Impractical weapons in games

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Meatfish

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May 20, 2009
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lately I've been finding time to go back and play some of my old videogames again. Since I have been played a lot of Modern Warfare 2 lately, seeing how the guns are realistic, I've been paying more attention to how impractical and impossible that the weapons in these other games can be. I always knew before, I just started paying more attention recently.

Are these weapons cool, hell yes, but how they would logically work is beyond me.

So what weapons in videogames do you know of that can either never EVER work in real life, or are just plain ridiculous, and why is it that way.

Some weapons that I noticed in this category

Gunblade (Final Fantasy 8)

<img src=http://i36.tinypic.com/de7bc9.jpg>

I've seen a lot of impractical weapons, but this one takes the cake. First off, holding it from a handle like that would never give you good control of either the gun or the sword, and swinging it would put awkward pressure on your wrists. Furthermore, the gun portion seems unbalanced, you would get a lot of recoil from firing it.

Nero's gun: Blue Rose (Devil May Cry)

<img src=http://i37.tinypic.com/15c0ls.png>

a double barreled revolver would never work for two reasons.
1.) it would only have three shots, if a six shooter, yet he can fire it in the game with seemingly infinite shots while never reloading
2.) guns aren't made that way, I don't get how the mechanics of such a gun would work.

Chainsaw gun (Gears of War)

<img src=http://i38.tinypic.com/2rzcayv.jpg>

firstly, real chainsaws are heavy, and not only that but they would not really work well if the target in question is thrashing around, which is what most people would do. Secondly, I'm surprised that neither the gun itself no the chainsaw never gets jammed with guts every time its used. A good chainsaw would probably only be good once maybe twice after cutting through flesh. The gun jams in the game I know, but why don't the blood and guns affect that somehow.

tldr;
So yeah, any other weapons that are cool in games but come into question as to how they would work or how practical they are.

(Disclaimer: I did not write this, the original author is RazorTheAwesome from the Ultimateguitar forums)
 

Kuchinawa212

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Apr 23, 2009
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Chainsaw guns....incase you really got to saw something, while getting shot at

Duel barreled gun. Maybe, gives you more of a spread to hit your target, and has more wounding power then just one shot

But a gunblade, if you had that wayyyy back in the day, and you were in a swordfight duel over something, you'd win all the time.

Also I got one for your list, the Splazer. When would you ever want huge thing when you could get the job done with a lock on missle?
 

irishstormtrooper

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Probably the Splitter in Resistance: Fall of Man. It's an interesting concept, but a gun where you split the bullet into three pieces of varying distances apart is just useless.

Just to clarify, the primary fire is to shoot, and the secondary is to change how far apart the three sections of the bullet are.
 

Joachim Aachen

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Nov 17, 2009
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firstly, real chainsaws are heavy, and not only that but they would not really work well if the target in question is thrashing around, which is what most people would do. Secondly, I'm surprised that neither the gun itself no the chainsaw never gets jammed with guts every time its used. A good chainsaw would probably only be good once maybe twice after cutting through flesh. The gun jams in the game I know, but why don't the blood and guns affect that somehow.
Considering how horribly MUSCULAR and MASCULINE the Gears of War guys are, I'd say the heavy factor doesn't really apply to them. I would assume that the gun's blade might be made of titanium, perhaps designed to be and stay very sharp through multiple cuts. That might also be the reason guts and blood and innards don't get trapped in the gears. Or perhaps the guns are made with a self-cleaning mechanism?

Anyway. The most impractical weapon I can think of is:

The Rail Gun from Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots


Considering the type of game it is and considering the types of situations that you're put in after/once you get the darn thing, it's pretty much useless, as the majority of the game from that point on is about being stealthy. The rail gun is HUGE- not to mention it has to charge to actually do damage. There's about one part in the game near the end that you can actually USE it. Perhaps it's just worth having because it looks big, I don't know.
 

woodsymoments

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im saying the most awesome weapon ever .... the gravity gun from half-life 2 its so impratical yet so amazing
 

Rancid0ffspring

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The cerebral bore. Very cool but lets face it... a brain seeking drill or a bullet between the eyes. Which is more practical?
 

Warmoon

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As improper as crazy and unreasonable but the crowbar is a great fun weapon to use and against the various major spoiler "Zombines" (atleast i didnt quote alxy's entire lie,i almost did) but its a blast and i would try it even in real life.
 

DannyBoy451

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Meatfish said:
a double barreled revolver would never work for two reasons.
1.) it would only have three shots, if a six shooter, yet he can fire it in the game with seemingly infinite shots while never reloading
2.) guns aren't made that way, I don't get how the mechanics of such a gun would work.
Actually, they were used during the 19th century.
EDIT: Another double revolver, I love them so much.

Actually, it looks like this one fired either lead shot or rifle rounds from the second barrel.
 

lasersandbearsohno

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Nov 8, 2009
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the zodiac from ratchet and clank, not only impractical but pretty bad too, wiping all enemies from the screen seems great, until you turn around while its charging.

Also, i'm very surprised noone has mentioned the MIRV yet, incredibly awesome, but impractical, and damn hard to use right or efficiently.
 

Pingieking

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Anything from Ratchet and Clank. They're absolutely hilarious to use though.
About half of all weapons in JRPGs (the gun-sword is my personal favorite).
The rail gun from MGS 4. Almost any hand-held rail gun. There's a reason why that stuff has only been designed for artillery uses.
 

badgersprite

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The Portal gun is so ridiculous that it's genius. You know there's something slightly wrong with a weapon that relies on your enemies never looking up or behind them, and that only works on certain specific surfaces. It's still my favourite video game gun, though, no matter how silly it is.
 

Dapper Ninja

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Kanji from Persona 4 uses a chair to fight demons. This is impractical for several reasons. First of all, it's a chair. Second, read that last sentence again.
 

KaiRai

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DannyBoy451 said:
Meatfish said:
a double barreled revolver would never work for two reasons.
1.) it would only have three shots, if a six shooter, yet he can fire it in the game with seemingly infinite shots while never reloading
2.) guns aren't made that way, I don't get how the mechanics of such a gun would work.
Actually, they were used during the 19th century.
EDIT: Another double revolver, I love them so much.

Actually, it looks like this one fired either lead shot or rifle rounds from the second barrel.
That is fucking amazing!!!

I'd say the 7.62 mm tranq from MGS:pO. Bear with me, it just seems like a round like that fired from a sniper rifle would do a hell of a lot of damage, and shooting someone in the head is more likely to make them a vegetable than put them to sleep.


Also, the HF blade in MGS. You can't block bullets, dammit!
 

tthor

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how has nobody yet mentioned the most infamously impractical weapon of all; the buster blade
http://www.fantasyblades.net/images/products/FF%20400%20WIDE%20BLADE%20L.jpg

this weapon would weigh approximately 80 pounds. and even if the person were a freaking hulk and could weild it with ease, the weapon would still be not much more than a club, considering how very thick the blade is.
 

Meatfish

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I'm impressed with the pictures of real life double barrelled revolvers, they look sick!

Come on people, MORE PICTURES! If you're posting a weapon, put a picture of it :}
 

Dapper Ninja

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tthor said:
how has nobody yet mentioned the most infamously impractical weapon of all; the buster blade
http://www.fantasyblades.net/images/products/FF%20400%20WIDE%20BLADE%20L.jpg

this weapon would weigh approximately 80 pounds. and even if the person were a freaking hulk and could weild it with ease, the weapon would still be not much more than a club, considering how very thick the blade is.
Well, the only people who ever use the Buster Sword are super-soldiers and it was immediately followed in the series by the Gunblade, so it kind of dodged a bullet of nerd rage (kinda).

That reminds me: the Keyblade from Kingdom Hearts. Sora is so lucky that the only things it can actually kill are the game's enemies.