Interesting places, you say?kailus13 said:
Santa is just marking one more off his naughty list.
Don't mind me
If You Found Santa In Your House, What Would You Do?
- Thread starter The White Hunter
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Santa is just marking one more off his naughty list.
Don't mind me
Well first thing, I would called the police unless he proved himself to be the real deal aka show some magic. Second thing, I would asked him where the hell are my presents for all the years he missed me out on (I did believe in him as a kid) but in saying so I would accept if I was on the naughty list or for the fact I had stop believing in him as excuses for the lack of present.
First point, how do I know it's actually Santa and not just some nut in a Santa costume. Either way, reaction one is aim shotgun and demand explanations. Assuming he proves he's Santa (most likely through magical shotgun disarming), a. apologize for aiming a thundering deathwand at his organs and b. let him go about his night. He's very busy, and also filled with magical powers. I'm not crazy enough to think I'm gonna beat an icy Christmas wizard-saint in any kind of wager or contest.
"Hey dude, what's up?"
Santa: You are, apparently. Why do you stay up so late all the time?
"It's just a habit of mine. Doesn't interfere with work or anything. So, how's things?"
Santa: I'm jolly.
"So, just out of curiosity-"
Santa: Bringing toys to the world in a single night? Time travel.
"Cool. So, did you bring Hobbes presents?"
Santa: *Quirks an eyebrow* 'Hobbes presents'?
*Laughs* "Sorry, had to. So, would you like a cookie? Dad makes these great teacakes, edible fruitcake too."
Santa: And rumballs, yes. I'd ask for a beer, but sleigh-driving under the influence is a bad practice. You know that song 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer'?
"Yeah?"
Santa: That's why.
"Ohhh..."
(A few minutes of snack-gathering passes, and Santa is about to leave...)
Santa: Now, you're not going to peek before it's time to open those presents, are you?
"Nah, I can wait a few hours. BTW, how'd you get in here?"
(There's no fireplace where the chimney lies. Just a brick wall. Santa proceeds to open it up like a door with ease.)
Santa: I learned that one from Tim Burton. Ho ho ho ho...
Santa: You are, apparently. Why do you stay up so late all the time?
"It's just a habit of mine. Doesn't interfere with work or anything. So, how's things?"
Santa: I'm jolly.
"So, just out of curiosity-"
Santa: Bringing toys to the world in a single night? Time travel.
"Cool. So, did you bring Hobbes presents?"
Santa: *Quirks an eyebrow* 'Hobbes presents'?
*Laughs* "Sorry, had to. So, would you like a cookie? Dad makes these great teacakes, edible fruitcake too."
Santa: And rumballs, yes. I'd ask for a beer, but sleigh-driving under the influence is a bad practice. You know that song 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer'?
"Yeah?"
Santa: That's why.
"Ohhh..."
(A few minutes of snack-gathering passes, and Santa is about to leave...)
Santa: Now, you're not going to peek before it's time to open those presents, are you?
"Nah, I can wait a few hours. BTW, how'd you get in here?"
(There's no fireplace where the chimney lies. Just a brick wall. Santa proceeds to open it up like a door with ease.)
Santa: I learned that one from Tim Burton. Ho ho ho ho...
I would give him lots and lots of H.U.G.S...
Hug him until his red cheeks turn blue...
Undo his trousers so that I can give him his "milk" for his cookies...
Grope his fat [belly] like it's the director's cut of "Deliverance"...
Suck his candy cane while he sucks my fruit cake...
...On the more joking note, I would shake his hand and tell him that despite never getting paid overtime, he's pretty fly for a *insert ethnicity here* guy...
captcha: It's Time to Overdue
You're right, captcha... MORE H.U.G.S for everyone in this thread!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS, ESCAPIST!!! *Ho Ho Ho*
Hug him until his red cheeks turn blue...
Undo his trousers so that I can give him his "milk" for his cookies...
Grope his fat [belly] like it's the director's cut of "Deliverance"...
Suck his candy cane while he sucks my fruit cake...
...On the more joking note, I would shake his hand and tell him that despite never getting paid overtime, he's pretty fly for a *insert ethnicity here* guy...
captcha: It's Time to Overdue
You're right, captcha... MORE H.U.G.S for everyone in this thread!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS, ESCAPIST!!! *Ho Ho Ho*
I'd totally throw him a curve ball and ask something like "Santa, why can't you bring daddy back?"
- Mar 31, 2010
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I got mention! :-D
OT: Capture Santa and make his elves hand over all the presents in exchange for his freedom. Some of these presents would then be distributed to the IL orphans, the majority would be sold for profit. Perfect.
OT: Capture Santa and make his elves hand over all the presents in exchange for his freedom. Some of these presents would then be distributed to the IL orphans, the majority would be sold for profit. Perfect.
I'd wonder why someone had dressed up as Santa Claus to rob my house; everyone knows the real Santa Claus doesn't come until you're asleep.
Is it bad that I read that in Ladd Russo's english dubbed voice?TizzytheTormentor said:[HEADING=2]Santa's come to visit has he?[/HEADING]
Oh Sandy Claws...lets have a little chat about that Nintendo 64 you never got me for Christmas when I was an innocent 5 year old boy...
And then went to find a Rail Chaser gif.
But to no avail.
I'd probably be the guy that killed Christmas... I can claim self-defense and all since he was breaking and entering. Plus I have no mercy for people entering my property without permission while I'm asleep. All in all, it would also probably be because I was in the throes of sleep deprivation and thought I was hallucinating a robber to look like Santa so I wouldn't feel bad, plus I'd have access to all the PS4's, XBones and the one WiiU some kid asked for that are in his bag. Plus a magical sled apparently capable of time distortion and quantum travel.
Hrm.... Not a bad tradeoff as long as I don't end up living the Santa Clause movie.
Also there's a reason my avatar is the Krampus.
Hrm.... Not a bad tradeoff as long as I don't end up living the Santa Clause movie.
Also there's a reason my avatar is the Krampus.
Oh... kinky! =PSkarKrow said:
My internet is kinda sucky, so I'm watching that gif in glorious slo-mo! XDRipVanTinkle said:Interesting places, you say?
Santa is just marking one more off his naughty list.
Don't mind me
OT: Take a joyride on his sleigh would be the first thing, then go pimp it out!
Wot? I thought your avatar was a character from Samurai Jack.amaranth_dru said:
I would demand magic tricks from the man who claimed to be Santa. If he failed to produce said tricks, I would have to batter the clappers out of him. State law, my hands are tied.
EDIT: I keep misreading this damned thread title as 'Hentai in your house, what would you do?'
I'd collect presents and give him some milk and cookies I guess. We're not talking evil Santa from the Christmas horror movies are we?
Nope, it was the Krampus from the Venture Bros. Christmas episode, season 1. One of my favorite episodes of all time.Barbas said:
I'd ask him to cover this song with me
Hopefully sit on his lap as well, and ask for a real Robot Santa as a present... for totally non-World Domination reasons.
Hopefully sit on his lap as well, and ask for a real Robot Santa as a present... for totally non-World Domination reasons.
Fap?Barbas said:
Call the NSA?
Call the ghostbusters to get that tentacle monster out of your basement?
