...silence, space wench. *steals your breastplate* >.>
OT: Silence, Bentley. I know what I'm doing here. I'm a thief for Christ's sake.
OT: Silence, Bentley. I know what I'm doing here. I'm a thief for Christ's sake.
If you woke up in the same bed as the above avatar.
- Thread starter Dango
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@Shock: D: Scandalous wench! That's my thieving hat! *steals back the hat, before stealing your helmet*
OT:...I'm not going to try and steal anything from you. Honest. :O
OT:...I'm not going to try and steal anything from you. Honest. :O
Sly... let me take a look at those books so I can de-code them for you.
I am a master-codebreaker after all.
I am a master-codebreaker after all.
Fine, take the books Bentley, try and find Murray too, so I don't get stabbed or anything. :S
Why not?
*mind-fucks ShockValue so that she thinks she's Carmelita Fox*
EDIT:
*whispering to himself*
The hidden blades are mine at last!
*mind-fucks ShockValue so that she thinks she's Carmelita Fox*
EDIT:
*whispering to himself*
The hidden blades are mine at last!
Hidden what's, Bentley? :3
@Shock: Fine, take your helmet back. I wouldn't be able to fence it, anyway.
@Shock: Fine, take your helmet back. I wouldn't be able to fence it, anyway.
Hi there.
I just translated another "joke" that I found on the internet (I was the one who sent Best of the 3 that Elvis-joke), and I figured I'd just post it here.
I just translated another "joke" that I found on the internet (I was the one who sent Best of the 3 that Elvis-joke), and I figured I'd just post it here.
The 25 most common kinds of poop.
1. The ghost poop
This is the poop you can feel come out, you see marks after it on the toilet paper, but it's not in the toilet.
2. The clean poop
This poop is characterized by your feeling it come out, you see it (often floating around) in the toilet, but no matter how much you rub, you can't see anything on the toilet paper.
3. The wet poop
You wipe your ass fifty times, but you still feel unwiped. You end up putting toilet paper in your pants to avoid those nasty skidmarks
4. The second wave poop
This clever shit comes not until you've managed to pull your pants back up. You suddenly notice that you have to poop a little bit more.
5. The blow-your-brain-out-of-your-nose poop
Also known as the "Bust-a-vein-in-the-forehead poop". Getting this one out is such a strain that your face turns purple and you nearly get a heart-attack.
6. The corn cob poop
This one needs no further explanation.
7. The boa-poop
This is the poop that is so enormous that you daren't flush it until you have crushed it to bits with the toilet brush.
8. The "day after" poop
The poop that comes in the morning after a long night out on the town. Can normally be recognized by for the skidmarks it leaves in the left side of the toilet bowl.
9. The "Gah, I really wish I could poop" poop
You have to poop, but all you can manage is to sit on the toilet with cramps, farting.
10. The "wet cheeks" poop
Very similar to "the powerpoop", which will be mentioned later in this poop-guide. This kind flies out of your back end with enough force to make your buttcheeks soaked wet from the toilet water. You did naturally pee first.
11. The spray poop
The poop you thought was a fart, but turns out to be a pure inferno. It feels as if your entire back is going to empty into the toilet bowl. Yellow-brown sludge that burns terribly. Go take your temperature.
12. The burritopoop.
In a league of its own. Comes the day after you've eaten mexican food.
13. The audience poop
The poop that is so sensational ? either because of size, colour and/or shape ? that you simply have to show it to someone before you flush it.
14. The happypoop
Occurs after you have felt down for a longer period of time. Suddenly, you are your old self.
15. The ritual poop
This one comes at the same time every day, and is characterized by the need for having something to read while pooping.
16. The aftershock poop
This poop smells so horrible that it affects all those who visitt he toilet in the next seven hours. Not particularly popular in combination with nr. 17
17. The "after the wedding night" poop
Any poop that is produced in the presence of another person.
18. The pontoon-poop
Characterized by its ability to float. You often have to flush three or four times before it is completely gone.
19. The peasant-poop
The poop that just won't let go. Normally moving your behind in a figure eight or up and down pattern will do, but you often have to give it a push with some toilet paper.
20. The phantom poop
This dumpling mysteriously appears in the toilet bowl now and then, and noone will admit to having put it there.
21. The hallelujah poop
A wonderful collection of small heartbreakers. Often a gift from God, when you haven't managed to squeeze out anything after hours of hard work.
22. The duracell poop
Also known as the "still going" poop
23. The powerpoop
The clump that comes like a lightning strike, and you barely have the time to pull down your pants before you?re done.
24. The "Call a plumber" poop
The one that is so big that it clogs the pipe and makes the toilet overflow. Very embarassing! You regret not following the procedure from #7
25. The "Spinal tap" poop
This is the poop that hurts so much, you can swear it's coming out sideways.
1. The ghost poop
This is the poop you can feel come out, you see marks after it on the toilet paper, but it's not in the toilet.
2. The clean poop
This poop is characterized by your feeling it come out, you see it (often floating around) in the toilet, but no matter how much you rub, you can't see anything on the toilet paper.
3. The wet poop
You wipe your ass fifty times, but you still feel unwiped. You end up putting toilet paper in your pants to avoid those nasty skidmarks
4. The second wave poop
This clever shit comes not until you've managed to pull your pants back up. You suddenly notice that you have to poop a little bit more.
5. The blow-your-brain-out-of-your-nose poop
Also known as the "Bust-a-vein-in-the-forehead poop". Getting this one out is such a strain that your face turns purple and you nearly get a heart-attack.
6. The corn cob poop
This one needs no further explanation.
7. The boa-poop
This is the poop that is so enormous that you daren't flush it until you have crushed it to bits with the toilet brush.
8. The "day after" poop
The poop that comes in the morning after a long night out on the town. Can normally be recognized by for the skidmarks it leaves in the left side of the toilet bowl.
9. The "Gah, I really wish I could poop" poop
You have to poop, but all you can manage is to sit on the toilet with cramps, farting.
10. The "wet cheeks" poop
Very similar to "the powerpoop", which will be mentioned later in this poop-guide. This kind flies out of your back end with enough force to make your buttcheeks soaked wet from the toilet water. You did naturally pee first.
11. The spray poop
The poop you thought was a fart, but turns out to be a pure inferno. It feels as if your entire back is going to empty into the toilet bowl. Yellow-brown sludge that burns terribly. Go take your temperature.
12. The burritopoop.
In a league of its own. Comes the day after you've eaten mexican food.
13. The audience poop
The poop that is so sensational ? either because of size, colour and/or shape ? that you simply have to show it to someone before you flush it.
14. The happypoop
Occurs after you have felt down for a longer period of time. Suddenly, you are your old self.
15. The ritual poop
This one comes at the same time every day, and is characterized by the need for having something to read while pooping.
16. The aftershock poop
This poop smells so horrible that it affects all those who visitt he toilet in the next seven hours. Not particularly popular in combination with nr. 17
17. The "after the wedding night" poop
Any poop that is produced in the presence of another person.
18. The pontoon-poop
Characterized by its ability to float. You often have to flush three or four times before it is completely gone.
19. The peasant-poop
The poop that just won't let go. Normally moving your behind in a figure eight or up and down pattern will do, but you often have to give it a push with some toilet paper.
20. The phantom poop
This dumpling mysteriously appears in the toilet bowl now and then, and noone will admit to having put it there.
21. The hallelujah poop
A wonderful collection of small heartbreakers. Often a gift from God, when you haven't managed to squeeze out anything after hours of hard work.
22. The duracell poop
Also known as the "still going" poop
23. The powerpoop
The clump that comes like a lightning strike, and you barely have the time to pull down your pants before you?re done.
24. The "Call a plumber" poop
The one that is so big that it clogs the pipe and makes the toilet overflow. Very embarassing! You regret not following the procedure from #7
25. The "Spinal tap" poop
This is the poop that hurts so much, you can swear it's coming out sideways.
@Snow: Good!
@Doc: Well seeing as how I don't know who that is that may be difficult. Off to google!
@Doc: Well seeing as how I don't know who that is that may be difficult. Off to google!