

If you can, convince your parents to invest in that new-fangled "Google" thing.

To my 8 year old self: Invest in google!

If you are going to give your past self investing advice don't tell yourself to buy Google, you will at best make ten times your original investment and with most successful startups you can make hundreds of times your original investment.

 

[Mads Jurgensen]

2013 me to 2006 me
When you're at that rugby party, you'll meet a girl that you offer a drink. She wants you, just go for it. You'll have more time with your first lay, instead of the first time being a 10 minuted rushed thing because she has to leave.

2013 me to 2006 me
Don't start a relationship with Nina, shes very, very boring in bed.

2013 me to 2008 me

Don't bother enrolling into High School, you're going to drop out anyway after a year, and then join the army. Instead just take a working year and save up some money, then join the army.

2013 me to 2008 me

Don't bother talking to Charlotte, she has issues... Like, serious issues.

2013 me to 2011 me

Caucasian Maria wants you, not asian Maria. Go for it, shes a great lay... Also Jauqline wants you, you'll meet her spontanously outside your apartment, keep in touch even though you don't like her, it's worth it.

2013 me to 2012 me

Don't fall in love with Emily. You'll be heartbroken as fuck mate. Just enjoy the time you have with her, but always keep in mind that she doesn't see you like anything but a fuck buddy while she studies abroad in Europe... Also her political stand points are fucked up...

2013 me to 2012 me, again...

Remember that your cousin is a compulsive liar? Yeah, he still is. Don't trust a fucking word he says about Emily's sister.

2013 me to 2013 me.

For fucks sake, just ask Yasemin out already.

 

[Mads Jurgensen]

It might not be such a good idea to invade Russia during the winter.
You may not believe it, but it's not butter.

I see what you did there.

 

[Patrick Buck]

First I would give actual advice, like look out for my ex...
Then I would give the crazy advise... like: "Beware the sixth day of the 9th month, they will come for you then. Run."
So basically I'd just Prank myself. >

 

[Finbark]

To me approximately 6 months ago,
No, smoking pot after school "just to wind down" isn't a good idea. Weed is addictive and will fuck over your education.

Then again I now realize that I'd rather pursue art, so hey, smoke it up; just don't waste $600 on shitty weed...

 

[iseko]

You did everything perfect, keep being awesome!

 

[Dangit2019]

Dear Dangit2019,

I'm gonna make this quick, so listen close:

1. Stop worrying about how manly you are, instead read more and embrace your whiteness.

2. Seriously watch your grades in mat and chemistry sophomore year.

And finally, avoid My Little Pony at all costs. Stop laughing. I am dead serious; not even once out of curiosity.

 

[Me55enger]

"The sex ain't worth it."

OR

"11 16 24 28 40 02 05"

 

[Worgen]

Buy stock in apple and sell it between 2012 and 2013 Also sell your nintendo stock in early 2008.

 

[JarinArenos]

To Jarin - 2007: Just give up and ask her to move, man. You're doing nothing but torturing both of you for another couple years. It's worth the effort.

To Jarin - 2002: Get your distraction problems together and finish your goddamn degree. Medication isn't a mark of shame if you actually need it. Also, Jen will break your heart (even if it wasn't her fault). Just FYI.

To Jarin - 1999: Dude, she's crazy. RUN.

To Jarin - 1995: Quit sleeping through Algebra, your hazy grip on the subject will haunt you for decades. Also grow a spine. School bullies are pansies.

 

[Rook]

Hey, it's you...s'up. So yeah...the summer of 2010, dude, she fuckin' wants you. Every time she does that, she wants you to feel hers back. FUCKING. DO IT! Also, make sure you let your "best friend" move. Seriously, don't let the whole 2010 Summer thing have a weird knock-off effect where you don't let him go. that next summer will be one of the most depressing, heart-wrenching and isolated times of your life, but you end up coming out with one of the best and most caring friends you've ever had. Seriously, she's amazing. And you freaking make sure she is kept safe. She's lost a lot. You also come out with some awesome psychological skills and start understanding a hell of a lot more about people.

Also, maybe lay off the Rage Against the Machine a bit in '09, you start swearing like a ************ and it never fully goes away.

Please dear God talk to Jordan-Anna. I know its been a while but after even after eight years, you damn-near love her. Trust me, she's wasn't imaginary! Just find her, track her down, and say hello.

And lastly, if you truly messed up with Anna and you're torn between who to take in 2013, just pick your friend. Don't let yourself be manipulated by others into taking someone you don't even want to. Seriously, you don't even talk to who they're suggesting. TAKE YOUR BEST FRIEND! She's hoping you will the entire time, and gets upset when you ask someone else.

Main message: NEVER UPSET THAT GIRL! That one who takes you on as the most important person ever and takes care of her. Sure, you're never more than friends, but it'll be hell and worse without her. She means everything, and if she is ever upset while you sit knowingly by, so help me God, I will come back there and personally fuck you up. Also, just damn hug her on her 18th, she needs it.

 

[ssgt splatter]

Dear past self, get into an exercise routine of some sort.

Oh and also, the winning lottery numbers the last week of April of 2013 were

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Here are the results to every sports game in the next 10 years, the stock charts of the next 20 years and the Lotto numbers.
Now, if I get back to my time and am not immediately surrounded by a personal guard of norwgian lesbians, I will be very dissapointed young man.


Something along those lines...

 

[Kevlar Eater]

To Kevlar Eater - 2004: In the event that a tomboy asks who you like in school, say you like *her*. Very good chance she'll like you back.

 

[SamtheDeathclaw]

Dear Sam, circa 2008-2010,
STOP
Love, Sam, circa 2013.
p.s., buck up. It gets a lot worse before it even starts to maybe kind of get better.
p.p.s., I'm breaking the laws of physics to send this. You should probably listen.

 

[Queen Michael]

It doesn't matter how much you may insist that all manga is worth reading just because it's manga and that in itself makes it wonderful. That's not true for Hot Gimmick. It's trash. Don't read it.

 

[BM19]

To Me in middle school:

Drink water, not soda. Go for a run whenever you can fit it in -- I KNOW you're not doing anything else. Also, start lifting weights. Yes, I know, we are very awkward at that age. If you don't want to be awkward later when it matters, start improving your damn self.
Also, stay away from Lauren. It's not going to work out -- don't even try it. Nothing good can come from there.

Love,
Me.

PS: Stop fantasizing about dating every girl you meet or shows the slightest bit of interest in you. It's not healthy.

 

[Kingjackl]

I once got a letter from my past self. All he did was insult me passive-aggressively, so I have officially cut ties with the bastard.

 

[mbarker]

Mat

Don't become a scientist go into Accounting
and don't adopt any pets.

Mat