If You had a Portal Gun...

[Lvl 64 Klutz]

Best Prank Ever:

-1 Portal in Times Square
-1 Portal on bathroom floor right in front of shower while victim is taking one.

Better than stealing clothes from a locker room, I can guarantee that.

 

[Jamanticus]

Ok lets say this portal gun can shoot portals anywhere:Moving surfaces,rough surfaces,etc.
It emits no little particals.
(only through the Blue portal can you see anything,on the other side no one can see it)

Alright, what then?

 

[Vault_Dweller]

I'd hock the damn thing. It's not like I have any real use for one, other than for dicking about purposes.

 

[mrnelsby]

Smuggling!

 

[merf1350]

Since the rules don't state otherwise...

I'll modify the gun so that I can enter into it the usernames of every moron on the interwebs, shoot it at my screen with the name logged in, and it transmits the portal online to open on their monitor. I would then proceed to reach through my screen and smack the hell out of them.

I work phone tech support, so I'd be getting a lot of use out of that.

 

[Jamanticus]

Since the rules don't state otherwise...

I'll modify the gun so that I can enter into it the usernames of every moron on the interwebs, shoot it at my screen with the name logged in, and it transmits the portal online to open on their monitor. I would then proceed to reach through my screen and smack the hell out of them.

I work phone tech support, so I'd be getting a lot of use out of that.

Ha! Sounds like you've given this a lot of thought..... Which is reasonable, as I'm sure I'd too want to smack the living daylights out of many customers on a tech support line.

What do you think about air pressure and portals?

 

[TheKnifeJuggler]

I'd try to see if I can pull myself into two places at once.

Then I think I'd just sit around and wonder if I could push myself back through the portal.

 

[merf1350]

Since the rules don't state otherwise...

I'll modify the gun so that I can enter into it the usernames of every moron on the interwebs, shoot it at my screen with the name logged in, and it transmits the portal online to open on their monitor. I would then proceed to reach through my screen and smack the hell out of them.

I work phone tech support, so I'd be getting a lot of use out of that.

Ha! Sounds like you've given this a lot of thought..... Which is reasonable, as I'm sure I'd too want to smack the living daylights out of many customers on a tech support line.

What do you think about air pressure and portals?

I think it'd be awesome for days when it's blisteringly hot out and your electric don't work, can you say portal-fan.

Edit: Unfortunately no, I didn't have to think much, it's simple wish fullfillment. You have no idea how many times a day that concept is brought up at a helpdesk.

 

[merf1350]

To take it down a slightly darker route...

New form of capitol punisment? Chain the left half of the body to one side of the room and the right side to the other through the portals...then turn it off. Gruesome.

Ok, maybe slightly wasn't entirely accurate...

 

[Jamanticus]

To take it down a slightly darker route...

New form of capitol punisment? Chain the left half of the body to one side of the room and the right side to the other through the portals...then turn it off. Gruesome.

Ok, maybe slightly wasn't entirely accurate...

Darn it- that probably wouldn't be as gruesome as it ought to be... When a portal is closed, anything inside it will be pushed out, so nothing would end up getting sliced up....

 

[merf1350]

To take it down a slightly darker route...

New form of capitol punisment? Chain the left half of the body to one side of the room and the right side to the other through the portals...then turn it off. Gruesome.

Ok, maybe slightly wasn't entirely accurate...

Darn it- that probably wouldn't be as gruesome as it ought to be... When a portal is closed, anything inside it will be pushed out, so nothing would end up getting sliced up....

Ok, then how do you reconcile if each side is chained to a different end of the room through the portal? What happens then? For illustration purposes...

|) % !!!!!! % (|
|-% !!!!!!!! %-|
|\%% !!! %%/|

| = walls
% = chains
() = head
- = arms
/\ = legs
Edit: ! = open space...added cuz this system didn't like spaces in my art.

 

[Jamanticus]

To take it down a slightly darker route...

New form of capitol punisment? Chain the left half of the body to one side of the room and the right side to the other through the portals...then turn it off. Gruesome.

Ok, maybe slightly wasn't entirely accurate...

Darn it- that probably wouldn't be as gruesome as it ought to be... When a portal is closed, anything inside it will be pushed out, so nothing would end up getting sliced up....

Ok, then how do you reconcile if each side is chained to a different end of the room through the portal? What happens then? For illustration purposes...

|) % % (|
|-% %-|
|\%% %%/|

| = walls
% = chains
() = head
- = arms
/\ = legs

Now we're at the gruesome level we should be! I apologise for misreading your previous post... For some reason I missed the part about chains.....Cheers!

Oh, and quite a good illustration, too...

What about an infinite freefall with portals? Too fun?

 

[merf1350]

How about a movable column? Like put the portal on the ceiling, and on top of the column...then raise the column till it's like 2 inches from the ceiling portal...I bet that could get pretty messy.

Edit: Close the gap after you have them in freefall between the portals.

 

[ChronocidalManiac]

Here's a dark one. Shoot the ground, then aim at the sun and pull the trigger. Couple of hours later, global warming gets kicked up a substantial notch. A very substantial notch.

 

[Jamanticus]

Here's a dark one. Shoot the ground, then aim at the sun and pull the trigger. Couple of hours later, global warming gets kicked up a substantial notch. A very substantial notch.

Brilliant plan... But is there any true "surface" on the sun for a portal to cling to?

 

[merf1350]

Here's a dark one. Shoot the ground, then aim at the sun and pull the trigger. Couple of hours later, global warming gets kicked up a substantial notch. A very substantial notch.

'Shoot it at the sun'...

Yeah, that's about as 'dark' as a halogen light bulb.
/sarcasm

 

[Corven]

I'd make two portals face each other in such a way that I could see myself and the pull myself through the portal to see if it would create two of me resulting in a paradox that would make the universe implode.

 

[merf1350]

Hm, portal gun = 1 million and 1 new sexual positions

Not any worse than this, but I'll display some taste and spoiler it.

Spoiler: Rated MA for Sexual References

Ultimate Glory Hole

 

[Dommyboy]

I would combine it with a suite that I wear and rule the world! Than some guy would try to hunt me down and the plot of Timeshift would begin.

 

[lucky_bob45]

if i had a portal gun i'd want those nifty heel springs too, that way landing wouldn't be a problem. though i'd probably just use it to chuck stuff at people at terminal velocity.