I'm a Smooth Operator

[Paragon Fury]

So I went to go see Jurassic World last night with a friend and while I was out I decided to get my haircut. Two girls working there, fairly normal. Get my haircut, friend comes in with his stuff from the food court as I'm paying. Makes idle chat with them, topic of blood comes up (apparently he sees plenty of it, working at a school with kids who injure themselves in the most adorably dumbass ways) and he says the girls probably wouldn't like it because of the blood.

To which I respond; "Oh, I'm sure they see way more blood than you do." My line of thought being that having gone to school to learn how to cut hair, they saw plenty of blood when people messed up. He just leaves right at that. I hand the lady her tip, oblivious at that time to the look on her face.

I get out to the car and my friend is fucking dying of laughter. I ask WTF he is laughing so hard about; but as he begins it dawns on me and, yeah.

There is one less hair place I can go to now.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Actually, having gone to a hairdressing school for a cheap cut recently, they told me that nobody gets cut into because they practice on manikins before they get to handle clients.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the movie. XD

 

[DefunctTheory]

I am struggling to keep my laughter in since people are asleep here. This is the stuff of legends. They write songs about people like you.


You have truly brightened my night.

 

[Guffe]

Oh man I must stop coming to this site when at work :,D
Laughing out loud isn't the best way of showing "efficient working" xD
Nah I'm doing my job, seriously, just a coffee break going on...
Fun story mate! Thanks for the good start to this morning!

 

[Something Amyss]

Personally, I thought "haven't heard that one before."

Best pictured in Daria Morgendorfer's voice.

 

[Phasmal]

Hahaha.
Well, to be fair, you're right.

Spoiler

To be honest I must be more socially awkward than I thought because I'd have just been like `yep` if someone had said that to me.
This is why I don't talk to people. >.>

Well, in exchange, here's a story about a game shop I can never go back into:

I was walking down the street near the shop, on the phone to my boyfriend, discussing the Black Armour Edition of Dark Souls 2, which came with a free t-shirt. I was saying how it was so irritating that we only got 1 t-shirt even though we both were going to play the game equally, and that they should let you get these things as couples. Now, because ONE TIME a guy in a game shop gave me a free scart adapter, my boyfriend likes to joke that I can `bat my eyelids and get whatever want for free`, and so he says, `oh just bat your eyelids!` and I laugh along with him and say `Yes, yes, they'll give me everything I want if I bat my eyelids`. AS A JOKE.
And then the guy walking next to me gives me a filthy look and goes into the store. Turns out he works there. He had no idea I was joking. I can never go in there again.

 

[Paragon Fury]

I am struggling to keep my laughter in since people are asleep here. This is the stuff of legends. They write songs about people like you.


You have truly brightened my night.

I know. If I get anymore awkward socially it'll loop around and start benefiting other people.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

Here's an embarrassing story for you: In college chemistry class we had some pretty shitty equipment, especially the test tube racks. So one day one of my tubes falls out of the crappy holder and spills. As I turn to a female classmate I notice she has a brand new test tube holder! In annoyance at the situation I blurted out, "Great, this piece of crap just ruined my experiment. At least YOU'VE got a nice rack!"

It took about a minute for me to realize why that wasn't the best way to phrase it.

Are you kiddin' me? That was the best thing that you could have said. If only you actually meant it. The way you say things makes all the difference. Sexy wordplay is a perfectly acceptable form of flirting and most women find that kind of word play funny. I speak from experience. The ones that find it offensive tend to have boring personalities.

 

[Shraggler]

I feel like I'm missing the joke...

What exactly is funny about that anecdote? Where is the social misstep that would cause you to believe you'd be an unwelcome patron?

Was her reactive facial expression the funny part? Because you kinda glossed over that, yet it seems like that's what your friend was laughing at. Am I wrong?

I am very confused.

 

[Cowabungaa]

I feel like I'm missing the joke...

Talking about the whole period thing like that, or seeming like you do, isn't exactly seen as a fun thing. Over here in Belgium, or back home in The Netherlands, you'd probably see the girls laugh out loud and confirm it in a quipping manner. We don't care man, we don't have as many taboos.

 

[Shraggler]

Talking about the whole period thing like that, or seeming like you do, isn't exactly seen as a fun thing. Over here in Belgium, or back home in The Netherlands, you'd probably see the girls laugh out loud and confirm it in a quipping manner. We don't care man, we don't have as many taboos.

Wow, I missed that entirely. The plane didn't just miss the runway, it bypassed the airport completely.

That's such an odd logical step for the hairdressers to jump to. I guess it could make sense depending on context.

But the way it's conveyed, I just assumed that the hairdressers were affronted by the author's idea of hairdressing school; it's so haphazard and unprofessional that people are getting cut up more than their hair. It threw me.

 

[lechat]

been meaning to make a post about this but I wonder if any girls are scared or faint at the sight of blood. could make things slightly tricky.

 

[Paragon Fury]

I feel like I'm missing the joke...

What exactly is funny about that anecdote? Where is the social misstep that would cause you to believe you'd be an unwelcome patron?

Was her reactive facial expression the funny part? Because you kinda glossed over that, yet it seems like that's what your friend was laughing at. Am I wrong?

I am very confused.

I wound up making a very...distasteful menstruation joke by accident.