Insult Swordfighting!

[000Ronald]

Falling from the sky, The Logician throws a fury of shorukens, decimating everyone in the field (except AlmightyJoe, who's sleeping) who immediately fall to the ground, shocked from his awesome entrance. As he lands and rises to his feet, he porclaims, with resolve and diginity;

"You call this a verbal melee? I've seen imbred swine with more wit then this!"

 

[brazenhead89]

*Brazenhead89 leaps into the fray, gritted teeth and bulging eyes*

"I've seen reservoirs drier than your futile attempts at humour!"

 

[MilitantFurry]

*MilitantFurry leaps into the fray, armed with Eviscerators*

Puny fools! Your insults are mere whore's farts, you syphilitic cumguzzling sons of gonohorric camels! 'Twould be base failure even to spit in your general direction! Come, you sons of monkeys! Your mothers have fallen to my lust; now your blood shall fall to my blades! HAVE AT THEE!

 

[000Ronald]

Without losing step, The Logician draws his katana and spins, decapatating Brazenhead89. As Brazenhead89's body falls to the ground, The Logician utters,

"Didn't I just say that? It really agitates me when people steal my lines."

He then draws another throwing spear and throws it at MilitantFurry, puncturing his heart.

"My mother may be a dirty hooker, but nothing she does is as bad as what you did to your dad the other night; and I have pictures to prove it."

 

[MilitantFurry]

*MilitantFurry pulls the spear from his chest and roars in fury, the hole blazing with eldritch fire as it heals over, the spear exploding in his paw.*

"Hah! You see the truth...wait, my father? Funny, my father is happily dead these many years, as will shortly be any chance of your winning." With this, MilitantFurry grabs a chunk of concrete and sets it aflame, throwing it bodily at The_Logician before leaping atop it, jumping from it to decapitate The_Logician and leaping away, Eviscerator chain reddened, The_Logician's body smashed into the ground by the lump of man-made rock.
"Thy insults are as limp and saggy as thy mother's pussy."

 

[000Ronald]

Holding back the laughing fit, The Logician smashes the rock into pices, leaps up, throws ten shorukens at MilitantFurry, falls to the ground, and slices the man in half. Then, for safe measure, he cuts him into little cubes, all the while saying,

"Eww, he was dead! That's even grosser! And your sword is about as sharp as your wit, which is as sharp as...this is where I would make a penis joke, but, cmon, your dead father? And about my mom's genetalia; she's a hooker, whaddaya expect?"

The Logician then apologizes to all the little pices of Militantfurry for insulting his mother and dead father and cutting him to pieces,

 

[bermyduck]

Bermyduck, whose witty reply was momentarily cut off due to a shruiken in the throat, pulls it free and replies to Swift:

"but my good sir, Gems mother is a llama!"

Deftly ignoring the squabble between a feminine looking logician, and a necro militant, bermy pitches camp and retires for the evening.

 

[000Ronald]

The lightning bolt, although powerful, was no match for The Logician's pure badassatude and awesometicity. It refracted off of his chest and hit bermyduck as he was retiring for the evening, pulverizing him (sorry, guy). The Logician then turns to the spirit of Darth Mobius, and hits him with an ecto-ray. As Darth Mobius writhes in pain, The Logician pulls out his Ghostbuster box and captures the ghost, sealing it forever. He then says,

"I apologized to add further insult to the massive injuries I'd given him, you twit. And because it was funny. And did you die from my mother's herpies? Or was it the Hepatitus B? AIDS? I did say she was a filthy hooker, right? You can't get to me by insulting my mother."

The Logician then apologizes for torturing and imprisoning Darth Mobius, and for f***ing his mother and little sister.

 

[000Ronald]

As The Logician hovers several feet in the air, he says to his adversary,

"Yeah. Wrong Galaxy, motherf***er!"

He then blasts Darth Mobius with a Kamehameha wave, knocking him over. "And it wasn't a boy; wrong genetalia. Might've been your girlfriend though."

The Logician then leaps into the air and plunges the blade Soulcutter through the heart of Darth Mobius. Apparently he has a fettish for piercing people's hearts.

"Sorry I broke your heart. Twice."

The Logician then punches himself in the face for saying something so incredibly stupid, and apologizes to anyone who had to hear/read it.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Thanks for heads up Darth.

*Deploys Sasha the Khornate Weimeramr*

I am not suprised by the Logician's actions. After all, the very appearance of his avatar does suggest he has a liking for 'piercing' other men.

 

[InProgress]

Off-topic: No fair bringing in Chuck Norris! That's like using God Mode!

*Awakening (again) from his faint, he breaks Mobius' twitchy finger, making Chuck Norris dissappear, and shoves it up his rectum while saying:

I hope you can conjure other daemons from your birthplace you semen-encrusted piece of filth from a man-whores unwashed toenails!

*After kicking Mobius in the rear, he catches Almightyjoe by his cape and drags him back:

Where are you man-woman going? Ashamed of being mocked?! I fart in your nose!
and so he does leaving Almighty to faint because of the smell.

 

[000Ronald]

The Logician wakes from his standing doze. "Who just called me a girly-man!?!" he says in a fury. "This is a bust of Soren from Fire Emblem, Path of Radiance; he's more badass than any of you could ever be! Now die!"

Using his super speed, The Logician runs to Fondant, slashes off his arms and legs, and uses upwards of a thousand shorukens to turn his pathetic body into swiss cheese. "At least I have an avatar. Why don't you rename yourself 'Whitespace52?' It would suit you better."

The Logician the apologizes for turning Fondant into bloody swiss cheese, and admits that Soren does, in fact, appear a little feminine.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

You do have a point.....

*Attacks the Logician, breaking his girly Elfin nose with a hammmer-like glaswegian kiss.*

'White space is entirely preferable to your appearance sir, though I specualte the white on your avatar would more in line with stain on the trouser pants, rather than photographic licence.'

 

[000Ronald]

The Logician stumbles back; a blow that finally hit him! He jumps to his feet, though, slightly confused how a quadrapalegic swiss cheese-esque figure can land a blow on him at all.

"Is that it? Did you just break my nose? Pathetic; at least I cut off all your limbs, dude. I may not look like a man, but at least I fight like one."

The Logician then detonates the C4 underneath the varous parts of Fondant, and apologizes for destroying him completely. He then throws a Shoruken at AlmightyJoe, which hits him the shoulder, disabling his left arm: a call to battle.

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

"Perhaps, Logician, you mean 'shuriken' or 'shoryuuken'? Or maybe a 'hadouken'?"

Returning to the fray, I kindly demonstrate the correct way to perform the destructive combat technique.