I'm lonely and need some help

[Faulty Turmoil]

As the title says, I'm feeling pretty lonely. Not just now but all of the time. I've got a very healthy amount of friends and everyone likes me, and I like them, but I've never had a proper relationship with a girl before.

I've had girlfriends before but they've never been long term or especially meaningful. I haven't had many though and the reason for that is because I have some odd quirks. There's a reason that the relationships don't last long. The girls I've been with didn't really share my interests.

I suppose I should tell you about the "quirks" then. As you can fairly confidently guess, I like gaming. In fact I plan to make them as my job one day. So it's really important to me that any girl I get with would enjoy it as well, or at least accept and encourage me about it. Pretty standard so far right? I shouldn't be having any problems. Well, that leads me onto the other thing that I like, which is very intimate and the reason my relationships don't last long.

I also very much like BDSM. You see, every girl I've been with I have told them about this. The reason being that I can't really get off vanilla, otherwise I find it difficult. Now whenever I tell them I've always gotten a very positive response, which I didn't expect. So I feel pretty good at that point. However, shortly after, either a few days or weeks, I get dumped. Now they always try to let me down gently, which I do appreciate, and they list a number of reasons why they can't be with me anymore. But, my fetish is always one of them and I can't stop thinking that that is the main reason for leaving me. They're not mean to me and we remain friends afterwards and I have no ill will towards any of them whatsoever. After all, if they're not comfortable with it then it is absolutely their right to break up. I completely understand that. Unfortunately, this leaves me pretty lonely and I find myself often worrying if I'll ever find a girl for me.

I guess I've rambled on long enough. Sorry if I've bored you, but I've never expressed any of this to anyone before.

So the entire reason for this thread is that, even though I keep having doubt's, I'm not going to stop looking until I find her. This is where you come in. If you think you can help me out, I'd like some kind of direction as to where I could find this person. It could be anything from a real place to a website, anything that can help this lonely fool to find that special someone. I would greatly appreciate it.

If you've read all this then I'm grateful to you and hope you too find whatever you're looking for.

Merry Christmas

 

[Cryo84R]

Don't give up, but don't let someone else or the lack thereof weigh too heavily on you. It's safe to say since you're here that you are not 80, and thus have plenty of time left on life. I know there are lots of BDSM communities out there, it may be a good idea to join one, even if it's just to socialize. Who knows, maybe someone will introduce you to a friend.

Hang in there, the best part about life is not knowing what's coming up next.

 

[DisasterSoiree]

There's no point in letting a desire for women dominate your life. They're not that useful. I've had - Jesus, I have no idea how many girlfriends and/or sex partners I've had in my life. Virtually all of them were either frivolous swings without emotional attachment or turned sour. Relationships are fine and wonderful things - if you have the patience to deal with them.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to separate your internal insecurities and instability from your outside appearance. To all the world you ought to look as self-confident as possible, even if that's not an accurate reflection of what you feel on the inside. And you'll gain that confidence by feeling less of a need to latch onto a female. Women are the best, surest way to destroy your ego. Ninety percent of them have made that their mission in life, consciously or not. Schopenhauer said of women that they "in their hearts think that men are intended to earn money so that they may spend it, if possible during their husband?s lifetime, but at any rate after his death". And Schopenhauer was absolutely right.

That's not a fashionable opinion, or an egalitarian one. But it's an accurate opinion. Woman is superficial where man is deep. And man makes the mistake of thinking he can pull woman into the pool with him.

As for your sexual proclivities, www.fetlife.com is a dating/hook-up site intended specifically for those who favour bondage and submission. And when you get there and find someone you've an emotional connection towards, don't make the mistake I've made so many times in my life: in keeping with the thematics of the site, make yourself the master, not the servant.

For all your kinky needs:

https://fetlife.com/

 

[Faulty Turmoil]

Don't give up, but don't let someone else or the lack thereof weigh too heavily on you. It's safe to say since you're here that you are not 80, and thus have plenty of time left on life. I know there are lots of BDSM communities out there, it may be a good idea to join one, even if it's just to socialize. Who knows, maybe someone will introduce you to a friend.

Hang in there, the best part about life is not knowing what's coming up next.

Thank you for the reassurance. It's always helpful to hear kind words when I'm feeling down. And I'll definitely have a look around.

There's no point in letting a desire for women dominate your life. They're not that useful. I've had - Jesus, I have no idea how many girlfriends and/or sex partners I've had in my life. Virtually all of them were either frivolous swings without emotional attachment or turned sour. Relationships are fine and wonderful things - if you have the patience to deal with them.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to separate your internal insecurities and instability from your outside appearance. To all the world you ought to look as self-confident as possible, even if that's not an accurate reflection of what you feel on the inside. And you'll gain that confidence by feeling less of a need to latch onto a female. Women are the best, surest way to destroy your ego. Ninety percent of them have made that their mission in life, consciously or not. Schopenhauer said of women that they "in their hearts think that men are intended to earn money so that they may spend it, if possible during their husband?s lifetime, but at any rate after his death". And Schopenhauer was absolutely right.

That's not a fashionable opinion, or an egalitarian one. But it's an accurate opinion. Woman is superficial where man is deep. And man makes the mistake of thinking he can pull woman into the pool with him.

As for your sexual proclivities, www.fetlife.com is a dating/hook-up site intended specifically for those who favour bondage and submission. And when you get there and find someone you've an emotional connection towards, don't make the mistake I've made so many times in my life: in keeping with the thematics of the site, make yourself the master, not the servant.

For all your kinky needs:

https://fetlife.com/

Thanks for the link. I'll check it out. While I don't agree with you about all women being shallow, I do realize that people, both male and female, will try to manipulate me into getting what they want. So thanks for the advice, I'll make sure to be careful. I'll also make sure not to let my desires take over and potentially ruin significant parts of my life.