If your significant other cheated...

[Bara_no_Hime]

ok where do find other people with your view on this cause i have never actually found another whose actually able to keep it open without bloody guilt and possessiveness coming into play
also lol at the taco's

We met in college. We were friends during college, but never dated. After college, we were hanging out, and we ended up having sex. The sex was good, so we spent some time trying to decide if we should be friends with benefits or actually date. Since we were close friends, we had some real sexual chemistry, and we trusted one another, we decided to go ahead and date. Best dating experience I've ever had.

We decided early on that we were both interested in sex with other people. Our relationship was more about best friend who wanted to spend as much time together as possible - and have lots of sex. We were both bisexual, and we both wanted to continue exploring our mutual sexuality - and who better to explore with than one's best friend?

So yeah, our relationship started with an open component (or at least a share-and-share-alike component). As for where we found each other - upstate New York liberal arts college. **shrug** As they say, YMMV.

And yes, my tacos are very tasty. The secret ingredient is Chipotle Tabasco sauce.

 

[Aetera]

1. It would make somewhat of a difference, depending on if it was just a one night fling or a long term affair.
2. I'd only be willing to stay with her and work things out if it was a one time fling AND she told me herself. If it was a long term affair, I wouldn't be able to stand staying in the relationship with her no matter what.
3. Female.

 

[glyphseeker]

depends if she had a bit of shame of doing it

if so:then ask what i can do to fix it

if not: it be over

 

[Plurralbles]

Male and there is literally nothing that would convince me to stay with her.

I have dealt with shit too much to get walked all over again.

 

[Duskwaith]

I caught my gf of 2 years cheating on me the other day.

No matter if she told me or not she had already been at it for a while. I looked after that girl after her rape and she didnt have the deceny to tell me to my face that she was with another guy. If you cheat your usually just a complete scrum bag who dosnt deserve the person your cheating on unless they are beating you up etc.

Bottom line is just break up with someone, dont cheat on them. Its far far worse when you eventually find out, trust me :/

 

[Socks and Shoes]

Dude.

Cheats on me=Boot out the door with their stuff right behind them. I've done it before, and hopefully won't have to do it again.

 

[Leon Last Lord Shyle]

snip

hmmm sounds like you where rather lucky in finding that then...

also is it wierd that the taco's interest me more

 

[lazysquirell]

I'm taking a poll for a class, so I need honest opinions!

Here's the situation. Let's say your significant other cheated on you, but instead of finding out some dramatic way, they came clean and told you themselves.

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
3. Are you male or female?

Thanks, guys!
Note: I know it really depends on the circumstances, but I mean in a general and hypothetical situation, if possible. Or, if anything, think about the relationship you're currently in now and apply it to this.

I've had this happen to me twice with different partners. One relationship fell apart because of it the other sadly ended due to her career taking her abroad. So I felt somewhat compelled to give my opinions even if they're skewed somewhat.

1) I think being honest about it makes it worse in a way at least by hiding it you still have the comfort that they at least cared enough to not want to hurt you if that makes sense. Also in those situations I found myself wanting a reason to hit the roof to just let my anger out rather than bottling it up so whilst drama is a horrible way to find out it sort of helps in the end... Or maybe I'm weird... It does of course depend on the type of relationship you have. As for my willingness to work through it it all depends on the person but if we're assuming it's a long term relationship thats been good and has had this happen as a bombshell then yes I would be willing.

2) I've tried to work through it once successfully and once unsucessfully it depends on how they react. For me I can understand that people make mistakes if they give me the time to sort my head out calm down and are sincere in their appologies I see no real reason to not at least try to make things work again sadly it doesn't always pan out that way.

3) Male

Hope this helps

 

[Andaxay]

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?

To be honest, no matter how I found out, the deed would still be done. As much as I'd like to think that I could forgive them, I just wouldn't be able to trust after something like that. I'd be constantly questioning where they were, all the time, and that doesn't make for a healthy relationship. So I'd be calling it quits.

2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?

I'll be honest, my relationship doesn't feel that strong at the moment. If something happened now, I'd just walk away. Two years in and I'm not happy where we are without him even cheating, so I wouldn't want to consider any other option.

3. Are you male or female?

Female.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

snip

hmmm sounds like you where rather lucky in finding that then...

also is it wierd that the taco's interest me more

Mm, I'd say less luck, and more persistence. I dated a number of my other college friends too. Many of those relationships did not end so well (see the Crush thread for details, if you care. Or, you know, PM me).

As for the tacos:

Ingredients:
1 pound ground beef - 85% lean or better (my personal preference is 90%)
1 can of Tomatoes with Chilies.
1/2 jar of salsa (I use medium chunky, but any will do)
1 bell pepper (any color) diced
1-2 teaspoons of McCormick's Fajita seasoning (or just salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, cumin, and Mexican oregano)
1-2 teaspoons of Chipotle Tabasco sauce

Mix the above in a big pot, with the meat raw - stir.
Place on medium heat until the water begins to separate out - stir again, cover, and increase to High heat. The mixture will come to a boil.

After about 15 minutes, remove the lid and allow the liquid to evaporate. Keep stirring.

When the liquid is mostly gone, reduce heat back to medium. When the bottom begins to scorch (remember, you're still stirring) turn off the heat.

Spoon the resulting taco meat into whatever kind of shell you like.

For added flavor, add fresh cilantro. If you like cilantro, that is.
And whatever you do, do not use corn, bean, or fruit based salsa at the beginning - doesn't work out well. Those are great to put on your tacos at the end, though. Again, if you like those sorts of salsa.

 

[John the Gamer]

1 yes, I'd very much appreciate their honesty
2 Since they admitted I'd give them one more chance, after that it's over.
3 Male

 

[Ham Blitz]

I haven't had to encounter this situation yet, but I kind of think I would establish a rule like this: If we are just dating (The whole Girlfriend boyfriend thing) I would probably end the relationship. At that point I'd assume I'm just not that interesting to her anymore.
Weirdly enough, if I happened to be married, I might let it go if she promises not to do it again and tries to cut all ties with the person she slept with. Granted even if those conditions weren't met, I would stil let it slide once or twice.
Basically, the short answer would be this:
Just dating: End the relationship
Married: Once or twice let it slide
I am male
Good day

 

[Inglip]

I suppose I'd be angry and dissapointed at first, but I reckon we could work through it. If she came clean, then she obviously feels guilty for it and loves me over the other man.

 

[Chewster]

1. Of course. That shows they are at least willing to take the first step towards rectifying it, instead of just ending the affair and pretending like it is all cool. Too many people I have known did just that and it always seemed to end poorly.

Regardless, if it were just a short tryst, like a one-night stand or something, I probably wouldn't be that phased.

3. Dude.

It should also be noted that even though I've yet to cheat on someone and probably never would, I still don't put much value on monogamy. As far as having kids go, it makes a degree of sense, but otherwise, what is the point? I think more people would be happy if they were in open relationships.