Interrupting People

[manic_depressive13]

So I was just reading something about how rude and annoying people who interrupt other people are, when I suddenly realised something. I interrupt people. A lot.

However, the people I interrupt tend to fall into two categories: Over-explainers and argument-monoplisers.

An example of the former is when, after I ask a question, the over-explainer answers my question, but then just keeps fucking going. I am ready to move on to the next question, but they want to give five more examples all illustrating the same basic concept, or tell me tangentially related anecdotes. So I end up interrupting because I might forget my next question if I have to stand there for fifteen minutes pretending to give a shit.

The latter is someone who thinks having an argument means giving a speech. When I argue I like to make a concise point, then stop to see how my opponent will respond. Some people will respond by bringing up multiple points which I am apparently supposed to memorise in order to later debunk. In this case, I might interrupt in order to clarify a point instead of holding my breath while they go on a 10 minute spiel based on a premise I don't even agree with. This often leads to accusations that I am an asshole who interrupts others during arguments, even though I already listened to them talk for three minutes, whereas I summed up my own point in less than one.

The most infuriating thing is that, before interrupting, I will use frankly cartoonishly obvious body language to indicate that I want to say something, in order to give them an opportunity to wrap up and let me say my piece. And I just fucking get ignored! But then I'm still the asshole for interrupting, even though they are knowingly and deliberately monopolising the conversation.

So what do you think? Do I just need to be more patient? Do you interrupt people? Do you get interrupted? How do you feel about it?

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

I think there is a time and place for everything, including interrupting. In the right environment, it isn't really interrupting, but instead it is having a conversation. In a group of interrupters who ALL interrupt each other during a discussion, it is just the normal way they communicate. If you have someone present on the other hand who is uncomfortable with that method of conversation, they get overpowered very easily by the interrupters and never get a chance to speak. In that circumstance, the person being interrupted will understandably find that extremely rude. Often it is hard to know they didn't get to speak their mind because they also are usually one not to speak up to express that as well.

Sometimes interrupting is just to be rude and silence conversation and they really are not adding anything beneficial to the discussion, just trying to stifle it, change the subject or exert their dominance over the person speaking, this type of interruption is toxic and really should be condemned.

Sometimes you probably do need to be more patient, mindful of your actions and how they affect others, yes, but also in the right environment it can be a useful skill in group collaboration with people who are on the same page to get things done more quickly, efficiently and better help mesh different peoples ideas together. Interrupting someone expressing an idea to mention something they didn't think of so you can collaborate together on finding a solution and working out the kinks in a project to have things run more smoothly is the type of environment that interrupting can be considered an asset rather than a hindrance.

 

[Albino Boo]

You wont keep a job for long behaving like that. When jobs losses happen its the pains in the backside that get fired first, so its in your long term interest not to annoy everyone that you work with. You have to work out that you are not the most important person in the world and your opinion isn't any more valid than anyone elses. You are going to have spend 30 years in the workplace in the company of people that you wouldn't necessarily do by choice and you are going to have to adapt your behaviour to the expectations of others.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

You wont keep a job for long behaving like that. When jobs losses happen its the pains in the backside that get fired first, so its in your long term interest not to annoy everyone that you work with. You have to work out that you are not the most important person in the world and your opinion isn't any more valid than anyone elses. You are going to have spend 30 years in the workplace in the company of people that you wouldn't necessarily do by choice and you are going to have to adapt your behavior to the expectations of others.

That completely depends on what job he is expected to do. In some fields this is an asset, in others it is a hindrance as I stated above. It is all about the appropriateness of the situation.

Now the cartoonist body language or interrupting to shut them up is inappropriate no matter where it is I would think. People "monopolizing the conversation" is also considered " finishing what they have to say." I think sometimes people need to focus on what it is they are saying rather than trying to shut them up. LOL

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

I'm terrible for it. I don't mean to do it and it's a bad habit that I'm trying to break.

That said, if I think someone is about to ask me for money (unless I'm in the process of making a purchase) I interrupt and say 'I'm going to stop you there for a moment; I'm not going to give you any money', then I just see how the conversation pans out.

As far as debating something goes, I'm prepared to interrupt and just say 'We aren't going to agree on this, there's no point discussing it'. If they want to keep going after that they're on their own. Because I've left the room.

To be fair to myself, sometimes my interruptions are just to show enthusiasm, to agree, or to prevent myself nodding off.

LOL.. You can't be seriously accusing people of asking you for money before they do?! How many had no intention of asking you for money? Do you have people asking you for money so frequently that you have to do this? This is odd.
I just can't imagine myself doing that to someone.. to just accuse them of asking me for money out of nowhere when they haven't done anything. LOL

 

[Albino Boo]

That completely depends on what job he is expected to do. In some fields this is an asset, in others it is a hindrance as I stated above. It is all about the appropriateness of the situation.

Now the cartoonist body language or interrupting to shut them up is inappropriate no matter where it is I would think. People "monopolizing the conversation" is also considered " finishing what they have to say." I think sometimes people need to focus on what it is they are saying rather than trying to shut them up. LOL

Well in my 20 years in the workplace and 10 years of running my own business no one who has behaved like that has lasted long. Hint interrupting your boss does not bode well for your long term job prospects. Fundamentally you are more likely to keep your job if you dont behave like a knob, regardless of where you work.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Fundamentally you are more likely to keep your job if you dont behave like a knob, regardless of where you work.

What about a TV personality? Specifically, reality TV?

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

That completely depends on what job he is expected to do. In some fields this is an asset, in others it is a hindrance as I stated above. It is all about the appropriateness of the situation.

Now the cartoonist body language or interrupting to shut them up is inappropriate no matter where it is I would think. People "monopolizing the conversation" is also considered " finishing what they have to say." I think sometimes people need to focus on what it is they are saying rather than trying to shut them up. LOL

Well in my 20 years in the workplace and 10 years of running my own business no one who has behaved like that has lasted long. Hint interrupting your boss does not bode well for your long term job prospects. Fundamentally you are more likely to keep your job if you dont behave like a knob, regardless of where you work.

In creative environments this is often part of the atmosphere while people are working on a project design, determine possible flaws and things that could go wrong to expect. Design teams do this, engineers do this, inventors do this, scientists do this, it is a means of communication during brainstorming while working with them. However, there is a time and place for everything.

"Regardless of where you work" would not apply.

EDIT: then of course there is Miss Sweetie Poo, whose job IS to interrupt.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

You can't be seriously accusing people of asking you for money before they do?!

I think you can generally tell where a conversation is going before it reaches its destination. I suppose I could carry a tube of superglue everywhere, and as they're yammering on I could glue my wallet shut in front of them. I wouldn't have to interrupt them then.

You need better friends. People do not generally ask me for money. LOL

 

[Lufia Erim]

People are just bad at conversations periode. It's a lost art.

As for interrupting, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. Blurting out words mid sentence is the wrong way. Never do that. The trick to successful interruptions is the timing. If you are in a conversation, always, interrupt at the end of a sentence. If you are having an argument, interrupt at the end of the sentence with the thought you disagree with, and if you are having a debate, never interrupt the person speaking.

 

[Albino Boo]

In creative environments this is often part of the atmosphere while people are working on a project design, determine possible flaws and things that could go wrong to expect. Design teams do this, engineers do this, inventors do this, scientists do this, it is a means of communication during brainstorming while working with them. However, there is a time and place for everything.

"Regardless of where you work" would not apply.

Well one current clients is an advertising agency and guess what interruptions don't happen. My previous 15 years working on major engineering projects very little interruptions took place. When I got my degree in chemical engineering it wasn't everyone talking across each other. There is difference from the TV portrayal of industry and the real world. The only time I witnessed some behaving like a dick was on city trading floor but the guy did make the bank ?20 million a year.

Fundamentally you are more likely to keep your job if you dont behave like a knob, regardless of where you work.

What about a TV personality? Specifically, reality TV?

Fair point, realty shows require being a knob as part the job description.

 

[KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime]

You can't be seriously accusing people of asking you for money before they do?!

I think you can generally tell where a conversation is going before it reaches its destination. I suppose I could carry a tube of superglue everywhere, and as they're yammering on I could glue my wallet shut in front of them. I wouldn't have to interrupt them then.

You need better friends. People do not generally ask me for money. LOL

I live in a gambling town with a disproportionately large homeless population, practically every other person in the downtown area here will ask you for money.

OT: I tend to interrupt people a lot, mostly because people see me as a listener and will go on forever about something, usually making me forget something I desperately wanted, or needed to bring up with them. Unless it's someone whose babbling racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia or other bigotry, in which case I interrupt to tell them: "That's a pretty fucked up way of looking at things, now shut up, because I don't want to hear that bullshit."

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

In creative environments this is often part of the atmosphere while people are working on a project design, determine possible flaws and things that could go wrong to expect. Design teams do this, engineers do this, inventors do this, scientists do this, it is a means of communication during brainstorming while working with them. However, there is a time and place for everything.

"Regardless of where you work" would not apply.

Well one current clients is an advertising agency and guess what interruptions don't happen. My previous 15 years working on major engineering projects very little interruptions took place. When I got my degree in chemical engineering it wasn't everyone talking across each other. There is difference from the TV portrayal of industry and the real world. The only time I witnessed some behaving like a dick was on city trading floor but the guy did make the bank ?20 million a year.

Fundamentally you are more likely to keep your job if you dont behave like a knob, regardless of where you work.

What about a TV personality? Specifically, reality TV?

Fair point, realty shows require being a knob as part the job description.

It just depends on the environment. I have seen some people do it in groups flawlessly without missing a beat, like this is what they do all day long every day with each other, but others are completely uncomfortable with that setting. Different individual businesses do things different ways. Every place is different, so we can't really say that all rules apply everywhere just the same.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

You can't be seriously accusing people of asking you for money before they do?!

I think you can generally tell where a conversation is going before it reaches its destination. I suppose I could carry a tube of superglue everywhere, and as they're yammering on I could glue my wallet shut in front of them. I wouldn't have to interrupt them then.

You need better friends. People do not generally ask me for money. LOL

I live in a gambling town with a disproportionately large homeless population, practically every other person in the downtown area here will ask you for money.

OT: I tend to interrupt people a lot, mostly because people see me as a listener and will go on forever about something, usually making me forget something I desperately wanted, or needed to bring up with them. Unless it's someone whose babbling racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia or other bigotry, in which case I interrupt to tell them: "That's a pretty fucked up way of looking at things, now shut up, because I don't want to hear that bullshit."

That makes more sense, I assumed he was talking about friends rather than just people on the street. I had a salesman once come to my door and start telling racist jokes. Seriously, this guy thought he was going to sell cleaning products by telling racist jokes? I interrupted him with asking him" What the hell is wrong with you?" and a door shutting in his face. LOL

 

[manic_depressive13]

You wont keep a job for long behaving like that. When jobs losses happen its the pains in the backside that get fired first, so its in your long term interest not to annoy everyone that you work with. You have to work out that you are not the most important person in the world and your opinion isn't any more valid than anyone elses. You are going to have spend 30 years in the workplace in the company of people that you wouldn't necessarily do by choice and you are going to have to adapt your behaviour to the expectations of others.

I dunno, are we talking "opinions" like how some people prefer the colour yellow over blue, or "opinions" like when people ignore facts but expect you to treat their position as valid.

 

[Albino Boo]

You wont keep a job for long behaving like that. When jobs losses happen its the pains in the backside that get fired first, so its in your long term interest not to annoy everyone that you work with. You have to work out that you are not the most important person in the world and your opinion isn't any more valid than anyone elses. You are going to have spend 30 years in the workplace in the company of people that you wouldn't necessarily do by choice and you are going to have to adapt your behaviour to the expectations of others.

I dunno, are we talking "opinions" like how some people prefer the colour yellow over blue, or "opinions" like when people ignore facts but expect you to treat their position as valid.

How about I have 20 years working, how many have you had? In the real world there is thing called experience that you gain by doing something over a long period of time. Now you can learn by listening to someone else's experience of spending 20 years in in the workplace or you can find out the hard way, get fired and potentially wreck the rest of your life. It's no skin of my nose if you make yourself unemployable and your boss won't cry themselves to sleep if you get fired either. The problem that you have is that you think you opinion has the same weight as the person that can fire you, when it doesn't. You have two choices, behave in the manner that the person that pays you money finds acceptable or get fired. The choice is yours.

 

[sageoftruth]

One big problem I often see arise from interrupters is them assuming they already know what someone is trying to say, and then being wrong. Happens all the time at my company meetings. These interrupters have created an atmosphere where people feel the need to say everything as quickly as possible or they'll be interrupted. Ironically, this leads to everything taking longer, because everyone's communication skills are running at half-mast while they hurry to get their words out as quickly as possible, leading to people constantly misinterpreting what everyone else intended to say and everyone repeating themselves over and over. It's a chaotic clusterfuck.

This is why I hate going to my meetings.