I'm highly considering suicide

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

You only get one life to experience the universe. Just one. You are the result of billions upon billions of years of chemical reactions, destruction and creation, living on a rock floating around a gigantic spinning ball of fire.

Life is too beautiful and too precious to take it away because of some assholes who have no respect for others. Live your life, live it well and laugh at those who attempt to bring you down, as well as those who have hurt you. So long as you laugh at them, and keep on living, you spite them by not giving your life away for their actions.

As much as they have taken from you, remember that everyone dies alone. No one dies gloriously or with dignity, everyone goes out as afraid and as alone as the day the are born. They may all seem to have united against you to make your life bad, but in the end, they will all eventually perish as alone as every other human being on earth.

As alone as you may seem now, or at any other point in time, you are only experiencing that which all other people try to avoid and run away from. If you can pick yourself up from those moments, to accept them, carry on regardless for yourself, you will no longer be afraid of being alone, and you will never actually be alone. Understanding that life is short and that everyone spends it trying to fight against it's brevity and emptyness will help you sympathise with others, and good people will return that sympathy in kind.

At the end of the day...life is too amazing to give up. All the pain, hurt, anger, despair may overwhelm you, but they share the same coin with joy, belonging, love and purpose. All of it, everything you know or ever will know will be taken away if you decide to end it. The whole universe will blink out of existence, as will the microcosm that makes up your life. It is final, and I beg you not to do that. Fuck the people who hurt you, fuck the circumstances. You are alive, thinking and capable, and that is all anyone, regardless of their situation, ever needs to make heaven on earth, so long as they live.

 

[Ninja-Jordan]

I'm starting to realize life won't get better. No one wants me around. I'm too fat and ugly to make friends and my likes turn people away.

Fat is the new thin broseph. And what are some of your likes?

 

[Gethsemani_v1legacy]

I'm starting to realize life won't get better. No one wants me around. I'm too fat and ugly to make friends and my likes turn people away.

So I am a nurse that works on a psychiatric ward in Sweden dealing chiefly in depressions and suicidal patients. That's my bias. There are no easy answer in a situation like the one you are in, no easy way outs. If you feel that you have no one to talk to in your vicinity, whatever that is family, next of kin, friends or just some person you've got a good report with, there are still places you can turn.
You can call places like http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or if you don't feel like talking there are numbers you can text [http://www.crisistextline.org/textline/?gclid=Cj0KEQiAtri0BRDLoaCF95e7o_sBEiQA_pgRQz_wO_mJYhQuHvgKkfLmiMpZ32LNXrJVCHQu2DKhUfIaAvrO8P8HAQ] (that link also has several other numbers you can try for immediate counseling.

More importantly, go see a general practitioner or a counselor. Tell a professional about your problems and let them guide you towards the many instances that can help you get back on track. From your posts I realize that shit ain't exactly looking up for you, but I also know from experience that pretty much everyone going through a crisis similar to yours can get back on track and return to a worthwhile life.

If nothing else, you can always drop me a PM on here and I'll get back to you.

 

[Jux]

Not a mental health care professional here, but if you ever want to talk, hit me up in PMs. I dealt with depression for around 16 years on and off, and while my circumstances weren't the same as yours, I do know what it feels like when life just doesn't feel worth living.

edit: If you're a gun owner, I would suggest removing the guns from your household and having a trusted person, that knows what you're going through, hold onto them for you.

 

[RaikuFA]

I'm starting to realize life won't get better. No one wants me around. I'm too fat and ugly to make friends and my likes turn people away.

Fat is the new thin broseph. And what are some of your likes?

Gaming(duh), mainly RPG's. Tv shows like Regular Show, Gravity Falls, American Dad, Bob's Burgers.

Just seems like people(especially girls which is why my relationship fell apart I believe) don't like it.

 

[RaikuFA]

edit: If you're a gun owner, I would suggest removing the guns from your household and having a trusted person, that knows what you're going through, hold onto them for you.

Thankfully I don't. Only gun I've ever held/fired was an air pistol.

 

[MercurySteam]

XCOM 2 comes out next month so there's that. Honestly mate if anyone was in need a fresh start I'd say it would be you, 'course easier said than done. For now focus on what positives there are and if need be the suicide helpline will always be around to chat.

 

[RaikuFA]

Well my brother got arrested for possession with intent to sell.

Dunno how to feel.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

I'm starting to realize life won't get better. No one wants me around. I'm too fat and ugly to make friends and my likes turn people away.

Fat is the new thin broseph. And what are some of your likes?

Gaming(duh), mainly RPG's. Tv shows like Regular Show, Gravity Falls, American Dad, Bob's Burgers.

Just seems like people(especially girls which is why my relationship fell apart I believe) don't like it.

A lot of people do like things like that. And people don't have to share your every interest. And I'm saying this from interaction with my friends.

I don't want to sound mean, but you seem to have a very defeatist attitude. If that bleeds into real life that can be kind of off putting for people. Because a lot of people share those interests and a lot of people will be friends of people with those interests even without sharing them. So it may be something else like demeanor or attitude.

 

[Barbas]

Well my brother got arrested for possession with intent to sell.

Dunno how to feel.

Well, to try and provide a different approach here, that's something that probably makes you look like a considerably more mature person in comparison.

 

[RaikuFA]

Well my brother got arrested for possession with intent to sell.

Dunno how to feel.

Well, to try and provide a different approach here, that's something that probably makes you look like a considerably more mature person in comparison.

I know I'm more mature than he is. He always goes "only losers and kids play games. You're not normal." Which I'm not. But at least I don't do drugs.

 

[Barbas]

I know I'm more mature than he is. He always goes "only losers and kids play games. You're not normal." Which I'm not. But at least I don't do drugs.

True. No matter the adversity, you're always going to have better control over what you can do about it when you're not out of your wits on some substance or another.

 

[UfokinDingus]

please dont do it homie i beg of you, I know where you are coming from.

I have been dealing with depression and contemplated ending it all over the last 5 years or so, its not a cheery place to live in. What I have learned helps is to always find the silver lining in any situation- it may be hard to search for it but trust me it is always there in some way,shape, or form. I have made a habit of writing 3 good things that have happened to me every day and I put it into a jar so that when I feel down i can go through the jar and read what I feel thankful for. You may not think anyone cares about you but I guarantee they do- even if you dont see it right this second.


I suggest taking a step back from things, take some time off and use it as "me time". get back to doing what you love most, and take some time to figure out your next step man.


PM ME IF YOU WANT TO TALK

 

[Fox12]

Well my brother got arrested for possession with intent to sell.

Dunno how to feel.

Well, to try and provide a different approach here, that's something that probably makes you look like a considerably more mature person in comparison.

I know I'm more mature than he is. He always goes "only losers and kids play games. You're not normal." Which I'm not. But at least I don't do drugs.

Hey man, I get it. Sometimes life doesn't make sense. Sometimes life just hurts. I've thought about it too. I've dealt with depression before. But, sometimes, you just have to hang on. I've been in... a pretty bad place before. But I've also tasted happiness. It is possible for things to get much better. I would recommend talking to someone, anyone. Get in shape and work out. This isn't just about weight, it's also about psychology. It releases endorphin's into you brain. You'll feel happier. Your confidence will increase. People will notice you more. Both men and women. I know, because I've done it. It's really hard, but it's worth it. The change was slow, but noticeable. I didn't know how to deal with it at first. I was used to being an outcast.

This isn't easy, and I can't promise that life will be peaches and rainbows, but aren't you worth fighting for? People would notice if you were gone, even on here. PM if you want.