I'm highly considering suicide

[RaikuFA]

Here's why:
My fiancee cheated on me and is possibly pregnant with the guys kid.

I have no friends.

Family kicking me out on the streets yet keeping my junkie brother.

I have a dead end job and can not get a second/better job.

Section 8 housing will not give me the time of day.

I'm disabled and am getting thrown off of disability because all of my papers were lost by the post office and possibly my identity could have been stolen as a result.

So what's the point of living?

 

[Asita]

Like pretty much everyone here, I'm not exactly qualified to offer advice on this subject. But for what it's worth, there are resources available for this kind of thing. If you're feeling suicidal, please, make use of them. As your profile lists you as living in the US, you can reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline here.

 

[Reasonable Atheist]

Consider the possibility that the child is yours. Live for that, at least for the time being.

 

[Terminal Blue]

Considering suicide isn't necessarily a problem. It's a pretty bad sign in terms of your mental health, but it doesn't mean you have to try and kill yourself and it certainly doesn't mean you will end up doing so. Not seeing the point of living happens to a lot of people at various points in their lives, and in your case it just seems like you've been hit with a bunch of shitty, awful things at the same time. It's fine to feel extremely miserable in that situation and it's fine to turn to other people for help, you shouldn't have to deal with it on your own. That is kind of why we have medical professionals to help with these situations.

I can't promise you that these situations will improve or go away, in that sense I can't give you a reason for living. All I can do is to point that if you do live you get to find out whether things will ever improve, whereas if you die you won't. I would say, and correct me if I'm talking bullshit, that unless you have some terminal illness which means it is just a spiral downwards from this point it's always worth taking a chance on living. It might be impossible to imagine that anything could get better, but that can sometimes be because your imagination (and mine, and everyone's) is limited. Sometimes all survival means is just going through the motions of trying things even if you internally believe that they are not going to work.

Okay, it seems you live in the states, so I can't help you too much with the practicalities of how to go about asking for help. I don't know if it would be possible for you to go to a doctor, for example. I would say if you can afford it on your current salary, do, because even if all they can do is throw drugs at you, that might actually be enough. Antidepressants do work for a lot of people, and while in your case they won't fix the problems in your life they might make it easier for you to be less torn apart when things like this happen and to just generally cope with it better.

If you can't get professional medical help, however, there are quite a few opportunities now in terms of online peer support (beyond just randomers on a video game forum). There are charities which run forums specifically for people who are grappling with suicide or mental health issues (maybe you don't want to think of yourself as having mental health issues, but if you're thinking about suicide that kind of qualifies you for support). Again, all my examples will be from the UK context, but I'd be shocked if something similar didn't exist where you live.

Again though, anything that helps you survive is good (for the most part, at least.) Sometimes it is just about surviving long enough based only on the possibility that things get better.

 

[Loonyyy]

Join the club.

There isn't any point in living, but there isn't any point in living whether you're suicidal or not. Life is what you make it. It's not easy, but you have to focus on some form of engagement, often with other people. And if you think it long enough, if you pretend hard enough, if you distract yourself enough, it'll pass. Like my doc says, "It's the thinking that makes it so". Talking to people is a good start. And it's hard, and it sucks, especially if you feel like that. But it's your only real option. Reach out to someone, anyone, and talk. Not necessarily about it. Just don't be alone, don't feel alone.

I can't say that life's worth living. I'd be lying if I said I believed it, and for all I know, from here it is all downhill for you. Maybe things do just get worse, for you, maybe you have been dealt the worst hand possible. Asking you to tolerate it for some future gain isn't very appealing. What I can say is that the feeling is not necessarily a response to the circumstances. You can be homeless and dying and happy, and well off and miserable. It's a matter of perspective, and mental health and hygiene. You don't have to wait for circumstances to change for the better, because it's up to you to create your own perspective and happiness. And that's a fucking cliche, and it sucks. I'm a miserable ****, I'm bitter and cynical, and that's because I'm a hypocrite, because I can't live up to my own advice here. And that's ok, because I'm still pulling through at least. I may hate myself enough to die, but I also hate myself enough to not let that part win, or at least that's what I tell myself about my own squeamishness.

Talk to someone, and consider some sort of support group (Opinions are mixed on those for depression, but you need someone to talk to), a psychologist, or just your GP. Talk to friends, family, random strangers. You've already spilled your guts here. Surely there's at least one person on here you think is worth talking to. Send them a message. Try a call centre, but don't get your hopes up. Last time I called on they fucking put me on hold and hung up on me.

There must be someone in your life who you have some sort of relationship with. If you can, ask them, and ask for help. It sounds like you've got a lot of your life to put in order, and fuck knows that's hard when you're dealing with this.

 

[Batou667]

My advice would be: don't get mad, get even. Bounce back, claw your way back up, become a success (however you choose to define success, you're the boss), and tell everybody who doubted you to go fuck themselves.

In the meantime, there are organisations who can help you. Do your research and take everything available.

 

[Aulleas123]

My advice would be: don't get mad, get even. Bounce back, claw your way back up, become a success (however you choose to define success, you're the boss), and tell everybody who doubted you to go fuck themselves.

In the meantime, there are organisations who can help you. Do your research and take everything available.

This.

You're facing adversity from a bunch of people who lack basic humanity. I'm sure that you've heard the phrase "Living well is the best revenge"? In this case, take it to heart.

Life is hard now, I understand. Being in a dead end job is harsh and I'm not sure where you live currently so I have no clue as to what you can do specifically. There are steps that you can take to currently stop some of the damage that's happened so far. First, contact your bank and check on the identity issue. Banks have services that can aid you, if your identity gets stolen, they get screwed over, so it's in their interest to help you out.

With the social situation, I don't want to presume that you "don't know if the child is yours" but if there is some possibility, then you don't want the child growing up without their dad because the dad ended his own life. For friends, it's about finding new situations. I know with the job it may seem like you have no time, but if you have time then find something that you are somewhat interested in (such as a gaming group) and the friends may follow. It's not guaranteed, but it's worth a shot.

Others have suggested professional help and I agree with them. It may be medication or it may be a counselor or psychologist to talk to, regardless make it work. This path requires sacrifice but choosing the other way will, at worst, lead to a permanent decision that you can't take back. That kind of permanence is not the sign of intelligence, and I sense that there is an intelligent guy at the other end of this message.

Stay strong, push through the adversity, and cram it in their faces when you get through!

 

[RaikuFA]

Well, some good news. She ain't pregnant. We're gonna take a hiatus. Still having issues. With the home issue section 8 is still ignoring me.

 

[Barbas]

Well, some good news. She ain't pregnant. We're gonna take a hiatus. Still having issues. With the home issue section 8 is still ignoring me.

This is good. A hiatus means that you can focus primarily on your own hurdles. Have you browsed any of the links in the stickied Advice Forum thread to see if any of them are particularly relevant to your situation?

 

[RaikuFA]

Your profile says you're from New Jersey. I can't offer you a couch or anything but as long as you're not too far away I could give you a warm car to sit in, some food in your belly and an ear to chat off.

Yes and no. I moved to cali back in 2012 and my aunt offered me a job back in NJ and I'm planning on going back to work there.

 

[Wary Wolf]

Yes and no. I moved to cali back in 2012 and my aunt offered me a job back in NJ and I'm planning on going back to work there.

A plan is great as well. Focus on what you can do and work towards it. Sounds like you're starting to shake off the funk though and I hope you can keep it off.

Sorry, when I was going through my suicidal ideation, all the advice given to me felt pretty worthless. So I sort of get that this all sort of helps, but also doesn't. Perhaps all I can say though is:

Fruitcake. It's fruit AND cake. It's like, good for you! You should definitely share.

Sometimes the absurd does help. So does sharing. So throw anything our way if you think it might help.

Otherwise, all the best man.

 

[RaikuFA]

So the guy that she left me for proposed to her.

Fuck me does life suck.

 

[Ninja-Jordan]

So the guy that she left me for proposed to her.

Fuck me does life suck.

Man, fuck that ****. Honestly, I've spent a few years in heartbreak hotel, so I know the kneejerk reaction is probably going to be "Hey man, I loved her, don't say that." But take it from a guy whose been there, FUCK THAT ****. She is not worth the time and energy you'll spend mourning her loss. If she was fine doing that to you, you should be fine telling her to get fucked. Take it from me man, don't waste the time mourning. Spend the time getting right back on the horse and finding someone who will put as much into it as you will.

As for the rest of it. Trust me, I'm right there with you. I'm terrified of the future, not wanting or willing to lock myself into a job I hate to make some asshole rich while I get no where, terrified that my career choices will get me no where, which will cause the girlfriend who I love to leave me and I'll be homeless in a year. I'm vexed by the futility of life in the shadow of death that wipes all semblance of life from memory. All I want is to do my own thing and be happy, but that doesn't pay the bills. I've contemplated suicide more times that I can count in these last few years. But for some reason I keep going. Maybe I'm waiting until I hit absolute bottom, or maybe I'm waiting to see if I can actually make it.

I can't tell you what to do, and I'm not here to preach. All I'll say is I firmly believe there is nothing after life. Death is the absence of consciousness, the absence of memory. You'll die, and it'll be like you never lived, because all your memories of life will blink out in an instant. So if you're confident that you want to leave this life, and leave nothing behind, I'd say there's no consequence. But I also believe that the only point to this life is to leave something behind. Your life carries on in your memory. So if you think you don't want to check out without leaving behind something that people will remember by you, then you've gotta keep fighting the fight.

 

[LetalisK]

The other advice you received is probably better, but as someone who has had depression since I can remember one of the things I do beyond on the typical things when depression and anxiety feels like it's going to crush me is to go read about people who have it waaaay worse than me. Usually starving African children does the trick. I end up feeling better about my situation and even a little sheepish.

I know it sounds weird, but that's just me. There are probably those who would read about starving African children and then jump off a bridge.

 

[RaikuFA]

I'm starting to realize life won't get better. No one wants me around. I'm too fat and ugly to make friends and my likes turn people away.

 

[Erttheking]

I'm starting to realize life won't get better. No one wants me around. I'm too fat and ugly to make friends and my likes turn people away.

These problems? They'll pass. Hardships are temporary. They're things that can be overcome. Things can and will get better. Don't take your own life. That's permanent. You can't ever go back on that.

 

[Barbas]

I'm starting to realize life won't get better. No one wants me around. I'm too fat and ugly to make friends and my likes turn people away.

You say that, but people here would certainly notice if you went missing one day and never came back. It's not possible to see whether life will become better or not with all the data in the world; people can't see that far ahead and chance plays a significant part. As for fat and ugly, both things are so subjective that they're hardly handicaps at all if you really think they apply to you. It matters comparatively little how someone looks on the outside compared to their actions, cheesy as that sounds. Actions attract people or turn them away far more than simple looks. I haven't been ejected from my own home by my family, or cheated on by someone I love, so I won't tell you that I understand how you feel, but it's not possible that you're the only person this has happened to so you're not alone in your plight. There are people, probably closer than you think, who know effective methods of comforting you better or helping you back on your feet, but you have to reach out to them so they know you're there. I think you'd be surprised to hear them talk about their own experiences and what they did.

Like ert said, taking your life is permanent. It's a very easy thing to screw up, and you might end up partially crippled or otherwise in a very sorry state if you do. On top of which, you can't honestly tell me unless you're an old man that there's nothing left in the world that you want to see or experience. If you think that's the case then you just plain haven't found it yet.