In the basement.

[Mikkel421427]

It's dark. You have no light. It's a large room and there might be monsters down here. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Now that we're done with the prefacing, I really saw a thread here where we discussed what's actually in the Escapist basement. Now, since I don't like speculation and I've done enough lurking around here to know where the door actually is, I went to open it. Then I found out someone had locked it. Then I beat them up with the handle that came off and took the key. Then I tried to unlock the door, found out the lock had rusted and got pissed off. Then I followed the MythBusters' wise words "When in doubt, C4" and blasted the door to smithereens. And after I fell down way too many stairs, I'm now stuck... Without my flashlight and I would like the help of you Escapists to help me determine what the fudge actually is in the basement! So let's get on with it!

*Mikkel421427 takes a step forward. Mikkel421427 has walked right into the slobbering fangs of a lurking grue*

 

[DoPo]

Welp, that's that. We told him, didn't we guys? "Stay away from the basement". We told him so. This should serve as an example to all the new users who think they are "smarter" than the old ones.

 

[FalloutJack]

I thought that's where I left Gazuga...

Did he get out? Did he get away? Now that The Cleansing and The Rinsing are complete, is he off to start The Repeating?

HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY 900-FOOT TALL APE-LIKE ABOMINATION AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE?!

 

[Rawne1980]

I've been here for 2 years nearly and still don't know what's in the basement.

I don't even know where the basement is.

I've been stood at the bar since I got here waiting for a drink but the service is bloody slow ... unless someone had to change the barrel in the basement.

 

[ohnoitsabear]

Okay, now what you need to do is focus on staying alive long enough for the effects of the radiation to set in. Most likely, you will just get serious radiation poisoning and die. However there is a small possibility that it will give you mutations that cause your skin cells to glow, which might give you enough light to find a way out. It's a long shot, but unless anybody has any better ideas, I think it's your only hope.

 

[Doclector]

Strike team delta, come in.

Shut him in. There can be no further outbreaks.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Comic Sans?!

I shouldn't have stored so many POWs in there...

 

[Pinkamena]

*Pinkamena hears rumbling*
*Pinkamenas pet grue comes back with the body of what sorry soul dared to venture into the basement*
*Pinkamena replaces the basement door*

And stay out!

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Comic Sans?!

I shouldn't have stored so many POWs in there...

T̯͉̦͔͔̼̫̥̱͙̼͖̤̮̲͖ͅh̞̮̥͚̥͚̝̗̫̠̫̟͓̖̩̜e͕͕̭͙̗̬̬̰̤ ̘̣̤̳̙̰̭̞͔̲̖̪̘̗̗̗͔̭ͅm̦̟̬͙͔̳̲̭̠̗͎̯͉̻͚̤i̦͇̜̘̣̰̫͓̼̼͚̪͔͈̤̦̜g̮̘̠̼̪̭̝̮̭̟̥̺̻̝̺͇̱h͓͚̳̼̖͈͔̻ț̜̫̮̭̻͚̝̪̼̱͓͔͔̟̱̱y͓͙͕̬͙̼͚͈͙͖̹͉̝͇̞ͅ ̫̟͈̹̞̘͕̮̯̟̦̣͓̲̭͔̥̙ͅD͇͈̬̰a͈̭̦͇̩̜̳̯̥y̦̻͍̤̦͍̟͚̗̝̹̭̞s̺͙̮͈̺͍͖͉ͅͅͅt̫̮̗̪̱a͎̗̗̠̣͓͈͖̮͍̞͈̦r̹̘͍̪̰̲̲̥͉̼̫̯̘͔̩̼.̲̞̼̝̙̹̺̥.͇̥̙̖.͙͈̱̠̼̠̹̭.͖̜͔̼̘͎̟̤͇
͉͍̭̺̰̫̲̞̭̬̰͔͕̙̰ͅ
̺͓̙̭W̘̬̬̮͚͍̣͕̖̰̘̳̖̟̹̳̹͔ͅẹ̳̥ ̳̟̱̜̰͉͔͖̮͓̥͍̯̹͈̯ẉ͍͇̖i̭̺̻̹̹̣̱͎l̜͚͎̩͚l̗̲̘ͅ ̱͍̩̜͚̜̘̪̭̺̪̪͓̦̱̹̠̙e̜͖̝͔͕̮̹̘̗̭̖̟̥̪͈ͅn̩͍̩̤͎̮̱̯̲̝̥͉̫̗̣j̥̗̲̹̙̦̩̟̘̺̠̙̱̜̩̣o̮̩͉̱̯̣̙̙̥̻͓͙̠y͈̤͖̺̭ ̬͈̻̪͓̼̺j̲̼̥̪̬̱̮̯̞̬̫̯̺͈͔͉o͍̱̥̜͎̗̭̦i̭̳̰̞̥̬n̠̮̲̠͍͖̭͓̣̳̲̳͉̥͇̬i̝͎͖̗ͅn̯͍̲̜̩̞̙̣̠̩͍͉̖̪͚̟͖ͅg̱̲͓̝̻̰̘̳̙͓̹̜̲̥͈ ̫̯̲͇̯̠͙̘̞̹̝̣̳̟w̜͙̻͙̲i̙̫͈̥͇̙͉̭̙̘͚͉̬̫̫͈͖͎̝t̝̦̬̦̩̪̘̟͓͍̤͓̣̬̜̯h̘̰͉͖̤̱̠͚͈͍̹͇̪̜̲ͅ ̯̱̻̱̥̯͎̞͖̪̳̹̱̱͖y̻̦͍̮̞̝̹͚̪̤̥̤̱̭̥̦o̙̼̻̲͚̳̠̲̞̖̯͓̠͙ͅu͖͖͔̣̗͇̳̭̮͙ͅ.̻͍͕͉̤͎
͙̖̩̩͖̣͍͈͍̗͍̞̤
̗̝͕̱̫̪͍̗̻̳̪͖̟̬͙͙O͚̮̣̤n̤̮̟̖e̹̞͉̻̭̞̥̳ ̫͉̜̫͕̣͕̮͕̝̼̫̼͓͚̹̭͙̣o̭̜͉̭̞͖̺͈̭̲̝̞̟̥̺͍f̺̪̺̟͔̼ ̲̪̪̻̙̥̯̦͓͍ͅu̥̭̬̼̩̩͍͓̙̬ͅs̤̪͈̪̟̝̥ͅ.͉̟̣̬̭̙ ̣̬̘̺͍O̫̣̮͈̼̦̮̟̬̬͎̠n̳̬͇̻̱ͅe͍̯͉͎̰̹̲̥̥ ͇͈̣̰̩͓̬͔̣̭̙̥̦̙̼̲̹͎o̬̳̯̳̲͈̝̱͔̣͈̦f̘̮̣̭̩̻ ̳̱̻͓̯͍̹̟͔̦u͖̟̭̥̠͈s͍̝̫͕̳͙̦͉̹̙̗͈͇̜̱̲̳.͍̩̬̪͍̣͎̳̲ͅ

 

[SckizoBoy]

Huh... all I thought of when clicking on this thread was replacing the words of the Village People's In the Navy with random lyrics suiting the title of In the Basement... ¬_¬

Anyway, OT: *sharpens fangs*

 

[Iron Criterion]

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before; but the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token...

I'm trapped down here now, don't know how long it's been either. But looking on the bright side, the internet connection down here is better than it was at my home; even if IT is always watching to make sure we aren't plotting to escape its ever consuming maw, and sharp, bloodied claws.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I thought the basement was Kross's thread bin...

I thought Kross was the basement.

The basement isn't so bad. If you keep plenty of meat shields- errr I mean other posters- ahead of you yopu'll be fine and get plenty of loot and delicious fresh meat to feast on

 

[Ishal]

You guys are so strange... lets just be rational about this *opens door to basement*

Why would this one be different than any other basement? *takes few steps down the stairs*

Well it is pretty dark in here, where is the damn light?

Honestly I don't know what your pro--

WHAT IS THAT?!?! PONIES HELP ME!!!!! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

... ... ...

... ...

...

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Did you see this thread?
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.395819-The-Escapist-Basement

I'm just going to quote sky14kemea from that one...

The first rule of the Escapist Basement is we do not ask what is in the Escapist Basement.

And that's why no one will ever tell you the truth. You'll just have to find out for yourself.
Are you really sure you want to know? What you find will forever change you.

 

[Terratina.]

I thought it was the old Warcry forums that were dug up recently and the pit banned users were chucked into. :/

 

[Blunderboy]

The Escapist Basement is the chlorine of the gene pool.

Only those stupid enough to even think about it are consumed, leaving the rest of us better off in the long run.

 

[Shinsei-J]

Did you see this thread?
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.395819-The-Escapist-Basement

I'm just going to quote sky14kemea from that one...

The first rule of the Escapist Basement is we do not ask what is in the Escapist Basement.

And that's why no one will ever tell you the truth. You'll just have to find out for yourself.
Are you really sure you want to know? What you find will forever change you.

...
...
Well being a wise man as I am, I'm going to ignore the rest of this thread and try to drown it out with talk of pie.
So who else here likes pie? Hmm.
Tasty right.

 

[DuelLadyS]

I thought that's where I left Gazuga...

Did he get out? Did he get away? Now that The Cleansing and The Rinsing are complete, is he off to start The Repeating?

HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY 900-FOOT TALL APE-LIKE ABOMINATION AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE?!

You sir, have made my g*****n f****ng DAY. If I didn't have to go to work, I'd be looking for that box of old issues now.

Also, what's this about a basement? I didn't know there was a basement...