If you had a potato...

[Barbas]

* * *​

There it is, sitting alone on the shelf, taunting your taste buds with its knobbly brown skin and succulent flesh: the last potato in the store. You feel your eyes rolling back and your hands beginning to tremble as your thoughts turn to what you would do with this wonderful, heaven-sent vegetable. You must hurry; the other shoppers are beginning to stare.

This is your life. This is your potato. What do you do with it?

My potato would be Hasselback style.

 

[viscomica]

A very small tortilla of course.
Potato at its best.

 

[Albino Boo]

I shove the potato down Piers Morgan's throat and make jokes about him having his chips.

 

[Bob_McMillan]

I would bake it and cover it with sour cream and bacon, preferably with a side of steak.

 

[Barbas]

I shove the potato down Piers Morgan's throat and make jokes about him having his chips.

Though I am unable to officially endorse this course of action, I like the way you think.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I shove the potato down Piers Morgan's throat and make jokes about him having his chips.

Hard pressed to come up with an idea better than harming Piers Morgan.

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

Do I have to take it? I mean, macaroni and rice are both easier to cook, plus you don't have to peel them... such a fuss.

Okay, let's say I have to take it. I take it home and leave it in the fridge, waiting to be cooked the day after tomorrow when I 've bought more potatoes. I mean, cooking a single potato isn't a very eco thing to do energy consumption wise.

 

[Twintix]

Anything with garlic.

Either garlic mash, garlic hash browns or garlic home fries.

Potatoes and garlic are a match made in heaven.

 

[Armadox]

I conserve it. This is the last round of ammo for my spudgun. I can think of nothing less then to soak it in holy water, shove wooden splinters through it, and go out hunting the night in order to put down "el hermano perezoso de drácula". He killed my potato supplier. This is personal.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I would turned it into a jacket potato assuming I had something good to add onto it like chilli con carne.

 

[Aerosteam]

I follow the old saying:

When life gives you a potato, make potatoade.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

Proceed to make passionate love with it... I've got your sour cream right here...

If people start staring, I'll just look them in the eye until I finish

Because that's what you do to assert dominance

 

[tilmoph]

Mash that bastard and add butter. I'm a simple man, with simple tastes.

 

[Sleepy Sol]

Screw the potato. Not literally though, that's kinda weird.

I mean, I liked mashed potatoes, but not really enough to care about actually buying potatoes in grocery stores.

 

[King of Asgaard]

Baked potato, idea courtesy of The Big JC:
I love a good baked potato.

 

[Drakmorg]

Being Irish, the only real option I have available to me would be to marry it. Damned if anyone else is laying their filthy hands on me potatoe-wife.

 

[Silvanus]

If the potato was all I had, I would saute it.

Get some herbs in there too, and pepper.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Being Irish, the only real option I have available to me would be to marry it. Damned if anyone else is laying their filthy hands on me potatoe-wife.

Ahh excellent! I was about to say that if this potato is the last, i would put it in my potato conservation oven garden pen and begin work on finding a mate for it to copulate with. If you happen to be up to the task however, then that would be a great service to the future race of flourishing potatoes! (And to my spare time)

 

[happyninja42]

I would keep the potato, because as long as you've got a potato, you're going to be ok.

 

[Shiftygiant]

Ferment it.