I'm starting to think I'm not a "nerd" "gamer" or whatever.

[Vault101]

So lately I've been looking at stuff that is commonplace in nerd or gamer culture and... it makes me think I really don't belong.

I think your over thinking it a bit...don't worry too much about labels

there a lot of things I'm not really into...like the whole Marvel movie thing, I mean I might go see Guardians but DAMN do I have to really force myself to have any enthusiasm...I think its the "male dominated" thing...I just can't care anymore

Good for you.

Because if there's one thing I've learned about the "nerd"/"gaming" community over the past two years, it's that they're the last group of people I'd want to actively be associated with.
.

I know I've definitely felt like that at times....but again we shouldn't put people in boxes and write them off...unless they're jerks

 

[K-lusive]

Familar story, OP. Being lost in a familiar world (albeit for different reasons).

One thing I have noticed though; When you become a part of something (a label) you lose your individuality over all subjects your label entails. Call yourself a gamer and people will apply all stereotypes they associate with gamers on you.

They'll assume you share the opinios of 'gamers' whose opinions they may have read, think you'll shoot up a school because of counter strike.. That sort of stuff.

The best thing you can be is either 'a bit of everything' or 'just yourself' as cliche as it sounds. Represent yourself, not 'nerds' or 'gamers'.
Be the founder of your own clique of people, who avoid GoT and play JRPG's despite people not liking JRPG's and declaring it a no no.

 

[Guffe]

Nerd and Gamer are two very vast descriptions of something.
If you'd be able to do everything a nerd or gamer does, I don't know how you'd be doing anything else during the day. there are very many ways you can enjoy your nerdity and gamerism (I doubt those two words even excist -.-)
Just enjoy the things you enjoy and call yourself what you want. No single thign defines those two.

 

[shrekfan246]

I know I've definitely felt like that at times....but again we shouldn't put people in boxes and write them off...unless they're jerks

I mean, I'm not writing off the entire gaming community, despite what it may look like.

Otherwise, I probably wouldn't be on this website at this very moment.

But it's a problem of the internet age that the people who are the most outspoken tend to be the ones I don't want to hear. And every single time a new nontroversy blows up (which is pretty constant these days) all of those people start coming out of the wordwork to collectively shout as loud as they can and further drive away the few people left that I actually found interesting.

 

[BeerTent]

Labels like these can only really be assigned to you, by you.

If it makes you feel better, I rapidly grew tired of Dr.Who. My brother would kill me, but I feel that the show has no lasting appeal. I hate the Star Trek IP, and Star Wars is a plot-hole filled over hyped tripe. I'm so awful at tabletop games that I've gone to making my own so I can understand the rules. When I play Tabletops, I can't enjoy myself unless vodka's involved. I've also just taken to online, just so I can do the roleplay aspect of it. Sometimes things go to a more, adult nature... >///>

I hate superheros, see Star Wars on that one. Most comics are meh, but there's one or two [http://threepanelsoul.com/] I enjoy, and when it comes to games, You just gotta find the right community. Gamers are a frustrating beast at times. But they dehumanize themselves by being bigots. So I take joy in frustrating them further.

Games are best when you're part of a community. Talk to co-workers, play a few public people and make friends with the good ones. Steam is great for this. If you like someone, you can just click on their name. Boom, Friend. A Mr. Huma found me quite hilarious, now we're buddies. So now I can see that he hasn't been online in 5 hours.

But the rootkit I installed on his computer through steam says he's not in bed. He's just exercising. Yessss... Get nice and tired my friend. You'll be needing a nap soon. And I will be there when you wake up. We'll be together. Forever. and ever![footnote]It's a joke people. I can't install a rootkit through steam![/footnote]

 

[Skratt]

Just find a game you like. Or, go outside for a while. Fuck what other people like or don't like.

I'm still playing shit from like 3 years ago. It's not that I have an opinion about any new releases, it's just that I want to play some older stuff right now. I hated minecraft when it first came out. Finally got around to playing it, and found myself addicted to hardcore more - which I don't remember being there originally. Now, I can't stop playing it.

I'll get bored eventually and move on to something else, but games are about fun. JRPGs, Comics, Doctor Who, and many other popular nerd stuffs bore me to death, always have and always will. I like painting minis, first person shooters and crap pulp science fiction novels and movies. Each to their own.

Seriously though, if you can't find a game you like, you might just be burnt out. Go take a walk, do some yoga, ride a bike or something, get a dog, or get a new job - new people mean new interesting things. Come back later and you'll probably find something that interests you.

 

[happyninja42]

So lately I've been looking at stuff that is commonplace in nerd or gamer culture and... it makes me think I really don't belong.

Shuuuun! Shuuuuuuun! Shun the non-believer!! jk

I can't watch Doctor Who. The archive binge kinda turns me away from it. It does look ok.

It took me a while to get into it as well, and I still don't watch it over and over. If you are curious about it, but simply intimidated by the episode log, just watch an episode or two every few days. Or hell, one a week, like the show releases them. xD Or don't watch it at all, that's fine too. There isn't a checklist of achievements you have to unlock to reach Nerd Status.

Only read a few comics, pretty much a few Batmans and Watchmen.

I haven't read any comics since the JMS run of Rising Stars and Midnight Nation, which was......damn, 15+ years ago. Hell I never really read comics, even when I worked in a comic shop.

I've seen a few episodes of Star Trek, wasn't bad but I pretty much know each episode just from seconhand knowlege over the years.

Eh, Star Trek or Star Wars are very subjective. Some people like both, some are very much entrenched in one camp or the other. Don't sweat it. Besides, the franchise has been shit after Deep Space 9 anyway, so not watching stuff like Voyager and Enterprise are good things in your favor!

Game of Thrones bored me to tears. Same with LotR(not the books, I hear some people say the pacing in the books are better).

Again, different strokes for different folks. If you don't like it, don't watch it. Though I rabidly disagree that the books have better pacing than the movies. Dear god those things are slow slogs, especially whenever Hobbiton is involved. Fuck starting the books in Hobbiton all the time, takes them forever to leave the place. Page after page after page of having "rustic, rural idilic quaintness" shoved down my throat. "I GET IT ALREADY TOLKIEN! THE HOBBITS HAVE A GOOD LIFE!! GET ON WITH IT!!" *Monty Python Chorus* "YES! GET ON WITH IT!!"

Gaming isn't any better. I apparently suck at tabletop games like DnD and MtG. To the point that I'm trying to find fay ways to play these games by myself.

Dude/Dudette/Dude-like Person. There are SOOO many tabletop games out there that are nothing like DnD or MtG. Seriously, those are terrible examples of gaming if those are the only two you've ever played. Go find some others, some of the games are really great and really fun.

Online games are filled with nothing but manchildren who wanted me dead for not playing how they wanted me to play. I do anjoy JRPG's but that's pretty much a no no nowadays.

Can't argue with your opinion of online gaming, I don't do it myself, partly for the reason you mentioned. Also because they bore me these days with their repetition. And I don't think people scoff JRPG's because they're JRPG's, but mainly because they've had a long run of fairly poor quality ones? *shrugs* I don't play JRPG's myself, so this is just an observation I've made based on reactions I've seen. But still, who cares what we think? If you like em, play em.

I don't know, I just feel lost in familiar territory. Like I feel like I might belong but I really don't belong in the end

Oh trust me, whatever thing you are into, there is a group out there as rabidly into it as you, if not more. Whatever...it...is. *dramatic music*

Seriously, there isn't a checklist you have to complete to be in the club, like what you like, dislike what you dislike, and to hell with what other's think. Find the cluster of fans of the same things you are, and have fun geeking out with them about whatever that thing is.

 

[small]

live for yourself not for a label.
you dont have to like or love things others do, especially not to fit into a label.

 

[SerithVC]

So lately I've been looking at stuff that is commonplace in nerd or gamer culture and... it makes me think I really don't belong.

I can't watch Doctor Who. The archive binge kinda turns me away from it. It does look ok. Only read a few comics, pretty much a few Batmans and Watchmen. I've seen a few episodes of Star Trek, wasn't bad but I pretty much know each episode just from seconhand knowlege over the years. Game of Thrones bored me to tears. Same with LotR(not the books, I hear some people say the pacing in the books are better).

Gaming isn't any better. I apparently suck at tabletop games like DnD and MtG. To the point that I'm trying to find fay ways to play these games by myself. Online games are filled with nothing but manchildren who wanted me dead for not playing how they wanted me to play. I do anjoy JRPG's but that's pretty much a no no nowadays.

I don't know, I just feel lost in familiar territory. Like I feel like I might belong but I really don't belong in the end

Just because your not the stereotypical gamer/nerd/geek/whatever doesn't mean your not one. I don't really like Doctor Who, i don't like Star Trek. I'm only really watching Game of Thrones now, for the same reason i'm keeping up with the Naruto and Bleach manga, because i've started it and just want to see it end. As for D&D, it really depends on your gaming group as to how much you will enjoy it and most groups tend to just kind of shit on the new guy from my experience (had it happen to me twice even though i was rather experienced by that point). As for Magic the Gathering, i cannot recommend it because every so often they just ban entire sets of cards and the MtG community is incredibly elitist. MMO games are a problem for me because i get sick of it being a WoW clone, or sick of the community being a bunch of pricks, or get pissed off at all the ooc bullshit on the RP servers, or get tired of playing a social game (yes i consider MMO games to be social games since it's meant for people to interact with each other) on my own because i hate being told you have to play this specific way even though your better at your character in a different way. An example of that would be my healer from TERA where someone told me i shouldn't fight the enemies and just focus on healing them, to which i responded by killing the creature and challenging them to a duel and just mopped the floor with the supposed best PVP class and then laughed at them as i walked away. My point is really that if you want to play MMOs or D&D you need to find a group of friends who are willing to play it.

As for your final line about how you "feel lost in familiar territory. Like I feel like I might belong but I really don't belong in the end." I understand that feeling very well. I've personally never really felt like i've belonged in any of my groups of friends and for the most part i still don't. I've never really felt like i've belonged to any classification of people either (Jock, Nerd, Geek, Gamer, Goth, etc, etc) except maybe loner, but i find it hard to except that either since i am actually very social and like having people around me. What your dealing with is the human condition of wanting to belong to something so much that you don't see how well you actually belong to it.

I'm going to end this here since my train of thought is going in too many directions right now and i could end up rambling for ever.

 

[Queen Michael]

Well, comrade RaikuFA, what made you think you were one in the first place? "Starting to think I'm not" implies that you used to consider yourself one. What interest led you to this conclusion?

 

[kasperbbs]

Following that logic then neither am i, can't we just enjoy stuff without putting labels on ourselves?

 

[Pink Gregory]

Like the things, hate the people.

That's how I've got along all these years.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Never seen a Dr Who or Game of Thrones episode, don't like comics very much and apparently I'm a console peasant Whatevers rocks your boat man.

 

[GonzoGamer]

With all that said...so? I wouldn't label myself as a nerd. Maybe a gamer, but even then, I say "I play games" more rather than "I am a gamer". I might agree if somebody calls me that but whatever. I am what I am, I don't feel the need to artificially conform to some vague label because I am not a label. Why do you feel the need to make one label define all of you?

It's more like I'm just looking for a place to belong. I've wanted to try to make friends through what I like but as I said before, I feel as if I don't belong with them. They were only into stuff I didn't know jack shit about or they got mad at me when I tried playing an online game with them due to me not playing their way. I've tried with other people that my girlfriend hangs with, but all they wanted to do was go clubbing.

I see where you're coming from. This isn't about labels it's about friends. For me, making friends hasn't always been about having the same interests but more about chemistry and having values that I can appreciate.
If someone makes you laugh, hang out with them, they will make even (especially) the most pretentious club a pleasure. My best friend and I have few similar interests but he makes me laugh and he's the most loyal friend anyone could have.

 

[hermes]

Funny thing about the "nerd" label: It includes a ton of different people (there are history nerds, math nerds, sports nerds, movies nerds, music nerds, etc...), so trying to create a set of tastes and distastes that identifies them is as pointless as trying to create stereotypes for all people living in Southamerica...

So what if you don't like some TV show, some game genre or some class. You are what you feel comfortable being, and if that doesn't accommodate to other people stereotypes, its their prerogative, not yours.

 

[DrDuckman]

So you are not a stereotype. Good for you. Most nerds aren't. And those that are tend to be extremes.

However, I do have to ask, how can one be bad at D & D? It's a role playing game.... there is no actual competition or scoring. If you are bad at it, methinks you are playing with a bad DM. Or are you just bad at telling a story? I am curious.

 

[Stevepinto3]

Good for you.

Because if there's one thing I've learned about the "nerd"/"gaming" community over the past two years, it's that they're the last group of people I'd want to actively be associated with.

Which might make it seem odd that I'm on this website, and indeed much of my free time is spent engaging in "nerdy" things such as films, video games, internet videos, books, anime, or comics, but this is where I make a distinction between the subject matter and its fanbase, because if I know nothing else about the nerd sub-culture who frequent gaming forums, I know that they disproportionately care far too much about the stupidest things (such as a woman's sex life because she was a video game developer and happened to sleep with a games journalist) and they are absolutely incapable of letting go of anything.

Pretty much this.

Further, things like nerd or gamer are just arbitrary labels. They don't matter in any meaningful way. They only exist as a means of a quick reference of "I like medieval fantasy" or "I enjoy video games". Worrying to what degree that applies to you is putting the cart before the horse.

And like Shrekfan said, the general internet "nerd/gamer" community is just downright toxic. There are people that consider themselves gamers that actively hope entire companies or consoles fail. Yeah, to those people, you realize that even if the Xbox One sucks, Microsoft's gaming arm completely crashing would be BAD for the industry as a whole right? Same for Sony/Nintendo/Valve/EA/whoever.

Yeah that kinda went off on a tangent there. Back to point, don't stress about things like labels. Just enjoy what you enjoy.

 

[DrOswald]

So lately I've been looking at stuff that is commonplace in nerd or gamer culture and... it makes me think I really don't belong.

I can't watch Doctor Who. The archive binge kinda turns me away from it. It does look ok. Only read a few comics, pretty much a few Batmans and Watchmen. I've seen a few episodes of Star Trek, wasn't bad but I pretty much know each episode just from seconhand knowlege over the years. Game of Thrones bored me to tears. Same with LotR(not the books, I hear some people say the pacing in the books are better).

Gaming isn't any better. I apparently suck at tabletop games like DnD and MtG. To the point that I'm trying to find fay ways to play these games by myself. Online games are filled with nothing but manchildren who wanted me dead for not playing how they wanted me to play. I do anjoy JRPG's but that's pretty much a no no nowadays.

I don't know, I just feel lost in familiar territory. Like I feel like I might belong but I really don't belong in the end

If you want to belong then you should first focus on what you do like, not what you don't like. SO what do you like? You say you like JRPG's. Do you like them enough to build a bit of a gaming persona around that? What other games do you play? Are you a console gamer or PC gamer or both?

 

[JayRPG]

Wouldn't that make you an otaku rather than a nerd?

Star Wars, WoW, Aion, Power rangers (the westernized version), Wizard of Oz, Marvel (didn't mention that before but I also have a lot of marvel stuff), Harry potter etc don't really have anything to do with Japanese culture or being an Otaku though... Even Dragonball Z is far from considered a traditional Japanese Anime and more of a Western Cartoon.

Don't get me wrong, I do like Anime, and I love the hell out of JRPGs, but there are so many other nerdy things about me that are far removed from being an Otaku. I mean, I played WoW for 7 years, raided 5-6 days a week, was part of a WoW/real life web series and I used to write parodies of songs and sing them to make theme songs for me and my guild mates... I'm a massive fucking nerd.

 

[Vigormortis]

It's fascinating to me that so many people, even on this very website[footnote]The irony of this is palpable.[/footnote], seem intent on labeling other people nerds, simply because those others enjoy something they don't.

Everyone...and I do mean everyone..."nerds out" over something. It doesn't matter if that thing be a video game, a comic, a table-top game, a film, a song, a sporting event, a scientific discovery, a musical, a new shoe line launch, or a new sex position.

Everybody's a nerd over something.

That said:
If you're uncomfortable with a label, then don't use it. Simple. Or, more to the point, don't don't feel as though a label (even a valid one) is something you must inherently be ashamed of nor that said label is the only defining trait you have.

I openly admit to being a nerd about some things. But 'nerd' is NOT my defining trait. At least, not the only one. You shouldn't consider it to be yours either.

but as I said before, I feel as if I don't belong with them.

If you can't really find any kind of common ground with them, and their involvement with you seems entirely predicated on a shared (albeit circumstantial) enjoyment of a single thing, than perhaps you don't belong with them. Or rather, they don't belong in your collective of friends. It's probably best you simply consider them loose associates.

Try finding others with whom you share more interests. Of course, that shouldn't stop you from enjoying the company o...

they got mad at me when I tried playing an online game with them due to me not playing their way.

Oh. Never mind. Those people sound like assholes. You shouldn't feel bad at all for not "fitting in" with them.

All the same, I hope you do find a group with which you do feel welcome.