Insane or romantic?

[holy_secret]

I think this is a great idea to hold on to! Right now, let them come to you, get to know each other more, and then at a later point you can try for something like this. Some people don't do well with surprises, and maybe it's too early to do that just yet. But points for thinking of it!

I'll definitely keep this in mind!

Oh.

I have not thought of that.

Screw this plan! I'll just wait by the bus terminal and catch a taxi home or something.

Thanks y'all <3

Actually, meeting in a low-expectations space like a shared plane ride isn't such a bad idea if this is the first time you're meeting in person.

Romantic liasons over the internet can build a sense of false intimacy that can be nigh impossible to carry over into physical space, resulting in some PAINFULLY awkward first meetings with people you felt like you had a rapport with.

The whole VISIT is special and incredibly romantic, so anything you can do to bleed stress out of that initial contact is probably a Good Thing.

I see your point. I do not want an awkward meeting. I'm playing the scenario out in my head where we see each other, smile and run up against each other, except I do I side-slide, run up to his back and give him a hug from behind.
Hehe, I'm so excited.

Maybe I could meet a compromise. I could meet him up at the airport in Stockholm and then catch the bus back to the city. That's a good hour and 40 minutes of bus riding where we could cool down or something.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

I'd hold off on it for now, but that would be an excellent idea come the second visit. Getting some face to face with him will help you decide if it is alright next time.

 

[Stasisesque]

I really wouldn't do that. For no other reason than, what if your flight out is delayed? What if the first time you see each other is when you find your seat? Is it even a flight where you can pick a seat? London (Gatwick, Heathrow, Luton, City?) to Stockholm, I'd doubt it, and you may end up at opposite ends of the aircraft.

There are so many ways that could go wrong, logistically. Not to mention, while it isn't exactly creepy, it's definitely a high pressure situation - first dates are hard enough without the added awkwardness of one party flying to another country for absolutely no reason other than 'it sounded romantic'. Save the romance for when you know you two will work out.

And being on a plane together and being on Skype together are two very different things. You can't just up and leave a plane, for instance.

 

[holy_secret]

And being on a plane together and being on Skype together are two very different things. You can't just up and leave a plane, for instance.

Why would you want to leave? If we wouldn't be able to handle two hours of flying together, I'm sure as hell we wouldn't be able to spend a week together without someone reporting missing from the police.
As someone stated, the internet and skype can give you a false sense of intimacy, but no matter what we still like each other.

Hell, he likes me enough to travel to me while he's visiting his family for a few weeks, dedicating a week just for me before he travels back to his side of the planet.

Wanting to go away just sounds weird.

 

[Stasisesque]

And being on a plane together and being on Skype together are two very different things. You can't just up and leave a plane, for instance.

Why would you want to leave? If we wouldn't be able to handle two hours of flying together, I'm sure as hell we wouldn't be able to spend a week together without someone reporting missing from the police.
As someone stated, the internet and skype can give you a false sense of intimacy, but no matter what we still like each other.

Hell, he likes me enough to travel to me while he's visiting his family for a few weeks, dedicating a week just for me before he travels back to his side of the planet.

Wanting to go away just sounds weird.

Hang on, he's not coming just to see you? Then I definitely wouldn't fly to London to surprise him - let him come to you. Is he flying out to see his family first? Because then how would you even make this plan work? Sorry, this has just got very confusing.

And yes, you like each other - and that is good, but you would be literally trapped in a small space together for two hours, and this would be the first time you've ever spent time together in person. In any other situation, you can leave if things get weird or it doesn't work out, on a plane you can't. Hell, you can't even change seats most of the time. I'm not trying to suggest one of you will want to duck out on the other, but don't take away that opportunity just in case.

 

[holy_secret]

And being on a plane together and being on Skype together are two very different things. You can't just up and leave a plane, for instance.

Why would you want to leave? If we wouldn't be able to handle two hours of flying together, I'm sure as hell we wouldn't be able to spend a week together without someone reporting missing from the police.
As someone stated, the internet and skype can give you a false sense of intimacy, but no matter what we still like each other.

Hell, he likes me enough to travel to me while he's visiting his family for a few weeks, dedicating a week just for me before he travels back to his side of the planet.

Wanting to go away just sounds weird.

Hang on, he's not coming just to see you? Then I definitely wouldn't fly to London to surprise him - let him come to you. Is he flying out to see his family first? Because then how would you even make this plan work? Sorry, this has just got very confusing.

And yes, you like each other - and that is good, but you would be literally trapped in a small space together for two hours, and this would be the first time you've ever spent time together in person. In any other situation, you can leave if things get weird or it doesn't work out, on a plane you can't. Hell, you can't even change seats most of the time. I'm not trying to suggest one of you will want to duck out on the other, but don't take away that opportunity just in case.

He's from Wales, working in Mexico for now, visiting me in Stockholm. He's going home for a few weeks to visit his family. He asked me if he could come over for a week. I said hell yeah.
How it would work is that he has to take a train, bus, teleportation or whatever to London and from there fly over to Sweden.

Yeah I get what you're saying now. Space is an underrated thing. I definitely hadn't thought of it (like someone else posted and made me realize that I don't want our first hours of having met each other to be spent on a plane) before you all mentioned it.

Also he speaks the queen's English. I was hoping he would sound like the cast of Torchwood :<
What the hell is up with that.

 

[toadking07]

Let us know how it goes!!

 

[the darknees abyss]

its insanely romantic

 

[Substitute Troll]

It's in these types of situations that I would take a step back and think about it logically for a secound. You say it's mutual, which means he's already convinced. He's not going to need extra persuasion. He's coming over to our lovely capital and you're pondering on wether or not you should pay for a completely redundant trip? Honestly, just give that money to a hobo or something, that way it's not completely useless.

I'd say insane, not like "overly attached girlfriend" insane, but more along the lines of just plain fucking illogical.

 

[holy_secret]

It's in these types of situations that I would take a step back and think about it logically for a secound. You say it's mutual, which means he's already convinced. He's not going to need extra persuasion. He's coming over to our lovely capital and you're pondering on wether or not you should pay for a completely redundant trip? Honestly, just give that money to a hobo or something, that way it's not completely useless.

I'd say insane, not like "overly attached girlfriend" insane, but more along the lines of just plain fucking illogical.

Du kommer förstå det när du blir äldre och själv blir kär, lillen <3 *Condecending adult*

 

[Psykoma]

If you were flying there to spend a day or two with him before flying back home with him, I'd say its really sweet.

But flying there just so you could fly back with him? I just get this massive creepy clinging impression.


How do you even know you'd get seats together? Guessing if you're getting the super cheap seats you'll have no say at all on seating, and you'd be doing this for the chance of sitting somewhere in his vicinity on a plane.

This idea just seems super creepy.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Hey y'all.

Don't want to bore you with a wall of text, so I'll keep it short.

I've been talking to guy online. We skype all the time, and seeing him smile makes my heart skip a beat. It's very much mutual (which is AWESOME)
After three months of talking, he's finally coming over to Stockholm to visit me in three weeks.

He's going to travel from London. I know which flight is his and when he arrives.
So here's what I thought. I found some ridiculously cheap tickets to London and back. I was thinking of telling him that I'd meet him up at the airport.
Well, the airport in London, and then travel back to Stockholm together Surprise!


Personally, my heart would melt if someone I like would do something like this for me. But not everyone is me.
So, dear escapist forumites. Is this super romantic, or is it completely insane and slightly creepy?

Thanks

Totally romantic, but that could just be me

 

[holy_secret]

If you were flying there to spend a day or two with him before flying back home with him, I'd say its really sweet.

But flying there just so you could fly back with him? I just get this massive creepy clinging impression.


How do you even know you'd get seats together? Guessing if you're getting the super cheap seats you'll have no say at all on seating, and you'd be doing this for the chance of sitting somewhere in his vicinity on a plane.

This idea just seems super creepy.

I'd be seeing him before we border the plane.
It's not about being in his vicinity, it's about the element of surprise. If I was doing this for myself, I'd be waiting outside his bedroom window every day to get a glimpse of him, but I'm not that crazy fortunately.

 

[Substitute Troll]

It's in these types of situations that I would take a step back and think about it logically for a secound. You say it's mutual, which means he's already convinced. He's not going to need extra persuasion. He's coming over to our lovely capital and you're pondering on wether or not you should pay for a completely redundant trip? Honestly, just give that money to a hobo or something, that way it's not completely useless.

I'd say insane, not like "overly attached girlfriend" insane, but more along the lines of just plain fucking illogical.

Du kommer förstå det när du blir äldre och själv blir kär, lillen <3 *Condecending adult*

You asked the question, I answered it. If you only wanted people to tell you positive things, you should have said so.

 

[lettucethesallad]

Seems a bit... odd? I'd probably be a bit weirded out, especially seeing as it's only like a 3 hour flight or something. Save your money, meet him at the airport and do something special together that's not sitting in a cramped space with screaming babies and terrible food.

 

[holy_secret]

It's in these types of situations that I would take a step back and think about it logically for a secound. You say it's mutual, which means he's already convinced. He's not going to need extra persuasion. He's coming over to our lovely capital and you're pondering on wether or not you should pay for a completely redundant trip? Honestly, just give that money to a hobo or something, that way it's not completely useless.

I'd say insane, not like "overly attached girlfriend" insane, but more along the lines of just plain fucking illogical.

Du kommer förstå det när du blir äldre och själv blir kär, lillen <3 *Condecending adult*

You asked the question, I answered it. If you only wanted people to tell you positive things, you should have said so.

Just because you are unable to comprehend the logic (the fact that I find it to be a romantic thing to do) doesn't make you comment positive or negative. It is just a recognition of you being unable to grasp the idea of it all, or the motivator which sets me, and therefore this plan in motion.
Yours is also the only nonconstructive and rude comment here.

It's taken into consideration though. Thanks <3

 

[Psykoma]

I'd be seeing him before we border the plane.
It's not about being in his vicinity, it's about the element of surprise. If I was doing this for myself, I'd be waiting outside his bedroom window every day to get a glimpse of him, but I'm not that crazy fortunately.

I get that you would meet him before actually boarding the plane.

But my question is about the plane ride. I'm not sure how intra-european flights work, but if they have any sort of assigned seating, then in the *vast* majority of scenarios you will not be sitting with him, and you will have done this just to be in his general vicinity.

Just because you are unable to comprehend the logic (the fact that I find it to be a romantic thing to do) doesn't make you comment positive or negative. It is just a recognition of you being unable to grasp the idea of it all, or the motivator which sets me, and therefore this plan in motion.
Yours is also the only nonconstructive and rude comment here.

It's taken into consideration though. Thanks <3

It's not an issue of not comprehending your logic, or an idea, or not being able to recognize the feeling.
It's recognizing all of that, and recognizing that different people have different standards of when something is way too clingy.

If a boyfriend I was meeting for the first time did this, I would think he was one of the most clingy people possible, and would be really creeped out.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Just because you are unable to comprehend the logic (the fact that I find it to be a romantic thing to do) doesn't make you comment positive or negative. It is just a recognition of you being unable to grasp the idea of it all, or the motivator which sets me, and therefore this plan in motion.
Yours is also the only nonconstructive and rude comment here.

It's taken into consideration though. Thanks <3

It's not an issue of not comprehending your logic, or an idea, or not being able to recognize the feeling.
It's recognizing all of that, and recognizing that different people have different standards of when something is way too clingy.

If a boyfriend I was meeting for the first time did this, I would think he was one of the most clingy people possible, and would be really creeped out.

Except the person she is quoting said they didn't find it clingy, they just found if "fucking illogical" I am the opposite of you, I would love for someone to do that.

 

[holy_secret]

Let us know how it goes!!

Hell yeah!
I decided to shelve the idea for now. I met him up at the bus terminal in Stockholm instead. The meeting was nice. We hugged for what felt like an hour and then went back to my place to sleep for a while. We kissed and we instantly knew what we felt for each other was genuine.

So yeah, we're a couple now So happy

I agree that it could be perceived as clingy. The risk was not worth it, and I know now that he'll enjoy it so there's no harm done. I'll just do it next time

Thanks y'all!!! Always appreciative of your honesty and advises.