If you were a criminal

[Lunatic High]

I've always wanted to be higher profile hitman goin after political/religious/celebrity contracts as opposed to nobodies, I'd very much like to pay that blackmoore polygomist bastard an evening visit

Or a terrorist bent on nuking the polar ice caps

 

[Ruedyn]

I would be the worlds best jay-walker.

 

[Reaper195]

I'd either be person that sneaks into peoples houses without breaking the front door, then kick in every single door INSIDE the house and then leave through the front door, not kicking it in. Thank you Dane Cook.

That, or a serial killer with a fucked up MO.

 

[theheroofaction]

Jewel theif. I'd take the two most expensive rings in a jewelry store, and pawn them under the pretense that they're the engagement and wedding rings for my tragically deceased spouse.

 

[Aprilgold]

I'd go the whole Trilby route. Which is TO BECOME THE BEST THIEF OF PEOPLE'S POSSESSIONS!

Wear Pajamas, duh.

Tazer people if they move for the reason of just tazering them.

 

[octafish]

Counterfeiter...
...it won't end well for William Petersen...

 

[White Lightning]

I'd want to be a modern Jesse James. robbing Banks, Trains (or maybe Planes because honestly who takes a train anymore?) Boats, anything! People would recognize me because I would ride a Horse where ever I was robbing. A physics defying Skyrim Horse of course, I gotta get to those Planes somehow.

 

[Jodah]

Murder for hire. I figure if I am going to be a criminal I may as well go for broke.

 

[Hemlet]

I'd be a serial rapist. But not of people. Of stuffed animals. And the victims would KNOW I did it, because I'd take a picture of myself doing it, and tape it to the door to their bedroom, so it'd be the first thing they see when they wake up.

They'd call me Fuck Testa.

Somehow I don't think anyone will be able to top this.

I'd probably be called Mr. Literature, imitating crimes and skullduggery performed by various literary icons. My MO would always be different and the only hint would be a copy of the book that I was imitating left at the crime scene.

 

[Phisi]

I shall be an assassin of bad peoples and a burglar of their homes and safety deposit boxes.

 

[Don Savik]

kill bad people..and only bad people

BUT DEN YOU BECOME A BAD PERSON AND EVERYTHING YOU DO BECOMES POINTLESS

...is what I imagine someone is going to say. You think cops would like a killer who picks off other killers. Heck, I would like a killer who kills killers! You think everyone would be all over that idea. Killing has becoming such a negative stigma that its not even an option in self defense or else you're considered a monster.

 

[Esotera]

Arsonist. There's a lot of debate right now with my housemates on whether we should just burn down the house we're in now when we leave (it's really crap).

 

[Starik20X6]

Clearly I'd be a super villain. Probably just become Joker or something... I have a girl willing to be my Harley if I ever do. Plenty of laughing gas and present bombs.

 

[AngloDoom]

I'd be the guy with all the answers. I'd have spies everywhere telling me what's going on in all areas of the world and not a single person working for me would know I'm the big guy on top. I'd have the type of organisation where everyone is sure they are evil, but no-one could prove it. With a single secret, governments could be toppled, wars started or ended, and heroes become the villains.

Then one day I'd just get bored, upload the whole load of secrets onto Twitter and get in the biggest most comfortable bunker and wait for all of it to blow over.

 

[Unsilenced]

Arson for the lulz. Burn down abandon buildings.

Much more severe than that and not even the evil side of me is particularly interested. Some men just want to watch the world burn after a proper evacuation and safety precautions.


I think that would be what would set me apart as a psychopath. An incredibly rigid and absurdly drawn guideline to what I would/would not do.



EDIT: Alternatively, I would go for something like The Monster With 21 Faces. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Monster_with_21_Faces]

Evil, yes. But mostly just insanely creepy. Like a meth-addicted anonymous. One of the men tracking them got so frustrated he lit himself on fire and died.

Clearly, he mad.