The best way to preface this question requires a brief bit of story telling. Six years ago, I met a dynamite lady friend while on pre-deployment leave. While I had and incredible time, the crushing reality of the situation was obvious from the start. I was about to head off to Iraq for a year and she was a sophomore in college and outside of a movie it was quite the relationship had an expiration date. Still, I endeavored to ignore this point as long as possible and simply enjoy the time we had together.
I deployed eventually of course and stayed in touch to the best of my ability but eventually inevitability caught up with us and she remembered she was a 20 year old college student and moved on. I knew this was going to happen and as such the impact of the news was less severe than it might have been otherwise. About a year later, my deployment was complete and I briefly saw her again over the Christmas holiday five years ago. Other than an incidental message on myspace a fee years ago, we have had no contact.
In the half decade it has been since we last met, I have left the army and started college in earnest. Last semester, I transferred to a university and moved to a new city. I have had girlfriends since of course and in spite of my best efforts, they have all been held against this girl I only briefly dated. The short version is that in spite of my sincerest efforts, I never really got over this girl.
So, imagine then my surprise when I found myself quite bored over the winter break and found (through Facebook of course) that she had returned to college as a graduate student. What's more, she was attending a branch of my university in a city a mere hour away. I already had plans to visit her city of residence as my best friend lives there anyhow. I suggested we meet for lunch while I was in town and she agreed.
My expectations going in to this while thing were rather low. I assumed we would be meeting as acquaintances or perhaps friends at best. To skip a lot of the story, as the afternoon carried into the evening, I became increasingly convinced she was hitting on me. After having a wonderful time, she suggested (it was already quite late) that I watch the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, a movie I had always intended to see but had somehow managed to avoid. So, I went to her apartment and we watched the movie.
In the end, I decided I did no care for the ambiguity and simply decided to kiss her to see if my theory was correct. One thing led to another and now she is once again my girlfriend.
But I have a problem: I can escape from the gnawing sensation that there is something terribly wrong with this scenario. Things like this don't happen to people much less to me. I keep thinking that there is some elaborate joke in the works that has yet to reveal itself and would not be terribly surprised if I were abjure by a film crew at some point where the whole thing was revealed as some incredibly cruel con.
So, the question then is how do I escape from my irrational fears regarding this situation?
I deployed eventually of course and stayed in touch to the best of my ability but eventually inevitability caught up with us and she remembered she was a 20 year old college student and moved on. I knew this was going to happen and as such the impact of the news was less severe than it might have been otherwise. About a year later, my deployment was complete and I briefly saw her again over the Christmas holiday five years ago. Other than an incidental message on myspace a fee years ago, we have had no contact.
In the half decade it has been since we last met, I have left the army and started college in earnest. Last semester, I transferred to a university and moved to a new city. I have had girlfriends since of course and in spite of my best efforts, they have all been held against this girl I only briefly dated. The short version is that in spite of my sincerest efforts, I never really got over this girl.
So, imagine then my surprise when I found myself quite bored over the winter break and found (through Facebook of course) that she had returned to college as a graduate student. What's more, she was attending a branch of my university in a city a mere hour away. I already had plans to visit her city of residence as my best friend lives there anyhow. I suggested we meet for lunch while I was in town and she agreed.
My expectations going in to this while thing were rather low. I assumed we would be meeting as acquaintances or perhaps friends at best. To skip a lot of the story, as the afternoon carried into the evening, I became increasingly convinced she was hitting on me. After having a wonderful time, she suggested (it was already quite late) that I watch the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, a movie I had always intended to see but had somehow managed to avoid. So, I went to her apartment and we watched the movie.
In the end, I decided I did no care for the ambiguity and simply decided to kiss her to see if my theory was correct. One thing led to another and now she is once again my girlfriend.
But I have a problem: I can escape from the gnawing sensation that there is something terribly wrong with this scenario. Things like this don't happen to people much less to me. I keep thinking that there is some elaborate joke in the works that has yet to reveal itself and would not be terribly surprised if I were abjure by a film crew at some point where the whole thing was revealed as some incredibly cruel con.
So, the question then is how do I escape from my irrational fears regarding this situation?
