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I'm feeling pretty empty right now...
- Thread starter Free Thinker
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I feel a little similar as to how you describe, though the situations are different of course.
Suffice to say, I feel used, cheated out of something that wasn't mine, and humiliated. And unclean, very unclean. Filthy even. But we won't go into that, ha. Then there's the empty feeling. Oh, the emptiness. :/
There are going to be many instances in your life where things just don't go your way. The trick. I think, is to try and manipulate yourself into believing that it isn't all futile -> "If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."
That's what it all is. Occasionally I'll have a sudden clear-headed moment, and then I'll think "I've faced people like this before, I know they aren't worth it. I need to move on." Yeah sure, in the not-so-logical moments it's difficult to think past the empty feeling, or the hurt (when it rears its ugly head). But still, before all this happened, I know that I didn't have that logical voice in my head. It's all experience. *burns into own mind*
I doubt I've helped. But you know, by the looks of some of these other replies, it seems you've got a pretty nice supportive gaming community as your back up.
Suffice to say, I feel used, cheated out of something that wasn't mine, and humiliated. And unclean, very unclean. Filthy even. But we won't go into that, ha. Then there's the empty feeling. Oh, the emptiness. :/
There are going to be many instances in your life where things just don't go your way. The trick. I think, is to try and manipulate yourself into believing that it isn't all futile -> "If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."
That's what it all is. Occasionally I'll have a sudden clear-headed moment, and then I'll think "I've faced people like this before, I know they aren't worth it. I need to move on." Yeah sure, in the not-so-logical moments it's difficult to think past the empty feeling, or the hurt (when it rears its ugly head). But still, before all this happened, I know that I didn't have that logical voice in my head. It's all experience. *burns into own mind*
I doubt I've helped. But you know, by the looks of some of these other replies, it seems you've got a pretty nice supportive gaming community as your back up.
I'm sorry to hear that... depression is an extremely difficult thing to get through.
Personal experience has taught me that unless you know what you want, know what will make you happy, and are willing to make the effort, nothing's going to change. Surround yourself with things that make you happy, help you ignore or forget the things that are bringing you down. Don't expect them to be an instant fix, but believe that eventually you'll find laughter and joy in them again.
Also, there's no shame in the fact that you haven't kissed a girl. Fuck society and it's guidelines as to when it's necessary to have done whatever, and however many times. As difficult as it is, stop worrying about this girl and how she doesn't like you. She sounds immature and inconsiderate, who needs that in their life? One day you'll find the love of your life, and you really just have to hold onto that (it's a cliche for a reason). As for the bullying in school, I'm sorry about that, there really isn't much you can do, unless you're brave enough and believe that the teachers (or parents) will provide a solution to this.
As already suggested, talking to people (anyone really) can only help, at least if they are genuinely offering to listen. Of course, if you're too uncomfortable with the thought of talking to a stranger, that's fine. Just sometimes it's nice to talk to someone completely removed from the situation. You're more likely to get an honest opinion. I'm not sure if you have brothers or sisters, or parents that you're close to or feel comfortable confiding in, but hopefully you do, and hopefully they'll be supportive. Having people you love and trust beside you for support will help.
Has the insomnia kicked in? That's the worst part, at least for me. I spend the night over-analyzing everything in my life, which only leads to feeling further depressed and alone. If you're having difficulties sleeping, your muscles are sore, you get more headaches more often, or you have less energy than ever before, it may be time to talk to a doctor. I don't like resorting to medication, but sometimes it's the best (and only) step.
Surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends, things you enjoy, and keeping positive is the way through depression. Every time you find yourself focusing on the negative, remind yourself of the positive. Don't feel like you have any? You do. Can't think of any, talk to people, have them point those positives out, and write them down. Negativity only breeds negativity.
Lastly, if you need someone to talk to, someone with experience and knowledge of depression, I'm more than happy to listen. I'm also happy to give you more advice, if you're too uncomfortable telling me personal things. I'm here for support, because I know what it's like, and I don't want someone going through it alone if I can help it.
Personal experience has taught me that unless you know what you want, know what will make you happy, and are willing to make the effort, nothing's going to change. Surround yourself with things that make you happy, help you ignore or forget the things that are bringing you down. Don't expect them to be an instant fix, but believe that eventually you'll find laughter and joy in them again.
Also, there's no shame in the fact that you haven't kissed a girl. Fuck society and it's guidelines as to when it's necessary to have done whatever, and however many times. As difficult as it is, stop worrying about this girl and how she doesn't like you. She sounds immature and inconsiderate, who needs that in their life? One day you'll find the love of your life, and you really just have to hold onto that (it's a cliche for a reason). As for the bullying in school, I'm sorry about that, there really isn't much you can do, unless you're brave enough and believe that the teachers (or parents) will provide a solution to this.
As already suggested, talking to people (anyone really) can only help, at least if they are genuinely offering to listen. Of course, if you're too uncomfortable with the thought of talking to a stranger, that's fine. Just sometimes it's nice to talk to someone completely removed from the situation. You're more likely to get an honest opinion. I'm not sure if you have brothers or sisters, or parents that you're close to or feel comfortable confiding in, but hopefully you do, and hopefully they'll be supportive. Having people you love and trust beside you for support will help.
Has the insomnia kicked in? That's the worst part, at least for me. I spend the night over-analyzing everything in my life, which only leads to feeling further depressed and alone. If you're having difficulties sleeping, your muscles are sore, you get more headaches more often, or you have less energy than ever before, it may be time to talk to a doctor. I don't like resorting to medication, but sometimes it's the best (and only) step.
Surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends, things you enjoy, and keeping positive is the way through depression. Every time you find yourself focusing on the negative, remind yourself of the positive. Don't feel like you have any? You do. Can't think of any, talk to people, have them point those positives out, and write them down. Negativity only breeds negativity.
Lastly, if you need someone to talk to, someone with experience and knowledge of depression, I'm more than happy to listen. I'm also happy to give you more advice, if you're too uncomfortable telling me personal things. I'm here for support, because I know what it's like, and I don't want someone going through it alone if I can help it.
