Is anyone else in perpetual identity crisis?

[manaman]

Since the discussion has kind of twisted this way I wanted to point out that I often hear people refer to feeling as if they wear masks around different people and different groups. I hear this from people that are young and yet to learn it's normal. Almost everyone has circles of friends.

Not all my friends share all my interests. I enjoy some outdoor activities as much as I enjoy video games. I date, I own a small ranch, I work in a very limited career field. I have friends that are also engineers.

And yes some friends are engineers and like to ride quads, and maybe go fishing, but are not into video games.

I hardly think of it as "masks" to limit what I talk about and what parts of myself I emphasis among the different groups of friends, and I know for a fact these people do it as well because sometimes the circles overlap and I see different behaviors with different members in the group. It's the same as limiting what you say and do while dating someone, or around family. You are still you.

 

[Kae]

It's not a crisis, it's just that I'm still getting to know myself, makes sense considering I don't really understand people and I'm not quite sure how feelings work, I hardly can understand mine, empathy confuses me a lot, I tend to go overboard with it or don't feel it at all, but I'm just guessing it's part of growing up doesn't really help that I don't know how to show them, but in any case I guess it's just part of growing up, and since I didn't learn that as a kid I get to learn it now, it does kinda make me feel like an idiot.

 

[Cyberdelic]

I lack a defined identity, unlike my peers. I?ve pretty much been the same guy from Year 7 up until Year 12, which is what I?m in now, while I see other people I?ve grown up with drastically change into infinitely better beings. Also, I act like a fucking tag-along weirdo at school, a moody shut-in at home, and a shy mute in public and around strangers. I don?t really have many people to talk to about ?real stuff? either.

Oh yeah, and I?m depressed. So that?s me.

Been there and done that, brother. It's not a nice place to be but here is hoping that you move out of it. By the time I'd left college I was a completely different soul to who I was before I entered. Interesting how we can change so much in two years . . .

I also suggest that EVERYBODY watches 'Waking Life' and/or 'I Heart Huckabees' as they explore the topics of indentity of the self and reality and perception.

 

[Rawne1980]

I have no identity crisis.

I know what and who I am and i'm incredibly happy with it.

 

[Doclector]

Since you're participating in discussions on this forum and actively seeking out compassion from people who feel like you, I doubt you actually think like Patrick Bateman did.

Yes, but it's often a lot easier to express yourself by saying "i feel like this character" than by trying to describe how you feel.

I feel like that quite a bit sometimes. Like I'm expected to be many different people, so many that I can't quite remember which alias was the real one. Or simply that in todays age, a lot of our identity depends on what social "group" you feel you fit in with, and I feel like I don't quite fit in with anyone. It's true that I found some comfort in the local metal community, but sometimes I just realise how vastly different I am even to these people with whom I've aligned myself. It's like I'm settling for this sometimes, like I don't truly fit here but I've come damn closer to fitting in here than anywhere else.

I feel like the only one of my kind sometimes. Either the only one left, or the only one that ever existed in the first place, like I'll never truly be able to understand anyone, and nobody will ever truly be able to understand me.

I shouldn't think about it this much, really. I am who I am. Whoever the bloody hell that is at heart, I've tried to be "normal" and there's only so long I can keep that up, certainly not long enough to fool anyone. It ain't changing anytime soon, for better or worse. May as well keep on learning how to deal with it better.

 

[Olas]

Ya, as someone who likes spending time alone I'm pretty well acquainted with myself.

That doesn't mean I don't act differently in certain company, but I don't really think of it as being deceitful or wearing a mask. It's more like dressing for the occasion, know your audience, that sort of thing. It's always me though, just me through a different lens.

 

[DugMachine]

Eh not really. My two closest friends, mom and dad, and girlfriend are the only people I can be my true self with. And this forum.

Everywhere else I have to put on this face. Masking my social anxiety and trying with all my might to seem like an outgoing person. The rest of my family I have to walk on egg shells around because we have very conflicting personalities.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Mammoth, don't do anything rash now...

I feel like someone who is too many people in one. Musician, gamer, worker, actor, Uncle...

I have too many faces but behind them all I'm still me. I have a strong sense of self.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

I personify what I want to personify, but it feels empty, I've worn many masks in my life, and I lost myself very early along the way.

I essecially just try to seek harmony with others, and the only conflict I strive for is the conflict that helps myself and others learn.

I am me, but I know not who me is.

 

[AgentLampshade]

I'm pretty sure I know who I am. I act differently to certain people but that's more about being comfortable in their presence.

I agree with myself wholeheartedly.

 

[josemlopes]

I know that feel, bro.

But honestly, I do understand and in a way still strugle with it. Like some already said only some people have "seen" the "true" me. I dont want to be the guy that people may not like to be around with so I kind of create a mask to hide that personality (or the idea of the lack of one) to be accepted. In a way I know that its a dumb thing to do but I guess its how it works at these stage of life

 

[Casual Shinji]

Having an identity crisis kinda goes with the territory of being socially underdeveloped.

That and I'm turning 30 in a few days. *sigh*

 

[Old Father Eternity]

For years now the sane rational one is not always in charge

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

My personality is split into about three parts;
The Internet "me"
The Family "me"
The Friend "me", which is split between school friend "me" and other friend "me".

Sometimes I wonder if I have a personality at all; my family one is an awkward one, but only because I lose the confidence and my way with words with them, unlike when I socialize with my friends(there's also a language barrier w/ my mum & my brother; I speak, read & write English more than I speak etc. my native language, so my Lithuanian isn't as good as it used to be).

Out of the three parts, I suppose the Internet "me" is closest to my true personality; the online privacy-barrier-thing pretty much lets me say what I want to say, and since I frequent slightly more sophisticated sites like The Escapist, people tend not to judge me.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

I sometimes feel that way but I more often suffer from the feeling that whenever bad shit that happens locally (I.E. Family, friends, school) I seem to end up right in the middle of it.

It puts me in the mind of another quote from Nicolas Cage

"Oh nothing, only they seem'd to get every creep and freak in the universe into this one plane, and then somehow managed to let them take it over, and then somehow managed to stick me right smack in the middle..."

 

[beyondbrainmatter]

From American Psycho:

"There is an idea of a [my name]. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it, I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone; in fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others."


Does anyone feel the same?

Well, I don't.

 

[A.A.K]

My family line has a hard history for soldiers (*cough* mercenaries *cough*), the underworld and fighters.
I personally have a very violent history.

Do I have a perpetual identity crisis thing going on? Yes. All the damn time.
Good and Evil, whether good and evil is relevant, why I have the history I do, why it's always been in my family, is my son destined for this too?
and then when you meet my girlfriend it'll make your head spin. She's the complete opposite of me. She has the happiest, most loving family/childhood/history I've ever even heard of. Why does she work so well for me? Am I reeeeeeeeeeeally like my family? I dunno.

Constant thoughts.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

I lack a defined identity, unlike my peers. I?ve pretty much been the same guy from Year 7 up until Year 12, which is what I?m in now, while I see other people I?ve grown up with drastically change into infinitely better beings. Also, I act like a fucking tag-along weirdo at school, a moody shut-in at home, and a shy mute in public and around strangers. I don?t really have many people to talk to about ?real stuff? either.

Oh yeah, and I?m depressed. So that?s me.

Been there and done that, brother. It's not a nice place to be but here is hoping that you move out of it. By the time I'd left college I was a completely different soul to who I was before I entered. Interesting how we can change so much in two years . . .

I also suggest that EVERYBODY watches 'Waking Life' and/or 'I Heart Huckabees' as they explore the topics of indentity of the self and reality and perception.

Yeah, thanks.

To be honest, it can be pretty goddamn boring not being?anyone, really. I wish that, when people say, ?Don?t care about what other people think of you?, they meant it. Because, let?s face it, everyone cares about what other people think of them, to some extent, whether it be their friends, family, strangers, whoever. If we didn?t, then none of us would have friends and everyone would have the wrong idea about us.

We all live in the same fucking world, so it?s hard not to care. And it?s hard to just relax, think about what you?re going to say, and then say it in a way that perfectly portrays what you were thinking just then in your head. And it?s hard to know what clothes to wear and blah blah blah?I?m rambling now.

I hope this therapy/CBT thing works.

 

[The White Hunter]

Having an identity crisis kinda goes with the territory of being socially underdeveloped.

That and I'm turning 30 in a few days. *sigh*

How many days? I'm 21 and thursday and I feel ancient D:

OT: Nah, I know who I am. I quite often experience feelings of all consuming despair and anguish but that's been covered on here before in a thread I made about depression disorders : D (btw The Escapist is full of very nice people). But that isn't an identity crisis.

I'm too strong willed to suffer from such a thing, I've dragged myself through too much to lose sight of my sense of self.

 

[kannibus]

I always maintained that Patrick Bateman was either a fish or a zombie. Perhaps a zombie fish. My English prof said I was being an idiot. I gave him a carefully crafted final essay defending my position and ended up with a D in the course. I then wrote an essay for extra credit about he was a zombie fish and thus was of a similar mold as Patrick Bateman. I got an A for that.

Since I am fairly sure I am neither fish nor zombie, I would say no to your question.