if you had the above avatar tied up in your basement

[Windsaver]

Ahh! Scorpion! /e smacks with staff.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

A mage? Great! Now we can get started on some of those experiments!

 

[mParadox]

You! dO a magic trick! I want my bunny!!

 

[AwesomeExpress]

I'd get you to write a novel that has no beginning and no end.

 

[mParadox]

so you want me to do nothing? Wohoooo!!

Bring me a moon rock! a big one!

 

[AgDr_ODST]

[color=sky blue]Cortana: Im in no position to be picky....anything will do. Now how may I go about repaying you for being so kind? No worries Doc take as long as you need to deal with them[/color]

Its no trouble at all.
Now... do you remember anything... anything at all about how you got here? Or how you seem to have gained a physical form?

Ehh... I shouldn't pry... it was probably quite traumatic... but... if you want to talk... I'll listen.

As for repaying me.... that isn't necessary... but if you really want to... if you insist... no.... we'll save it for when you're feeling better.

EDIT:
It seems we have a guest in a top hat... how odd. (unites)
Now... how did you get here?

[color=sky blue]Cortana: I remember standing on my Holopad watching John sleep in his cryotube as I often did when I wasn't managing the power levels or sending out the distress beacons. I did this for about a year before a bright almost violent flash of light engulfed the Dawn, I started to feel weak and 'sick to my stomach' as I thought an EMP blast was gonna kill us both before I blacked out. When I woke I was laying on the ground suddenly solid but before I could marvel at this wonderful occurance I noticed John was nowhere to be seen. I moved to go find him when someone attacked me from behind.....After that I woke up here. [/color]

Huh...
I'll be making a full inquiry into my staff to see if any of them attacked you.

Or it could have been Mengsk... but why would he put you on my ship?

Or even... how could he...

oh well..

OH! I almost forgot, I brought you some clothes and some books to read. I didn't know your size, so I just got you a one-size-fits all ceremonial Protoss robe... it might be a bit big for a... Terran? But it should keep you warm. I have also given you some preliminary access to our databases... star maps, entertainment, news. To catch you up, and see if you recognize anything on our charts.

[color=sky blue]Well when you find who attacked me let me know. *ducks away to change before coming back out* its a suprisingly good fit. I'll give the databases a once over momentarily. But before I do I've gotta ask..*smiles* How do I look?[/color]

It may just be the blue skin... but you look a bit like a young Protoss... and... that's odd... I didn't notice until now, but your eyes are glowing... a little bluish... of course, a young Protoss doesn't have legs like that... and none of us have "mouths" or "ears" or "noses". Yet I find your appearance oddly pleasing.

(an hour passes)

Well... I've mentally scanned all of my soldiers, and none of them attacked you or know who did... so that's a dead end.

Well... there is one other option... but... I'll need DNA samples from you... if I can determine how you became solid, I might be able to work out who made you solid...
I may also be able to tell if you are actually human. I have a theory about how you got to be solid... but let's see what the results turn up... if you are comfortable with me taking a DNA sample, that is.

OT:
I'll get to you in a minute Best.

[color=sky blue]
Cortana: Well if I look anything like I did when I was a Hologram Im almost a dead ringer for a younger version of my creator/"mother"....*the compliment registers* why thank you *smiles again*
Well thats good I wouldn't want thier to be tension with your ranks over me, as for the sample...I can do that *winces as she plucks a hairs* well this be enough? *holds out the hairs*[/color]

Yes, that should work... though... if my suspicions are correct... I might also need a saliva sample... here, spit into this cup, please.

Inquiries have continued, but so far... nothing.

However, I do have one theory about how you became solid...
I think that someone made this body before-hand, and your personality... mind... was downloaded into this body. This body could be robotic... but (holds Cortana's hands in my own)... hmm... no... a robotic body wouldn't have that kind of warmth... or that kind of pulse...

hmm... I might be a while... I'm in the process of negotiations with the UED.

[color=sky blue]Cortana: not a problem...*spits into the cup and puts the lid on it* As for the theories go though Im fairly certain at the least in a very realistic android body if Im not entirely human as I suspect...given how I was able to eat some *insert whatever protoss eat* that I found while I was changing. What about the UED? Who are they?[/color]

Thank you for the sample. Now, while I wait for the results...
The Protoss don't eat, we get our nutrition from inhaling certain gases. But since we started our alliance with the Terrans, we have installed some food synthesizers on all new ships, for an occasion like this.
The UED apparently stands for the United Earth Directorate. They've come a long way to accomplish their goals here in the Kroprolu sector. I was negotiating with the UED, to at least minimize their impact on Protoss space, and to possibly forge an alliance to oust Emperor Mengsk and his Dominion... he would resist any effort to defeat the Zerg.
The Zerg are like the Flood you faced in your sector, only much, much worse. (sorry, I had to scan your mind before I woke you up to determine if you would be hostile or not)

(ding)

Ah, the DNA analysis is in and...

well... you aren't human... not quite... but you aren't an android either... hmm...
(runs a quick tech scan on Cortana)... hmm... not even trace amounts of cybernetics... your body may have been engineered, but it is completely organic...
(looks more closely at DNA results)

Oh my...
You seem to be a human/Protoss hybrid... but the only one that I know of that would even attempt such an experiment is... Duran. (growls the name out)

Well... now I think we know who made the body, who attacked you, and left you here.... but why?

Hmm... I hate to ask this... and I wouldn't if the need weren't dire... but I'll need to run a deep scan on your mind... on a normal Protoss, there are no adverse affects... but on a human... well... it ranges from severe migraines to crippling physical pain to insanity... and in some cases... death.

But since you're a hybrid... I have no idea what will happen.

I will understand if you don't want to go through a deep scan like this, but you will have to accept that if don't let me scan you, I will be forced to keep you in here permanently, and surrounded by a platoon of my Zealots at all times.

You see... there is only one logical reason why Duran would "make" you, and then leave you on my ship...
I need to perform the scan to see if there are any surprises hidden in your subconscious, and if possible, correct them.

I am sorry.

[color=sky blue]*Cortana is visbly overwhelmed by all the revelations about the zerg and her body and the Docs admission about the scan..but she continues on anyway*
Cortana: Well whatever I ate isn't bothering my stomach...thats good I guess...
As for this UED from what I've read they seem to bare a striking similarity to the UNSC where Im from.
But enough of that if these Zerg are worse than the Flood what can be done?, can the 'queen of blades' according to your files who leads them be reasoned with?
But how is it possible to make me into a 'hybrid' before I was just an AI....a highly advanced one but still...just hours ago. What feels more like days I was looking through my hologram projected hand as I watched over John.
Now Im not exactly happy about this scan it but it seems I've no other option if I intend to help you or atleast move freely about the space you've provided me. I don't get it though what could "Duran" gain by doing all of this? Why would he do it? *starts to lose her composure again and turn a pale shade of blue* [/color]

No evidence from our past dealings with her suggest that we can form a stable alliance with Kerrigan. After the Overmind was destroyed, she came to us, claiming to have some important information for us... she just used that as an in to infest the Dark Templar's Matriarch, and tried to destroy us from the inside.

I don't know what Duran hoped to gain with this experiment... but I will find out... all we know right now is that he claims to serve an "Older Power".... nothing bodes well where he is concerned...

As I said.... he may have simply destroyed all digital versions of your personality when he decided to use you as a template... I suppose that when he was hoping that a personality based on an AI would be more malleable than before... I suspect several months passed between him abducting you, and you appearing on my ship.

Now... to begin the scan.... I will be as careful as I can...

(Puts hands to Cortana's temple, and stares intently into her eyes)

En taro Adun.

(Begins scanning... doesn't find anything dangerous in Cortana's mind... but marvels at the complexity of the neuron clusters and thought-patterns... then.... at a critical juncture where the human and protoss parts of the brain meet.... I find a small mental program... little more than a blip at first... but then I realize that this is where someone, probably Duran, placed a node for remote access.... not dangerous in of itself... except for all of the information that Duran could obtain through this module... I carefully remove the artificial node and withdraw from your mind)

Hmmm....

(Cortana is now unconscious, I take note of changes in breathing, and check her pulse... it seems as though you will survive... I nudge you awake)

Cortana?
(you wake up)

It's over... you're free to move about the ship... but first... I should warn you... there was a remote access node in your mind that would have allowed someone... probably Duran... to access all information you had learned... but don't worry... it wouldn't have allowed him to send commands into your mind.

However... because of the node's location... it was placed precisely where the human and protoss parts of your brain meet... well... up until now, you have been only vaguely aware of it, but now... you might start to experience everything this body has experienced before you were put into it... I have no idea what might have happened... but it could be quite traumatic...

Because of your hybridity.... you might have some Psionic abilities... but don't try anything until your mind has settled into a more stable state... I will stay here, and help you in any way that I can.

[color=sky blue]Cortana: Im not upset by that revalation, The leader of the Flood, Gravemind tried to probe my mind for knowledge about Humanity and the Halo Arrays, fortunately John the Spartan I mntiontioned earlier got to me before it could get what it wanted....just as you've done just now.....*excruciatingly painful memories of what Duran did to her hybrid body bombard her as Cortana falls to the ground* Aggggggghhhhhhhhh memories.....pain....horrible.....*Cortana cries as the pain subsides*[/color]

(uses gentle psionics to try calm Cortana down by linking with her mind, viewing the memories as well, and trying to absorb as much of the pain as possible)

There there... just focus on where you are now, focus on my voice... the hum of the ship's engines... the ventilation... focus on my voice...

Now... since I have been in your mind a few times... I think it only fair that you have a look in mine... view whatever you like, though I would advise against looking into what lies beyond the Veil... that would be quite painful for both of us... and could leave both of us questioning our identities for some time. Now... look away from the pain and horror that you have endured, and look at the wonders I have seen... the dark space between the furthest stars, the birth of a nebula, the death of the galaxy's oldest star, narrowly escaping a newly formed black hole... my arguments with the Conclave... walking on Aiur and Shakuras... and... no... wait... (accidentally takes you into the greatest source of his shame, we now see all of the Terran colonies that Tassadar has burned to "purify" them of the Zerg)... no.... please... enough... (ends the link)

(backs away, and huddles into a dark corner)

No... so many... dead... no... my fault...

[color=sky blue]Cortana*in a maternal tone*: Its allright, everything will be fine...we all have made mistakes...no body is perfectputs a hand on Tassadar and uses psionics to show him some of the UNSC's greatest most uplifting triumphs and carefully selected fond private memories of time she spent with John calm yourself all will be okay....*sings a song that Halsey would use to soothe her after her 'birth'[/color]

(calming down)

Thank you... I just hope I can make up for that someday...

Probably why I tried to kill myself during the fight with the Overmind...

(realizes what just happened)

How did you do that?
I mean... it normally takes Terrans a decade to shield their own minds from outside influence.
And it normally takes Protoss at least a century to be able to send images and memories without affecting the recipient's identity.

Your origins as an advanced AI (even by Protoss standards) might help but... now I begin to see what else Duran had hoped to accomplish...
Though that won't matter for long if the alliance with the UED lasts.

Thank you again for that...

Hmm... would you like some rest... or would like to start touring the ship now (hands Cortana a map) when you're ready, let me know where you'd like to go... in the meantime... I'll program the synthesizer to make whatever you like... and... hmm... you might need to start inhaling some of the Kahldian vapors... though not too much... you are still part human.... and those gasses have had some... odd... effects on humans...

So, what do you want?

[color=sky blue]Cortana: its difficult to explain...but I'll do as best as I can..*pauses to take a breath*..When I saw you in termoil as I was earlier I shut my eyes and focused and it all came to me just as information would when I was an AI both the memories that I used to soothe you and the knowledge on how to use my till now dormant psionics abilities. Im fine enough to tour the ship. I can rest later as for eating...I think I'll stick to human food for now..I'll try the vapors later if I dont require them sooner[/color]

Hmm... well... (uses Psionics to teleport us around the ship, starting with the emergency escape routes, the mess hall, the barracks, the officer's quarters, the main database -the room you were in was the AI Core -, the hangar, the engine room, and finally, the bridge for the best view)

Well... that was the tour... what do you think of the ship?
Oh... and while you are free to continue using the AI Core as your room, don't feel you have to stay there... I'm sure there are some unused officer's quarters (Protoss don't have officers... its just the closest means of translation for who those rooms are for).

Now then...
Breaking character now...

Well... I think we've just written an interesting bit of cross-fanfic... now... how can we capitalize on that? Hmmm....

[color=sky blue]Cortana: *smiling* Very impressive, the engine room in particular and the current view of course.

As for lodging....In another 'life' I would have literally stayed in the AI Core. But no longer now. I'll take a room in the officers quarters if one is available[/color]
Breaking character....

Good question.....We could continue doing this, iron out some sort of plot and post it on Deviant Art or Fanfiction.net

OT:
bring in his daughter and make him watch as she dies or turns after not getting zombrex

 

[mParadox]

Upload virus onto the database!!

 

[SixWingedAsura]

Interrogate him on how many possible weapon combos he knows

 

[AgDr_ODST]

toss mud onto his tux

 

[mParadox]

give an invite to a gaming convention happening at Fortune City. or a data over-load

 

[Dr.Susse]

Hold the best LAN party ever.

 

[mParadox]

throw pies at the windscreen!!! >

 

[Snowden's Secret]

Force you to make me dozens of Teddy Bear Sentries (or whatever they're called, haven't played the game yet myself. )

 

[xmbts]

We would build a fort, a good one.

 

[mParadox]

Force him to make the best Windows EVAR!!

 

[xmbts]

Spoiler: Did I do it right?

 

[TheDoctor455]

Ugh... you always get tangled up in those things, why do you keep trying to use them?

 

[mParadox]

Force him to take me to the Italian Renaissance.

 

[TheDoctor455]

I'm not an Arbiter.
Try bill from accounting over there.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Hello, air force? I found an alien, wait. Never mind.
[sub]Close call[/sub]