If you were a lich, where would you hide your phylactery?

[Engarde]

Congratulations, sir and / or madam! You have been granted a once in a lifetime opportunity to become a.....(dundundun).... mighty Lich! All for the low low price of your afterlife in a jar! But alas! Not all is well in the life of mighty Lich *insertnamehere*! His foes, evil wizards and warriors and rogues and what have you seek to put an end to your reign of terror / benevolence! So, in order to save yourself....where do you hide your phylactery to ensure your eternal unlife?

(For those who do not know, in DnD, a Lich is an undead mage who can never die so long as his phylactery, which is a jar of blood or whatever, is not destroyed. So if you hide it well, say, in Australia, you can rule the world!)

 

[Nouw]

I use my magical powers to first shield it. I then toss it into the Marianas Trench!

 

[Dr.Susse]

I'll use the Resident Evil strategy and hide it under a glowing part on my amour.

 

[Firstmark_Bannor]

I would hide it on my Darksteel pendant just like always.

 

[sidhe3141]

First, take a needle, and hide it inside an egg, that is inside a vampire duck, that is inside a zombie fox, that is in an unbreakable box with an unpickable lock, that is in the middle of a forest, that is on an island, which only exists for one day in every century, and that is in the middle of the ocean with no landmarks in sight.

And then curse everything involved. Curse the needle, so that iron will rust to nothing in the hand of the one who breaks it. Curse the egg, so that the one who smashes it will die on the spot. Curse the duck, so that sevenfold vengeance shall be taken upon any who damage it. Curse the fox, so that once it leaves a person's sight that person can never again find it. Curse the chest, so that any who open it unleash great evils upon the world. Curse the forest, so that any who set foot in it will be forever lost. Curse the island, so that any who land on it will find the land withholding its fruits from them. Curse the day, so that any at sea that day shall surely drown.

And then enchant a grain of sand in a ceremony of unspeakable evil.

And then toss it onto a beach.

And then enchant the beach, so that anyone wishing to learn which beach the sand was thrown onto must leave their friends behind, and earn the enmity of those in power, and cast themselves down a chasm filled with blades, and drown in a vat of ale, and sell their soul seven times, and make other sacrifices without number.

And then ensorcell a coin.

And then further bespell it so that I can see anything near it, and kill whoever carries it with a thought, and so that it does not appear magical to any but the most potent diviners.

And then go out and spend it on a new couch.

And then put the actual phylactery in my safe-deposit box.

 

[Ruedyn]

I'd put it in the casket of the unmarked grave of the heroes parents. Because I want the hero to feel really bad when they get the weapon that kills me.

 

[Basement Cat]

And then put the actual phylactery in my safe-deposit box.

Ninja'd!

I respect anyone who's read the Evil Overlord Handbook. ^_^

OT: In a book in my personal library--a tree in a forest, in a manner of speaking.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

I'd hide it in a random tree in a once sacred grove, deep in the corrupted woods around my castle. I'd also have decoys.
Or maybe, the one in the random tree IS the decoy and its actually built into the foundations of the house of my dead lover.

 

[kailus13]

I'd put it into a cement block, then use that block to build a bridge. Then build more bridges around the world. The heroes would need to destroy a lot of bridges, making them the enemy of every government.