If You Were Admin of the Entire Internet ...

[Mycroft Holmes]

Sure. In fact, I don't have to make sure of it. There's this amazing thing out there called a store. How it works is that you walk into a building, you give a guy at a counter money, and he'll give you a game!

Can I access it from any computer I want at any time without lugging around my entire CD collection? No? Ok, I'll stick to steam.

So by sheer logic, if Valve were to terminate someone's account, they would refund the money for any and all games they paid for right?

Wrong. You don't get a refund. Why? Because you didn't buy a game from them. You bought a LICENSE to a game. This is my big issue with Steam. If I buy something, I want it to be MINE once I've paid for it.

That's the same agreement as with almost all software. Guess what, you buy a physical copy of a game? You still don't own it unless its a pretty old game or free-ware. Hence why banning CD keys is possible for developers. Because you don't actually own a game even if you have a CD of it.


OT: I would simply doing nothing, because I'm a believer in letting people find their own path to morality and express whatever opinions they wish may they be wrong or right.

 

[Sprinal]

Okay what Would I do?

Well I think First off I would Scrub SOPA off the Face of the internet
second I would Erase The DMCA off of the Universe
Third I would break EA's Origin servers
fourth I would remove ALL Bans off of EVERY Site
then while I'm at it delete all Spam bots

Maybe after a bit I could down youtube, facebook and other extremely mainstream sites for random lengths of time (and at random intervals yet they would all be off at once)

I would kill farmville
Then I would DEMAND EA To make GOOOOOODD!!! games (minus DRM)
I would then make M00t admin of 4chan again

then I don't know...

Maybe take out all of Israels Classified Data and post it online with a link from EVERY website on the planet..

Now I cant think of much else to do... But even what Ihave done there would be boring and could potentially ruin the interwebs... So I think I'd just periodically break things and remove all copyright laws

 

[The Virgo]

But if you ever do end up with super admin powers, just make it where we can still fully access our games, okay? ;-)

Sure. In fact, I don't have to make sure of it. There's this amazing thing out there called a store. How it works is that you walk into a building, you give a guy at a counter money, and he'll give you a game!

No, I'm talking about my 50+ games I bought from Steam that, if you deleted Steam, I would lose them. That's what I'm talking about. |-/

I hold the same issues with Origin, though I have more respect for EA for regulating their own games. But there's a much bigger issue at hand with all three DD products.

I really hate digital distribution. First of all ... *snip-snip-snip-snip*

You know what the problem with buying a PC game in a store is? Eventually that disc is going to wear out/break/get lost/get chucked into a river and you will not be able to play your game. At least with Steam, it may be a license, but I don't have to worry about my disc getting fucked up or lost or anything.

And if you just avoid pissing VALVe off, what have you got to worry about?

Considering how I spend most of my time at my computer anyway, I think the 3K walk to my nearest EB Games to browse the shelves and chat up the manager I'm buddies with is pretty good for me. I'm going to sit at my computer to game, at least buying my games is getting me some exercise.

All of the game stores have a shitty PC selection and aren't worth walking to. And you can't find games like Amnesia: The Dark Descent or The Binding of Issac on store shelves.

 

[AlwaystheUnlucky]

I would change nothing. Absolutely nothing. People are free to do what they want with the web unless it threatens hundreds of lives.

 

[SideSmash]

I'd get rid of Jim Sterling, firstly. That's always been my goal.

Next, I'd develop a machine that implants the definition of "opinion" permanently into the minds of EVERYONE.

 

[The Virgo]

But if you ever do end up with super admin powers, just make it where we can still fully access our games, okay? ;-)

Sure. In fact, I don't have to make sure of it. There's this amazing thing out there called a store. How it works is that you walk into a building, you give a guy at a counter money, and he'll give you a game!

No, I'm talking about my 50+ games I bought from Steam that, if you deleted Steam, I would lose. That's what I'm talking about. |-/

I would have a patch to convert your Steam Games into standard installs with NoCD functionality before I downed Steam.

You know what the problem with buying a PC game in a store is? Eventually that disc is going to wear out/break/get lost/get chucked into a river and you will not be able to play your game. At least with Steam, it may be a license, but I don't have to worry about my disc getting fucked up or lost or anything.

Well as far as I know, NoCD patches aren't actually illegal. I NoCD all my games I own legally exactly for the purpose of preserving the discs in case of needed re-installs. And I have a lockbox for my discs and other important objects.

So any advantage Steam boasts are things I've already been taking care of since I was 11.

And I know you're going to say that Steam is "easier" but for me that doesn't convince me. It's like when people say console gaming is "more convenient" but it still doesn't make me want to buy a Playstation 3 or an AssholeBox

I've never heard of NoCD patches, actually! :O Color me interested.

And no ... I actually wasn't going to say it was easier, but for me it is, since all of the game stores in this area either don't have a PC section at all (no, I'm not joking, but I wish I was D':> )or have an incredibly shitty PC section. So, for me, it's easier to browse thousands of PC games on sale on Steam than to trek a mile and a half to a store that has about 20 PC games that I may or may not even be interested in. Since you seem to have a good PC store within your vicinity that's managed by a friend, I don't blame you for taking that route.

And yeah, I don't blame you about not wanting a console. No Anti-Aliasing, no Anisotropic filtering, incredibly outdated and you have to use a shitty gamepad. That's one thing I hate about Super Meat Boy - it's practically impossible to play without a gamepad and the games tells you this. If I wanted to play with a fucking gamepad, I would have bought a fucking console. So what's the point of a PC port. So I refuse to play it.

 

[SSoSFAGTiaCaGwaP]

Have dedicated MLP sections for bronies to discuss it. Anyone found mentioning MLP outside of these sections gets instantly banned.

Oh God, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's not so much the fact that they're fans of a show designed around little girls' toys, so much as that they take their love of girly ponies to extremes. I've yet to meet a MLP fan who, on forums, didn't have a MLP avatar and, on TF2, as an example, didn't have an MLP spray.

I'm sure those people exist, but I've yet to meet one.

Hiya

Even though I don't have one, I can't see a problem with My Little Pony avatars. Avatars are generally of things people like.

thinks age and maturity are the same thing,

... Um, no. I didn't say that, actually. But I've yet to play with a person below the age of 15 who didn't do write in "textese", wasn't a general pain in the ass, or didn't have that annoying squeaky voice.

Hi again. Stop stereotyping.

Also, you're being kind of a dick to everyone. Stop that too.

Anyway, getting back to the question:

I would put ads for cracked.com everywhere, so it has enough money to employ more writers, so I can spend even MORE countless hours on their site.

 

[Crazycat690]

Well with such power I'd probably wanna abuse it, but... I mean, even though I could ban everyone with different opinions than me, how could I? It's very stimulating to shout at each other online, I'd probably keep it the way it is. Although I'd still ban evil sites and people like nazis and people like that who pretty much use the internet to plan evil shit. Also do something about bias/flamebait sites.

 

[Memoriae]

Well as far as I know, NoCD patches aren't actually illegal. I NoCD all my games I own legally exactly for the purpose of preserving the discs in case of needed re-installs. And I have a lockbox for my discs and other important objects.

And to burst that bubble... NoCD cracks, unless they're issued by the company who either developed or published the game, are classed as circumventing copywrite controls, which is illegal. I'd give you the exact law and code, if I had more than 5 minutes of lunch left.

 

[FallenMessiah88]

I would get rid of all malware, so that the internet would be safe for everyone to surf at all times.

Pretty much anything or anyone that intends to harm, humiliate or otherwise exploit others would be permanently banned.

Other than that, I wouldn't do a damn thing, maybe except harass the hell out of all the little dictators it this thread.

 

[Broady Brio]

I'd hack money from all banks into my account. (Probably get me arrested, ah well it is a what if situation.)

With money, I'd hire 2-3 people to list all websites and their problems with each, I will judge if they're reasonable or not and banhammer what I believe is worthy of banning, such as 95% of Youtube videos.

 

[ph0b0s123]

Turn off every single child porn and abusive porn sites ever. Other than that ... I leave to the rest of humanity.

I would use my power to just find the people posting new original CP content to the internet as those are likely to be people who have abused actual children. Their details (including name and address as I would have full access ISP data as well), I would pass to the authorities to investigate further. Just banning it from the internet does not stop the abuse. I would use the power to stop people who have actually abused (and thoughtfully provided evidence of their abuse on the internet), from abusing again.

Also I use the my power to redirect donations to nasty organizations, like the BNP to charity. Also sites making money from hosting CP will have their money disappear as well. My definition of CP is different to the governments though.

I would also use the power to snoop cooperate emails for wrong doing and reported it to the relevant authorities.

You may ask why I would do all this stuff when I don't support governments having the power to do it. I would say it is the same logic as to why I disprove of governments having the power to torture, but I don't mind Jack Bauer doing it. It's all an issue of trust.

 

[Aprilgold]

- I would eradicate all mention of Anonymous and send viruses to all the computers that support them. How do you like me now, *****?

What do they do wrong? I don't think they did the PS3 thing because a different hacking group named trollzorzXXXboat of fuck... OK, I can't remember their name but they stopped doing things after that one. They haven't done anything necessarily bad just illegal. Also, if your a hacker and your stupid enough to leave your IP adress on and not blacklisted / protected then I'm surprised you didn't get caught sooner.

- I would randomly crash Facebook to screw with people.

That would be neat, actually, force people to have to leave their room to talk to people.

- I would comb through the internet, destroying all trolls and the like

Thats a good one.

- I would shut down the pirate bay and send viruses to any computer to have downloaded over 10 files from their website

This is where I have to go why. There are certain cases to where it makes sense but shutting down pirate bay will stop people who can't even buy games or get shipping to play games or get movies. Theres a select few who it actually helps. Plus, your shutting down only one torrent site, theres so many others that you also have to shut down, then you have to get into whats acceptable and what isn't. What if someone sends someone else a clip of a movie, or the whole movie through a e-mail that exterminates itself 10 minutes before the climax of the film, is that worth the virus?

- I would transfer millions of dollars into my bank account, then use this money to hire mercenaries to attack WBC

That sounds brilliant.

- I would kill Glen Beck and Donald Trump with the mercenaries

- I would be truly happy

And you made millions more happy.

Well, if I was in charge I would allow any hacking groups with a decent motive to continue doing their thing.

Torrenting would be banned all except for a select few things, and these items are.
-Any item that can not be obtained otherwise.
-Any place where you can't obtain the item that you are pirating, and any torrenting site will have to give a option to tell you if the item is gainable in any way where you live, if it doesn't it will be banned.

News sites that commonly use fear mongering as a liable tactic and that spread lies.

Any and all trolls will be suspended for a month from where they trolled after two trolling attempts. However, Homophobes and Zealots saying that Atheists / LGBT causes should all burn in eternal torment and / or should be killed will be banned after two suspensions.

Youtube and any other video uploading site, I will ban anyone who uses scare tactics and supports hatred will be banned outright from any media that is video based. So a video saying that the world will end in 2012 with no proof will be banned from uploading on any video site. And any comment that does a similar thing will be banned from commenting. With a 4 day suspension before being allowed to start seeing videos or comments again.

Any DRM will be have to be fully functioning, by stopping pirates. If it doesn't then I will destroy the DRM of the game.

All Ad-blockers will be destroyed and all adblock users will lose their adblockers, but they themselves get no penalty. However, all intrusive ads will be destroyed.

Remove all malicious software such as malware and viruses so the internet can be safe for all.

Anything that supports hatred or discrimination of a person or group of people will be banned from the web if they continue to do so after a warning.

NOTES: The warning disappears after a month without another warning.

 

[Philol]

I'd Leave the internet as it is, as I'm too lazy to change it.

 

[Scorpid]

I will separate the internet into two with the dark seedy underbelly that no one talks about, so neither will we. And the nice clean internet where MLP is the standard by which behavior is judged. Then i look on my work and nod approvingly.

 

[Killertje]

I'd ban every website of every company or government that wants to censor the internet, including this thread, then I'd ban my admin powers.

 

[Elsarild]

OUTLAW PONIES!

Okay, on a serious note? I would introduce a "sarcastic" font on every website, where the normal user has the ability to comment or write. Too much grief has been caused from this.

Second, I would do a deep clean of YouTube, and drive out low content providers that are profiting off other people.(I'm looking at you RWJ).