I'm starting to think I'm not a "nerd" "gamer" or whatever.

[Zakarath]

I think you're seeing these groups as significantly more narrow than they actually are.
If you like to play games tabletop, computer, etc. during your free time, congratulations, you're a gamer.

You don't have to like all of everything 'nerdy' to call yourself a nerd. It basically just means you presumably have at least some field or aspect of culture you care about/are knowledgeable of. (Games, anime, movies, comics, tech, science, sci-fi are probably the main ones, but far from the only)

At any rate, don't worry so much about whether you're a part of some sub-culture. Find things you enjoy and enjoy them.

 

[gargantual]

Hey. You're you man. You're above isms. We all need to be I think, above 'isms'. No human is 'one' thing . Don't let anybody unqualified in this world hold too much authority over your self definition. peace bruh

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

However, I do have to ask, how can one be bad at D & D? It's a role playing game.... there is no actual competition or scoring. If you are bad at it, methinks you are playing with a bad DM. Or are you just bad at telling a story? I am curious.

You very well can be, I've bore witness some people who were just absolutely awful at it. One guy couldn't do anything in the game without having to ask someone else how to do it, and this is after playing semi-regularly for 5 years. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. He didn't know the first thing about how to make a character. Every time he rolled the dice he'd pause, frown, wait a minute and then say "Hey DM. What do I roll for this?". Part of me wanted to shout at him "THE SAME THING YOU ROLLED WHEN YOU DID THIS IN THE LAST ROUND! IT'S WRITTEN RIGHT THERE ON YOUR CHARACTER SHEET". I understand that the rules in D&D can be hard to find and remember, but you'd think that after 5 years of calling himself a D&D expert he could make a character or attack roll without requiring help at every turn.

He struck me as being deliberately obtuse though or having some major attention issues. Every time I tried to explain something to him you could see his eyes glazed over as it went straight over his head and waited for me to do it for him. He didn't even try to learn it, he just wanted someone else to do everything for him.

That being said, I agree with you in spirit. If you can at least have that basic grasp of the rules, who cares if you've optimized your character? It's inherently supposed to be a fun game and the D&D can (and in my opinion should) have a hand in putting the characters on an even playing field.

OT: Like a lot of people here, I'm becoming less and less fond of being identified with the nerd/gamer fandom. There's just too much baggage being built up with it. It's like I need to add a massive caveat to the statement of what this doesn't imply about my opinions on anything sex or gender related.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

It's your own criteria. You already play games and care about them which is the entry level for a gamer and nerd in my book.

I mean, hell, I detest a lot of JRPGs aside from Persona 4 and Dark Souls, and at least 3 games in my top 10 are shooters yet I'd still identify myself as a gamer, etc.

 

[Ten Foot Bunny]

Don't feel bad... I'm sure there are several people on these forums like you, and I'm one of them.

Though I love video games, I can't stand sci-fi, anime, manga, comic books, superheroes, MLP, and a lot of other things popular on this site. I've never participated in, nor do I intend to participate in, tabletop games. I've never been to a con or done cosplay, and I have no interest in doing either.

Hell, when it comes to video games, I don't like JRPGs, games based on tabletop stuff, games rooted heavily in sci-fi (unless it's horror sci-fi), superhero games, and games that look all bright and cutesy like just about everything Nintendo does.

What DO I like? Music, conspiracy theories, real-life autopsy TV shows (and pictures), paranormal and afterlife research, numbers stations, burlesque, fetish clubs, and anything incredibly dark and twisted.

Spoiler: Like this... DO NOT - I repeat, DO NOT - expand this spoiler if you're easily spooked. Consider that my warning.

And this, which is the wallpaper I currently have on my computer:

My interests don't get much traction around here...

 

[someonehairy-ish]

Hang on, people say the LOTR books have better pacing than the films... who?

Spoiler: Seriously...

We're talking about the books that spent about a million pages explaining the family histories of all the Bagginses and Tooks and where they all just randomly stop 5 minutes into the adventure to faff around with fuckin' Tom Bombadil.

You're talking about the same books that pretend to be over, the ring is destroyed, yada yada, and then have Saruman invade the Shire and kick off a whole 'nother adventure before actually ending properly? If you thought The Return Of The King had a drawn out ending, you know nothing, I'm afraid.

I love the LOTR books, but pacing is absolutely not one of Tolkien's strong points.

Anyway, you don't have to like every nerdy thing to be a nerd. Nobody likes every nerdy thing, because nobody has the time to like every nerdy thing. I personally don't read comics or watch anime and I've never been particularly interested in card games ala Magic, but I'm still pretty nerdy for oldschool sci-fi and fantasy and for MOBAs, MMOs, RPGs, not to mention being a massive science geek.

So I consider myself a nerd and a gamer. It's up to you whether you consider yourself the same.

 

[NiPah]

So lately I've been looking at stuff that is commonplace in nerd or gamer culture and... it makes me think I really don't belong.

I can't watch Doctor Who. The archive binge kinda turns me away from it. It does look ok. Only read a few comics, pretty much a few Batmans and Watchmen. I've seen a few episodes of Star Trek, wasn't bad but I pretty much know each episode just from seconhand knowlege over the years. Game of Thrones bored me to tears. Same with LotR(not the books, I hear some people say the pacing in the books are better).

Gaming isn't any better. I apparently suck at tabletop games like DnD and MtG. To the point that I'm trying to find fay ways to play these games by myself. Online games are filled with nothing but manchildren who wanted me dead for not playing how they wanted me to play. I do anjoy JRPG's but that's pretty much a no no nowadays.

I don't know, I just feel lost in familiar territory. Like I feel like I might belong but I really don't belong in the end

Hmm, I don't think that means you're not a nerd, it just means you have taste.
Taste is a personal thing, some people love table top games and comic books (I can't stand the shit), some people like JRPGs and anime, hell some people even like Nascar and Pro Wrestling.
Are you a nerd? You're a 5 year old member on a gaming website with over 2k posts, so I'd argue you fit the general categorization, you just seem to think nerdum follows strict guidelines of interest when in reality it's just a general category.

 

[RaikuFA]

So you are not a stereotype. Good for you. Most nerds aren't. And those that are tend to be extremes.

However, I do have to ask, how can one be bad at D & D? It's a role playing game.... there is no actual competition or scoring. If you are bad at it, methinks you are playing with a bad DM. Or are you just bad at telling a story? I am curious.

The DM I had would have all the enemies attack only me and I couldn't fight back cause I was stuck in the mud when the fight started. Then when we opened our treasure chests, mine was the only one that exploded and killed me.

 

[RaikuFA]

With all that said...so? I wouldn't label myself as a nerd. Maybe a gamer, but even then, I say "I play games" more rather than "I am a gamer". I might agree if somebody calls me that but whatever. I am what I am, I don't feel the need to artificially conform to some vague label because I am not a label. Why do you feel the need to make one label define all of you?

It's more like I'm just looking for a place to belong. I've wanted to try to make friends through what I like but as I said before, I feel as if I don't belong with them. They were only into stuff I didn't know jack shit about or they got mad at me when I tried playing an online game with them due to me not playing their way. I've tried with other people that my girlfriend hangs with, but all they wanted to do was go clubbing.

I see where you're coming from. This isn't about labels it's about friends. For me, making friends hasn't always been about having the same interests but more about chemistry and having values that I can appreciate.
If someone makes you laugh, hang out with them, they will make even (especially) the most pretentious club a pleasure. My best friend and I have few similar interests but he makes me laugh and he's the most loyal friend anyone could have.

I think thats a better way of saying it. Making friends who aren't assholes is impossible for me. I want to socialize but it always backfires on me. I can't find anyone who wants to be around me without treating me like crap.

 

[GonzoGamer]

I think thats a better way of saying it. Making friends who aren't assholes is impossible for me. I want to socialize but it always backfires on me. I can't find anyone who wants to be around me without treating me like crap.

Is it the people you find? How do you meet them?
Is it something you do? Do you act differently or get overly enthusiastic when hanging out with new friends? Almost every gang (do the kids have 'gangs' any more?) or group of friends I've ever had included some guy that everyone would pick on. I'm generally not a virulent or mean person so I held off on that unless said person did something especially boneheaded or prickish. A lot of times I noticed that these individuals tried a little too hard or were nervous around us.
There are a lot of assholes in the world, I'm friends with some of them, but they don't treat ME like crap.

 

[RaikuFA]

I think thats a better way of saying it. Making friends who aren't assholes is impossible for me. I want to socialize but it always backfires on me. I can't find anyone who wants to be around me without treating me like crap.

Is it the people you find? How do you meet them?
Is it something you do? Do you act differently or get overly enthusiastic when hanging out with new friends? Almost every gang (do the kids have 'gangs' any more?) or group of friends I've ever had included some guy that everyone would pick on. I'm generally not a virulent or mean person so I held off on that unless said person did something especially boneheaded or prickish. A lot of times I noticed that these individuals tried a little too hard or were nervous around us.
There are a lot of assholes in the world, I'm friends with some of them, but they don't treat ME like crap.

I just try and be me. I'm quiet and nice and try to make a joke or two if the situation calls for it.

 

[GonzoGamer]

You're not bad at D&D, but you were playing with people who are bad at it. I would sometimes "punish" players (for in game stuff not real life stuff; things like solving a good puzzle I worked on too quickly) when I GMed (I played Palladium, liked the rules better) but I tried to be more subtle about it; like twisting someone's phobias (or sometimes my own) into their story and making it really vivid. People are entertained by that, not "no treasure for you!" That's just a dick DM.

I just try and be me. I'm quiet and nice and try to make a joke or two if the situation calls for it.

Yea, from looking at your other responses, I think you just need to find new friends.
And don't worry about being a nerd or other people you meet being nerds. As you can see it's not exactly a term that can pin one down. I've always been a nerd but that's not the first impression people get from me.... because I guess I work out and don't wear a pocket protector? idk, but some people are surprised to find out I love games.
In our youth, my friends and I were usually referred to as 'freaks' rather than nerds.

Don't feel bad... I'm sure there are several people on these forums like you, and I'm one of them.

Though I love video games, I can't stand sci-fi, anime, manga, comic books, superheroes, MLP, and a lot of other things popular on this site. I've never participated in, nor do I intend to participate in, tabletop games. I've never been to a con or done cosplay, and I have no interest in doing either.

Hell, when it comes to video games, I don't like JRPGs, games based on tabletop stuff, games rooted heavily in sci-fi (unless it's horror sci-fi), superhero games, and games that look all bright and cutesy like just about everything Nintendo does.

What DO I like? Music, conspiracy theories, real-life autopsy TV shows (and pictures), paranormal and afterlife research, numbers stations, burlesque, fetish clubs, and anything incredibly dark and twisted.

Spoiler: Like this... DO NOT - I repeat, DO NOT - expand this spoiler if you're easily spooked. Consider that my warning.

And this, which is the wallpaper I currently have on my computer:

My interests don't get much traction around here...

Lol. This is more the kind of nerd I am: fetishes, conspiracies, and puzzles.

@ Bunny, you sure you don't like anime? Sure most of it sucks but looking at that gif, I'm reminded of Wicked City which I think you'd dig. And if you enjoy that, check out Urotskidoji... to really test your boundaries of comfort. Probably the most dark and twisted thing I've ever seen. I dare you to keep your toes straight.

And thanks for the nightmare fodder there.

 

[Flutterguy]

Well gamer is a blanket term for many, many different things. The otakus, kneckbeards, bros, mmorpergrs, soloists and plenty others. Don't bother joining these or any other cliques, unless you seek acceptance and aren't particularly imaginative.

At the end of the day gaming is a selfish hobby. Don't make it a top priority.

 

[RaikuFA]

You're not bad at D&D, but you were playing with people who are bad at it. I would sometimes "punish" players (for in game stuff not real life stuff; things like solving a good puzzle I worked on too quickly) when I GMed (I played Palladium, liked the rules better) but I tried to be more subtle about it; like twisting someone's phobias (or sometimes my own) into their story and making it really vivid. People are entertained by that, not "no treasure for you!" That's just a dick DM.

I just try and be me. I'm quiet and nice and try to make a joke or two if the situation calls for it.

Yea, from looking at your other responses, I think you just need to find new friends.
And don't worry about being a nerd or other people you meet being nerds. As you can see it's not exactly a term that can pin one down. I've always been a nerd but that's not the first impression people get from me.... because I guess I work out and don't wear a pocket protector? idk, but some people are surprised to find out I love games.
In our youth, my friends and I were usually referred to as 'freaks' rather than nerds.

Don't feel bad... I'm sure there are several people on these forums like you, and I'm one of them.

Though I love video games, I can't stand sci-fi, anime, manga, comic books, superheroes, MLP, and a lot of other things popular on this site. I've never participated in, nor do I intend to participate in, tabletop games. I've never been to a con or done cosplay, and I have no interest in doing either.

Hell, when it comes to video games, I don't like JRPGs, games based on tabletop stuff, games rooted heavily in sci-fi (unless it's horror sci-fi), superhero games, and games that look all bright and cutesy like just about everything Nintendo does.

What DO I like? Music, conspiracy theories, real-life autopsy TV shows (and pictures), paranormal and afterlife research, numbers stations, burlesque, fetish clubs, and anything incredibly dark and twisted.

Spoiler: Like this... DO NOT - I repeat, DO NOT - expand this spoiler if you're easily spooked. Consider that my warning.

And this, which is the wallpaper I currently have on my computer:

My interests don't get much traction around here...

Lol. This is more the kind of nerd I am: fetishes, conspiracies, and puzzles.

@ Bunny, you sure you don't like anime? Sure most of it sucks but looking at that gif, I'm reminded of Wicked City which I think you'd dig. And if you enjoy that, check out Urotskidoji... to really test your boundaries of comfort. Probably the most dark and twisted thing I've ever seen. I dare you to keep your toes straight.

And thanks for the nightmare fodder there.

That's part of the problem. I have trouble making friends. I just get ignored when I try to and the only people I can mingle with are assholes who treat me like shit.

 

[Weaver]

I kind of see how you feel in a sense. I used to think I was a star wars fan, then I went to conventions and figured out I really just liked some movies a bit.

 

[GonzoGamer]

That's part of the problem. I have trouble making friends. I just get ignored when I try to and the only people I can mingle with are assholes who treat me like shit.

Well a lot of the people in the world are assholes, maybe you just need to broaden your stomping grounds. That may be easy for me to say coming from a highly populated area but you need to get out there and network. A lot of people become friends with people who can make them feel better about themselves; this is sometimes done by belittling the other but sometimes its done because the other sees good qualities and is able to bring them out of said person.You need to find people who have good qualities you can see and help reflect to the rest of the world.

 

[Ratty]

If you want to play D&D by yourself try Gamebooks. It's similar, but much easier and more practical. All of the famous "Lone Wolf" series of gamebooks have been put on the internet for free, you could try those out. http://www.projectaon.org/en/Main/Books you can find/buy others online. Here's a good resource for finding ones that might interest you http://www.gamebooks.org/


Secondly dohoho no who ever told you the Lord of the Rings books are better paced than the movie is mistaken. Half the time (especially in the first book) it feels like you're reading a travelogue through a place that doesn't exist. It's been a decade since I read it but I still remember the food they ate was discussed enough that the Hobbits going from loving Elvish Limbas bread to hating it is kind of a gradual process.

 

[ForumSafari]

Gaming isn't any better. I apparently suck at tabletop games like DnD and MtG. To the point that I'm trying to find fay ways to play these games by myself.

http://www.slightlymagic.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=15061&sid=d99a81e69f5a43de7b7d14870b32cd62

Forge is a single player AI controlled and rules-enforced Magic: The Gathering game. I use it for deckbuilding and testing, it is probably the most complete simulation of what playing Magic is actually like. The AI is dumb as all hell but the card selection is nearly complete, it can do unsanctioned formats and it even enforces formats.

 

[Zipa]

Do you play video games?
Do you have fun playing video games of your choosing?
If yes to these then congratulations you are a gamer.

What anyone else does or think in regards to gaming is irrelevant and you shouldn't worry about it.