Incredibly useless products

[Wolfenbarg]

Salt grinder.

Totally useless. Peper grinder, useful. Peper is a seed that loses its flavor over time. It tastes best when freshly ground. Salt is mined from million year old deposits of dried up lakes. It never goes bad. And don't post anything about sea salt as being fresher or better or whatever. Because it happens to be salty by eroding said million year old deposits (or other rocks) and dissolving it into the water. So sea salt is as old as normal salt.

It's hard to find unbleached salt in a crushed form. When you buy a bag of sea salt, it's typically a bag of rocks. Therefore, the grinder is completely necessary.

It's not really a product, but pennies. Because of inflation over the last few decades, there is nothing you can buy with them, and the metal in them won't have any inherent value unless society as we know it crumbles around us. It should be some kind of trading standard that all prices end in a five or a zero (barring digits that are above cents).

Pennies cost about 1.7 cents in zinc and copper to make. I have bunches in a jar because nobody else bothers to pick up change anymore. Without pennies I wouldn't have an extra $5 lying around. And I dislike the 5 or 0 ending thing for other reasons...

And what reason would that be? How would having prices change from ridiculous numbers like 11.99 or 5.39 to their rounded equivalents make things any worse for more than 90% of Americans?

 

[spectrenihlus]

Powerbalance.
The fact that the Sacremento King's Arco arena is being renamed powerbalance pavilion is just hilarious.
I believe I win the thread.

 

[zfactor]

Salt grinder.

Totally useless. Peper grinder, useful. Peper is a seed that loses its flavor over time. It tastes best when freshly ground. Salt is mined from million year old deposits of dried up lakes. It never goes bad. And don't post anything about sea salt as being fresher or better or whatever. Because it happens to be salty by eroding said million year old deposits (or other rocks) and dissolving it into the water. So sea salt is as old as normal salt.

It's hard to find unbleached salt in a crushed form. When you buy a bag of sea salt, it's typically a bag of rocks. Therefore, the grinder is completely necessary.

It's not really a product, but pennies. Because of inflation over the last few decades, there is nothing you can buy with them, and the metal in them won't have any inherent value unless society as we know it crumbles around us. It should be some kind of trading standard that all prices end in a five or a zero (barring digits that are above cents).

Pennies cost about 1.7 cents in zinc and copper to make. I have bunches in a jar because nobody else bothers to pick up change anymore. Without pennies I wouldn't have an extra $5 lying around. And I dislike the 5 or 0 ending thing for other reasons...

And what reason would that be? How would having prices change from ridiculous numbers like 11.99 or 5.39 to their rounded equivalents make things any worse for more than 90% of Americans?

How would you round it? Would you round the base price (technically changing the base price to a 0 or 5 ending)? Then taxes would still give you obscure totals, but this is fine with me. Round the taxes too? Now you are paying an extra 0-4 cents per purchase. And who would get the extra money anyway? The government? The store? The manufacturer? So now we have to pay a "rounding fee?" What about payrolls? Would those be rounded down or up? So every time you are paid or buy something you pay (on average) 2 cents more.

Besides, it's a marketing thing. You see 1499.99 and the average person rounds up and believes they just outsmarted the system. Or they don't like seeing 0s. If you see $1500.00, the average person thinks "Shit, that's a lot of zeros..." and is less likely to buy it. And the first option is 1 cent cheaper. Which is a bunch of money if you are adding about 2 cents for every purchase you ever made or will make.

And it could result in people getting rid of the 5s too. Why round to the nearest 5 or 0 cents when you can round to the nearest 0? Or we can just abolish cents completely!

EDIT: OK, I just noticed a massive pun in my last statement... LOLZ

 

[Jazoni89]

The Dettol no-touch soap pump.

http://www.dettol.co.uk/no-touch-handwash-system/index.php

It's slogan is "Never touch a germy soap pump again"

Spoiler: Here is why it is useless if you haven't already worked it out.

Soap pumps dispense soap for cleaning hands meaning that moments after touching the pump you will be cleaning your hands of the germs on the pump.

Unless you have some wierd urge to lick your hand as soon as you use the pump then this product is totally useless.

Yeah, i watched a advert for this, and i was like...What the hell! that's useless.

He was me thinking I was being a bit too pedantic when I saw this on TV, glad i'm not the only one who pointed this out.

 

[Wolfenbarg]

Salt grinder.

Totally useless. Peper grinder, useful. Peper is a seed that loses its flavor over time. It tastes best when freshly ground. Salt is mined from million year old deposits of dried up lakes. It never goes bad. And don't post anything about sea salt as being fresher or better or whatever. Because it happens to be salty by eroding said million year old deposits (or other rocks) and dissolving it into the water. So sea salt is as old as normal salt.

It's hard to find unbleached salt in a crushed form. When you buy a bag of sea salt, it's typically a bag of rocks. Therefore, the grinder is completely necessary.

It's not really a product, but pennies. Because of inflation over the last few decades, there is nothing you can buy with them, and the metal in them won't have any inherent value unless society as we know it crumbles around us. It should be some kind of trading standard that all prices end in a five or a zero (barring digits that are above cents).

Pennies cost about 1.7 cents in zinc and copper to make. I have bunches in a jar because nobody else bothers to pick up change anymore. Without pennies I wouldn't have an extra $5 lying around. And I dislike the 5 or 0 ending thing for other reasons...

And what reason would that be? How would having prices change from ridiculous numbers like 11.99 or 5.39 to their rounded equivalents make things any worse for more than 90% of Americans?

How would you round it? Would you round the base price (technically changing the base price to a 0 or 5 ending)? Then taxes would still give you obscure totals, but this is fine with me. Round the taxes too? Now you are paying an extra 0-4 cents per purchase. And who would get the extra money anyway? The government? The store? The manufacturer? So now we have to pay a "rounding fee?" What about payrolls? Would those be rounded down or up? So every time you are paid or buy something you pay (on average) 2 cents more.

Besides, it's a marketing thing. You see 1499.99 and the average person rounds up and believes they just outsmarted the system. Or they don't like seeing 0s. If you see $1500.00, the average person thinks "Shit, that's a lot of zeros..." and is less likely to buy it. And the first option is 1 cent cheaper. Which is a bunch of money if you are adding about 2 cents for every purchase you ever made or will make.

And it could result in people getting rid of the 5s too. Why round to the nearest 5 or 0 cents when you can round to the nearest 0? Or we can just abolish cents completely!

EDIT: OK, I just noticed a massive pun in my last statement... LOLZ

Or they could set values to where the rounded number includes tax? Pennies cost more than their agreed value. How much in treasuries or securities are wasted on the open market minting money that is completely worthless? A few cents isn't going to kill people. I seriously doubt that after the initial shock that governments are going to cackle evilly as they count how much they're raking in because of the abolishment of pennies.

On a random note, if they do so, they should give the dime to Abe Lincoln.

 

[tseroff]

Ive been waiting for a thread like this..
Fucking "I-renew"

This. There is a better video than this one, but this was the only one I could find. Sound logic, though.

 

[KaiRai]

I work in the returns centre at a fairly large chain. I've come across everythign from Ostrich feather dusters, to banana guards, to coffee makers worth £2400. The list of ridiculous things I have seen is too much to remember.

 

[Dags90]

On a random note, if they do so, they should give the dime to Abe Lincoln.

I think Abe deserve a dollar at least.

OH WAIT! Seriously, why does Lincoln get a dollar and a coin?

Pretty much everything in this video:

 

[Daedalus1942]

Let's see.

Pretty much everything located on this web page. The funniest being a chocolate hat for your junk.

http://damncoolpics.blogspot.com/2009/12/25-useless-products.html

I actually think the funniest is the money safe, complete with turd stains down the back... that's just rank.
Also, Binary clock? wow... yes very useless. Are these real items, not just jokes?
-Tabs<3-

 

[Fetzenfisch]

Let's see.

Pretty much everything located on this web page. The funniest being a chocolate hat for your junk.

http://damncoolpics.blogspot.com/2009/12/25-useless-products.html

damn i actually own one of these items, and i totally need a usb-panicbutton

 

[Ldude893]

Utterly useless except on Halloween. What do they use to make these things anyway?


[sub]Captcha: because Raletty[/sub]

 

[JoeCool385]

How about everything on stupid.com [http://stupid.com/], the website devoted to stupid and useless products?

On the front page they offer eyeglasses with turn signals. I rest my case.

 

[The Youth Counselor]

The Dettol no-touch soap pump.

http://www.dettol.co.uk/no-touch-handwash-system/index.php

It's slogan is "Never touch a germy soap pump again"

Spoiler: Here is why it is useless if you haven't already worked it out.

Soap pumps dispense soap for cleaning hands meaning that moments after touching the pump you will be cleaning your hands of the germs on the pump.

Unless you have some wierd urge to lick your hand as soon as you use the pump then this product is totally useless.

Oh god, too many public restrooms now use motion sensing soap dispensers. They are extremely annoying. Their motion detection is almost always off and tend to finally dispense the soap once you pull back to try again. It's a waste of soap.

Touchless water faucets make sense because otherwise you have touch the knobs or levers that you previously touched with unclean hands. (I don't know why hand activated knobs are the most common after foot pedals and motion activation has been around so long.) But with soap dispensers you don't touch the dirty parts again afterwards.

 

[Mr.Numbers]

Try and beat this website. I dare you.

http://www.teslaplates.com/

Headline is:

USE THE ELEMENTARY POWER OF THE UNIVERSE

Genuine SwissTesla Plates and Discs enhance the energy field and vibrational state of living organisms. Tesla Plates energize your food and beverages, help to regenerate from Electromagnetic Pollution and bring harmony to your living space. *

* please read our disclaimer below

They use Kirlian Photography as a reference. Kirlian photography not making this list because despite being BS it's actaully really really cool so, ya know, there's that at least.

EDIT:
For more win read the application section...
http://www.teslaplates.com/application.htm

 

[Altorin]

Try and beat this website. I dare you.

http://www.teslaplates.com/

Headline is:

USE THE ELEMENTARY POWER OF THE UNIVERSE

Genuine SwissTesla Plates and Discs enhance the energy field and vibrational state of living organisms. Tesla Plates energize your food and beverages, help to regenerate from Electromagnetic Pollution and bring harmony to your living space. *

* please read our disclaimer below

They use Kirlian Photography as a reference. Kirlian photography not making this list because despite being BS it's actaully really really cool so, ya know, there's that at least.

EDIT:
For more win read the application section...
http://www.teslaplates.com/application.htm

I am... flabbergasted at the lol contained in that website.

Are they basically just selling purple cutting boards for 100 dollars?

and I'm pretty sure the small credit sized version is just a purple square made in photoshop. AND FOR ONLY 35 BUCKS WHAT A STEAL!

 

[Jester_AKA_M]

That tissue dispenser looks like some exotic (read: horrible) S&M device! Not...ahem...not that I erm. I DON'T SUBSRIBE TO DEVICETORTURE.net! Seriously though, isn't that what packets of tissues--and pockets--are for?

 

[Skorpyo]

Anybody up for buying me 3 meters of audio cable? Only $21,000!

http://www.noiseaddicts.com/2008/11/most-expensive-speaker-cable-world-audioquest-audiophile/

It says that they ?provide considerably better transparency and dynamics? and that the ?Pure Perfect-Surface eliminates harshness and greatly increases clarity?.

God, I love audiophile nonsense.