Is being a gentlemen sexist?

[The Funslinger]

Repeat thread.

Being a gentleman only to women is kind of a dick move. Be gentlemanly to everyone.
I find it so funny that `holding the door` open is made out like a big thing. The only thing that pisses me off is if some guy legs it in front of me just so he can hold the door open. It's just... weird.

This. And in any case, I certainly find being a gentleman preferable to being a complete wanker. That said, we're a dying breed, for sure. Note: a "Nice Guy" to the women (yes, that kind of "Nice Guy") isn't the same, and you're bit of an arse. Also, being a gentleman/nice person in general doesn't mean being completely inoffensive.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Repeat thread.

Being a gentleman only to women is kind of a dick move. Be gentlemanly to everyone.
I find it so funny that `holding the door` open is made out like a big thing. The only thing that pisses me off is if some guy legs it in front of me just so he can hold the door open. It's just... weird.
I hold the door open for dudes, and I've had dudes refuse to walk through a door I was holding for them- but I dont make a big thing of it.

EDIT: Wait- what? You were holding the door on a bus? You dont need to do that, don't they stay open by themselves? If thats the case you probably looked a bit of a prat.

I think he is talking about opening the door to the movie theatre. I am more curious what happened to the guys. If they were all trying to get through the door, was he stopping them and going "nope, ladies only"?

 

[Kahunaburger]

Well, it's not sexist, but there are diminishing returns for spies after the first one - people really start to expect you and respond accordingly. So it's okay to be the first gentleman and arguably the second gentleman, but if you're the third, fourth, and so on you're basically being a liability to the other gentlemen on your team.

...oh, sorry, misread. I thought this was a vidya gaem forum, not a "let's ask the internet about ambiguous social situations they didn't see first-hand" forum.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Well, it's not sexist, but there are diminishing returns for spies after the first one - people really start to expect you and respond accordingly. So it's okay to be the first gentleman and arguably the second gentleman, but if you're the third, fourth, and so on you're basically being a liability to the other gentlemen on your team.

...oh, sorry, misread. I thought this was a vidya gaem forum, not a "let's ask the internet about ambiguous social situations they didn't see first-hand" forum.

It's called the off-topic section. You know, where you talk about things OTHER than video games.

 

[Kahunaburger]

Well, it's not sexist, but there are diminishing returns for spies after the first one - people really start to expect you and respond accordingly. So it's okay to be the first gentleman and arguably the second gentleman, but if you're the third, fourth, and so on you're basically being a liability to the other gentlemen on your team.

...oh, sorry, misread. I thought this was a vidya gaem forum, not a "let's ask the internet about ambiguous social situations they didn't see first-hand" forum.

It's called the off-topic section. You know, where you talk about things OTHER than video games.

Yeah, I was being unfair. This topic just irritates me, because the right answer is based on subjective social stuff that the internet has no way of knowing.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Depends who you talk to. I know girls who appreciate stuff like that and enjoy being treated like a lil' lady and I also know girls who are more about everyone being equal.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Well, it's not sexist, but there are diminishing returns for spies after the first one - people really start to expect you and respond accordingly. So it's okay to be the first gentleman and arguably the second gentleman, but if you're the third, fourth, and so on you're basically being a liability to the other gentlemen on your team.

...oh, sorry, misread. I thought this was a vidya gaem forum, not a "let's ask the internet about ambiguous social situations they didn't see first-hand" forum.

It's called the off-topic section. You know, where you talk about things OTHER than video games.

Yeah, I was being unfair. This topic just irritates me, because the right answer is based on subjective social stuff that the internet has no way of knowing.

Fair enough. I do agree we don't really have enough information to go on, and some things would need to be clarified before anyone could give a proper answer. Things like why he only held the door for girls, and what exactly "going out of his way" means.

 

[anthony87]

Oh for fuc....Can we not just change the name of this site to "The Escapist of sexist, misogynist, feminist and other gender related threads" and be done with it?

OT: No. It's not sexist, it's polite. If someone has a problem with politeness then it's in your power to tell them to fuck right off.

 

[JesterRaiin]

Is being a gentlemen sexist?

Yes, it is, but on the other hand the term "sexist" doesn't mean what one may suspect. Nwadays "sexist" is pretty much everyone who doesn't perceive his/her gender as inferior.

 

[Vault101]

[img/]http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/123/620/Oh-boy-here-we-go.jpg[/img]

if you want to really get into it the Idea of chivalry in regards to women [b/]while based on good intentions[/b] implys that women are weaker and need protecting, it also comes from a time where as a trade off for all those fun things..women were treated like "ladys"

bottom line is, I don;t expect the door held open for me, I'll say thank you if it is held open....and I'll hold it open for anyone regardless of gender...

 

[Actual]

Sounds pretty sexist to me. Nothing wrong with holding a door for people, doing it because they're women makes you a bit of a tool.

What's the feminine version of gentlemanly? Ladylike? Seems a bit rubbish in comparison.

 

[Thatguyky]

It's not sexist at all, it's just being polite. That girl you overheard talking just seems to have a bit of an ego/edge. Good manners seem to be lost on some people (for better or worse) .

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

I went out of the way and hold the door for all of the girls near me to go first

Yeah, that's sexist. In a sense. You wouldn't have went out of your way to hold the door for all the guys to go in first, would you? Be honest. The idea is that you're a sexist because you did it only because they're girls. You're really just supposed to hold it open for everyone, no one or the person right behind you.

I'm not entirely certain why this is still a question. You really just wanted everyone here to reaffirm your assumption that you were in the right, didn't you?

 

[HardkorSB]

last summer in summer camp we went to watch green lantern. After walking out of the bus,I went out of the way and hold the door for all of the girls near me to go first,but a new girl that recently got into camp made a irritating face and said "What,go in for yourself macho".
Even though she made an effort;I over heard her saying how I was a sexist douchebag,and how she can take care of herself. After the movies I asked my friend if this was the case ,and she said it wasn't true,but I have my doubts.

What's your look on the topic

Next time, slam the door in her face, just as she's going in.

Seriously though, maybe she's a bit insecure?
Maybe someone did that for her before, only to smack her on the ass, so now she doesn't like that?
Maybe she likes you and that's some kind of tsundere defense mechanism?
Maybe she's sexist?
Maybe she thought you were trying to hard to be nice?
Maybe she doesn't like to be treated as cripple who can't open the doors by herself? I know some people who just don't like others to help them because they don't like to rely on others to deal with their own problems.

Maybe, if it bothers you, you should confront her about it? Seems like a logical step to take (I think... unless you've got no way to contact her, in which case better just get over it and let it go).

Why?
Why don't these threads go away?

Because, although these kind of situations happen to people all the time, it doesn't matter to the one making the thread if a similar situation which happened to someone else was discussed on here already because he wants to discuss HIS situation.

 

[RatRace123]

I hold the door open for everyone.

I don't consider it a gender thing, it's just a polite thing to do.

 

[Rednog]

I'm a guy who holds the door for everyone almost every time, and every so often when it comes up I go "oh, ok, wait for a second" I walk in and pull the door closed behind me and let them open the door themselves. Usually they get flustered and don't say anything else.

 

[lacktheknack]

Are you being a gentleman towards men as well?

If not, then yes. If so, then no.

 

[Woodsey]

An entire line of women don't need the door held open for them. Hold it open for the person behind you, and get over the idea of 'chivalry' and 'being a gentleman'.

Either be polite to everyone, or just don't go out of your way to be a nob. It's not difficult.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I suppose you could say that, but I would think it's sexist in a good way so I can't imagine why any woman would complain about it.

As for me, I usually hold the door open for anyone coming behind me regardless of gender. I figure that's just common courtesy.

 

[Dogstile]

Like everyone else said I suppose. I find it funny that she was probably just assuming you wanted to be nice because she was a girl though.

On that note, if you see anyone yell at someone for holding the door open for them, I encourage you to yell at them. They're probably not used to getting it back and will probably not do it to anyone else after. You're making the world a better place, so go nuts.