Introducing your significant other to family

[darlarosa]

So I am wondering how people introduce their family to their significant other. I have never had a true blue relationship worth even mentioning to my family, and currently there is someone who is a prospect...and this popped in my mind

So how does it usually go for you guys? Tips or advice? Funny, wonderful, or horrendous stories?

 

[Rose and Thorn]

You could just...you know...not do it?

In my personal experience nothing good comes from it, you know...the Sister that hates your guts for no reason, the psychotic Father that thinks you're a home wrecker and contantly plots to end the relationship, the sweet Grandmother that is OVERLY protective, the Mother that literally lost her marbles long ago after some divorce, the Aunt that...well the Aunt wasn't so bad.

If I ever have to meet another family again, I am gonna do the whole in 'n out routine. "Hello, nice to meet you all, I only have the best intentions with your daughter/son, but look at the time, I really must be off...yes that casserole does look tasty...sure I'll take some for the road if you insist. Oh yes I will be back to do this all again next year don't worry!"

In 'n out.

 

[Tanis]

Depends on how your family feels about who you're dating.

My family is largely pretty bigoted so dating outside my skin color and their religion is a HUGE issue.

 

[an annoyed writer]

You could just...you know...not do it?

In my personal experience nothing good comes from it, you know...the Sister that hates your guts for no reason, the psychotic Father that thinks you're a home wrecker and contantly plots to end the relationship, the sweet Grandmother that is OVERLY protective, the Mother that literally lost her marbles long ago after some divorce, the Aunt that...well the Aunt wasn't so bad.

If I ever have to meet another family again, I am gonna do the whole in 'n out routine. "Hello, nice to meet you all, I only have the best intentions with your daughter/son, but look at the time, I really must be off...yes that casserole does look tasty...sure I'll take some for the road if you insist. Oh yes I will be back to do this all again next year don't worry!"

In 'n out.

Yeah, this is pretty much standard operating procedure for anyone with a... non-traditional relationship, especially when both people's families are insane. Had such a situation with my first girlfriend, who was born into a really hickish family. She was awesome. Her family? Not so much.

 

[StriderShinryu]

Seeing as how it's usually seen as a fairly big step, I'd say it's safest to be sure the relationship is going somewhere before you do it. Or, at the least, be ready for others to see it in that light. That doesn't mean rings must have been exchanged or anything specifically but, regardless of how you and your partner (or even the family they're actually meeting) may feel about the meeting, there's going to be some people who see it as a huge indicator of things to come.

Second, get any issues out before the meeting. If there are specific things you want to get out in the open about those involved either to your partner or to your family, it's best to do it first. From major issues to small quirks, it's better to have advance knowledge of them than to have them be a surprise.

Finally, try not to make a big deal out of the occasion. It's already going to be ackward enough for everyone involved, not just you and your partner, so don't pile on added pressure by doing things like making exclusive reservations at a swanky restaurant. Just get together for lunch or a casual dinner and go in having at least tentative plans for you and your partner to go somewhere else after if things start getting too strange.

 

[VeryOddGamer]

The mother hated my guts, probably because she is VERY religious and when I was introduced, she put holy water on me (she has a fountain of it in her hallway) and I grabbed my fave screaming "IT BURNS" My cousin (who was present with us at the time) and my girlfriend laughed, the mom was...not amused.

HOLY WATER? Who the hell pours holy water on people they meet?

OT: Can't really say anything, I've never been in a romantic relationship.

 

[The_Echo]

I've always just said, "Dad, this is So-and-so." and then my dad says "oh, nice to meet you" and goes back to doing whatever he's doing.

That's how I've always been introduced, too. There was never a thing like, "so, today you're meeting my parents." It was always a chance meeting. The last girlfriend I had, her mother only had a two-second conversation with me ("Is What's-her-face here?" "Yeah, lemme go get her.") and apparently that was enough to form the opinion that she didn't care for me.

I'm an incredibly casual guy, so making a big deal out of meeting the family is just sort of... unnecessary stress, I think.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

The mother hated my guts, probably because she is VERY religious and when I was introduced, she put holy water on me (she has a fountain of it in her hallway) and I grabbed my fave screaming "IT BURNS" My cousin (who was present with us at the time) and my girlfriend laughed, the mom was...not amused.

HOLY WATER? Who the hell pours holy water on people they meet?

OT: Can't really say anything, I've never been in a romantic relationship.

Utah dwellers.

I've done it a few times with some girls I dated while younger. Didn't really turn into a thing. It was just a quick "nice to meet you, I'm [X]. We'll be going now."

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

I only really see my family at Christmas, so it's usually a case of "oh yeah, and I'm bringing *insert name* too".

As a general rule, in fact a a concrete rule, none of my girlfriends have ever had much to do with their families either and I've only ever met one family and they loved me because next to their daughter I looked like a fucking saint.

 

[VeryOddGamer]

The mother hated my guts, probably because she is VERY religious and when I was introduced, she put holy water on me (she has a fountain of it in her hallway) and I grabbed my fave screaming "IT BURNS" My cousin (who was present with us at the time) and my girlfriend laughed, the mom was...not amused.

HOLY WATER? Who the hell pours holy water on people they meet?

People with holy water fountains I guess? I just rolled with it (before the screaming "IT BURNS" part)

Wait, holy water fountains? I thought that holy water was considered holy because it's blessed by priests or something, but holy water fountains?

Extremely religious people are weird.

 

[Scarim Coral]

While I haven't got a girlfriend yet but my brother does. He introduce her to us by having lunch in a resturant together which well well overall.
Granted he isn't with her anymore (they broke up years ago) but he's in a new relationship althought this time he got the idea of inviting her to stay in my parent house (where I also lived) for a few days when he's over. I can easily imagine it will be awkward as hell, well for me that is.

 

[SonicWaffle]

So how does it usually go for you guys? Tips or advice? Funny, wonderful, or horrendous stories?

I don't think I'll ever be doing it again. My family hated my last couple of girlfriends.

Then again, they were crazy bitches, so it was hardly unjustified...

 

[Quaxar]

Do it in the form of a Cluedo game. You know, smuggle her head in with the suspects and then ask "Is the suspect in a relationship with me?"
When they say "um... no", you remove her picture. That should give them a good clue.

All of life's problems can in the end be solved with a board game.

 

[Fuzzed]

Depends what the situation is...Are you a dude bringing a lady home or is it the other way around? Or this could be a same-sex thing (In that case I have no advice). If you're a dude bringing a lady home then it should be a piece of cake. The dude's parents usually always like the chick. But if you're a chick bringing a dude over, your father is probably going to be looking to see if he's husband material.

EDIT

On second glance of the first post, pretty sure the situation is: Dude bringing home a chick. Easiest job in the world.

 

[Angie7F]

My parents were pretty laid back with who I date, so I usually brought guys over as a part of the screening process.
If they are someone that can just come over and hang out, then they usually have nothing to hide.

Now that my dad has passed away, my mom is the one bringing back her boyfriend to introduce to the family.
Our tactic was to go our for dinner, not eat at home. Go dutch on the bill. Have neutral topics and tales to talk about.

I dont know how it is in other families, but for me, the sooner the better.
But I dont have siblings and crazy relatives or any religion or racist thinking in the family...

 

[The Funslinger]

My family already knew my ex-girlfriend before we started dating, so it wasn't awkward in any way.

My ex-girlfriends mother and father? The mother hated my guts, probably because she is VERY religious and when I was introduced, she put holy water on me (she has a fountain of it in her hallway) and I grabbed my face screaming "IT BURNS" My cousin (who was present with us at the time) and my girlfriend laughed, the mom was...not amused.

The dad, who is also heavily religious, was not there when that...scene occurred, but he was alright, he didn't approve of his daughter dating, but knew it was something teens do, he didn't like how I was an atheist but ultimately respected my right to not believe in god, so he tolerated me and was an okay chap, he did tell me that if I ever slept with his daughter before marriage, he would end me and I believed him, he was an intimidating dude as well. Me and my ex did have sex and I don't think he ever knew about it, considering I am not 6 feet under right now.

A friend of mine had a relationship like that. Only when he went to meet her religious family, the girl got pulled into another room by her parents for a private discussion. She comes back out, quite flustered, and the dad goes (right in front of my friend) 'THIS MAN IS THE DEVIL, AND HE WILL LEAD YOU ASTRAY!'

He was just like, 'right, fuck this. I'm out. Nice seeing you.'

OT: Only one girl I've had any kind of romantic/sexual relationship with has met the clan. I was more nervous than I should've been. They really liked her, which I expected, I don't know. It was like... irrational nerves.

I think we may have caused my fairly prying sister to injure herself though. She's always been fairly nosy with my business. Like, she always has to know when I've done something, so she can make a smart comment in front of our parents. So me and my then girlfriend are up in my room.... bed springs start making noise. After a while of this, we here a really heavy crashing sound through the wall in the bathroom.

Turns out my sister somehow slipped and fell in the bath/shower. Never asked her about it, but she was totally listening in.

 

[maninahat]

It generally goes perfectly well. The only complaint my parents have is that they hear about it after everyone else, my friends having already heard about it through facebook status changes.

The most fun though is introducing my girlfriends to my grandparents. My last two girlfriends have been Chinese and Indian (respectively), and my grandparents are the old fashioned sort with "old fashioned views". They try to be polite, but you can clearly see how out of their depth they are, and how careful they are trying to not say something offensive. Bless 'em.

 

[Palademon]

I imagine it would go "Hey, this is my mum. Mum, this is . You probably won't ever meet my dad, since it seems a bit weird to go to his house just to point out that I'm in a relationship."

Nothing special really. But I don't really believe in making a big deal of it, like having a dinner or something.
Although in my head it'd probably be a big deal that I got a partner.

My family's quite laid back, what with it basically just being my mum. Likewise my brother probably wouldn't think enough of it to try to meet them.
I suppose if I was going to get married to them I'd like them to have a decent relationship with my family so it doesn't seem out of the blue.
I guess I could just bring them to an annual celebration, like a christmas party, or new years. Too bad there aren't more times of the year to have a natural meeting like that.

Anyway, I think if I ever go through this, my partner's family will be more likely to cause problems.